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At wit's end stuck in a 3-year composer's block.
(My apologies in advance if I posted this thread in the wrong section or the topic was discussed before. I think mine may be more specific to myself. I also apologise for the length of this post, but I'm a bit at wit's end.)
So, for the past three or so years (with the exception of that soundscape thing JohnnyGoodyear and I did summer of last year) I've been stuck in a major composer's block, and quite frankly I have no idea how to break out of it. Googling helpful hints has given me some strategies, but so far those have fell short and I fall back into the rut. Soundscapes are not my main genre but rather dance/trance/pop (I refuse to use the nasty generic coverall term "EDM"). I even have a track I produced featured in a Grossbeat tutorial on Youtube called "Kowloon", so I've no idea what to do.
One of the major hurdles I face is an irrational "fear of equipment failure", that if I start going along, whether on a PC or my iPad, that something will fail. I know it sounds rather silly, and I acknowledge it as irrational, but it eats up a lot of my mental space when it could be receptive to new ideas instead.
Another hurdle is more along the lines of lyrics writing rather than arrangement itself, where my brain constantly tells me things like "gods this is so generic and lame, this line is rather stupid and people will laugh at you, it's not specific enough, what midrange cack, it doesn't evoke enough emotion, etc". I try to shut off the negative thoughts, and it works for about 10 or so minutes until I read/sing back what I wrote. Sometimes the same goes for melodies where it's like "this has been done to death before, can't you do something new and useful".
I've read it all about getting enough sleep at night (which I do), eating healthy (which I do to lose weight), making a schedule (despite the fact there's a different routine each day depending on the day of the week it is rather than a set time), opening myself up to all ideas (of which, 99% are useless), trying to be original (which is where a lot of my struggle seems to come in), etc.
I used to be able to churn out tunes like mad back when I attended college, but ever since I earned my two bachelor degrees (one in Music, and a fine arts one in Composing and Music Technology), the ideas soon started to dry up and a year after graduating, my creativity became a desert. I took a break for a couple months after that, came back, and nothing. I remade a couple of my older tracks successfully, and nothing new. Remixed an Abba track, but nothing new.
I think I'm stuck in an "app purchasing" mode, where I buy synths, effects, etc, to try and spark creativity, and other than making some cool sounds....nothing.
Before this, I've never had any problems pumping out the tunes since I was a kid and only made solo piano music! So, is there a way I can overcome this? Can anybody give me any possible advice that's a bit more specific to my problem than the coverall advice I found on Google? (Most answers aren't stupid, and you never know when something just might unlock the muse from its cage.) Thank you a lot in advance. I'll be back later tonight to read any helpful replies.
Comments
Are you experiencing this type of frustration in other areas of your life?
I'm not a professional, but I have known many.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this and hope that things work out well.
Simplicity can be so liberating?
@jwmmakerofmusic I find that listening to music inspires me to make music.
Maybe it's time to go through your collection and see what still moves you.
It sounds like you are suffering from paralysis of the perfectionist. The fear of doing something that sucks, or is not worthy of your abilities as you perceive them.
It's not easy to overcome these kinds of mental blocks, but it's important to realise that everyone sucks at some point, and a huge part of creativity is filtering and editing.
So churn out as much work as you can, without worrying about how good or bad it is, let yourself go through the process of creation for a sustained amount of time, and leave the judging until later. Like a year or two later.
The key is to constantly produce, and accept that most of it might suck, and it doesn't matter, because the process itself will eventually guide you.
This is exactly why we have the Song of the Month Club here, to encourage constant, sustained and consistent productivity, because working is the key to creativity.
Seems the transition occurred post college. What changed? Easy to make guesses... do you need to recreate that experience? Or some fundamental aspects of it?
What makes you worry about equipment malfunction now - but not earlier on?
I sympathize. I made a foray into music making straight out of college, got swept under 100% for 20 years - for me balancing non-music career with the 'needs' of creativity only led to frustration, so I worked until I was able to indulge (mostly) on my own terms.
Also, question the question - why the concern for "finishing" tracks? And for malfunctions? Starting and finishing - I think this production-cycle can be anathema to creativity, and nominally hinged in an economic contrivance... hard to shirk in the post-college responsible zone...
An anecdote I remember reading somewhere, can't remember where sadly, was Leonard Bernstein having a young composer staying in his house was watching him jamming on the piano, just mashing the keys, and saying that he remembered doing that, and how much fun it was. But he couldn't do it anymore because whenever he woud try he always questioned himself: "is this note worthy of Lenoard Bernstein?" So the doubt would creep in and paralyse him.
Another story that I love and have already posted at least a couple of times already is this one from the book Art and Fear:
The ceramics teacher announced he was dividing his class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right graded solely on its quality.
His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would weigh the work of the “quantity” group: 50 pounds of pots rated an A, 40 pounds a B, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot - albeit a perfect one - to get an A.
Well, come grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity!
It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work - and learning from their mistakes - the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay
The shield of faith will extinguish all the fiery arrows of the wicked.
And ones fears, may turn to flowers.
which in turn become as a mirror
Read a Tony Attwood book?
I think you are experiencing what therapists term 'thinking errors' :- erroneous thinking- of which perfectionism as mentioned earlier is one. Try to get hold of a self help book on CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)- you are likely to find this helpful.
Also- purchase one Roland TB-03 and use with Novation Blocs Wave. I was in a similar position to yourself- but the TB-03 has cured me. I can understand better now why people were paying thousands for the originals. Some may say you are churning out the same old Acid sound with it- but this is absolutely not the case- creating superb fresh sounding patterns on this thing is as easy as it is pleasurable. I like to think of it along the lines of:- people (like me) who enjoy eating peanuts never get tired of eating them- and will often look forward to the next mouthful- even though I have just finished eating a packet
Create a new name for yourself that is detached from everything and everyone that might know of you. Make music for yourself, make the lyrics as rubbish or simple as you want, make music as weird or out there as you want. Put it on SoundCloud, YouTube, and use a service like distrokid to push your music onto streaming platforms and the iTunes Store.
No one will ever know who you are, you will be a ghost in the machine. Do what you want and there will be no repocussions except maybe positive ones.
Do it for you and not your audience.
Let it out there and being annonamous gives you huge artistic freedoms.
https://distrokid.com
I want a tb03 now lol. There is something about that little silver box..
I remember the first time I used a tb303 plugin on buzz machines and just sat for hours tweaking the env res & cutoff.. it's magic
You said it exactly. It's the aphorism in you and us. Let me tell you, I made more music before I got into all this digital software music making fiasco. I used to own a Tascam 688 Midi Studio and a Korg i30 interactive music workstation. I made so many songs with those two. When I sold those two to get into PC music, it all went down hill. Not because the hardware was no good, or because I didn't have any more inspiration. It was because, every single plug in demanded more time to learn it. What ever I was working was never good enough and wanted another plug in to make it better.
So now, when I said, enough is enough, i got the iPad. At first, I was like, Cubasis, audiobus, and Rock drum machine is all Im ever gonna need. Yeah right? Who was i kidding. Well, it's now end of 2016 and still haven't released my song set. Matter of fact, haven't even finished a complete song from start to finish. Its always little bits of this and that. Why, because now its not the plug ins, its the apps that take all the attention. Now is waiting for the next one, yes, that one will really make my juices run again and i will actually finish a song. Wrong.
I began to delete a bunch of apps that have done just that. Distract me from making music.
So far, for me Basic drum machine, recorder and synth app is what i am aiming for. I am in now way out of the woods yet, but i'm learning too.
My recommendation, do a complete reset of your iPad. Erase all your apps, and only install your favorite DAW. One or Two synth apps, and your favorite one or two drum apps.
I might just end up doing just that myself. Because otherwise, we'll all hit retirement, and produce no finished music. I really miss those days of just plug and hit record, and let it rip. Track 1 done, track 2 bass, done, track 3 drums done, track 4 acoustic done, vocals, etc, done. Felt so good to do mixdown.
Now, we are never satisfied with the results because of so many options to polish the music. So I will be making my list and do what i preach.
Hope this helps you man, but remember, what would work for me, might not work for you, well, until you try right?
All the best!
Also a great exercise to set yourself is a concept album, make a lp set in the year 4590 and sing about the problems you face as a half android humanoid that lives on Jupiter.. just go crazy with it
I agree 1000%. Just recently i've been listening to pure smooth Jazz on Pandora, while on the metro train. Guess what? I've been creating more of that music. Never thought it before. All i wanted was to make rock music. Now, all of the sudden, im into making smooth jazz.... yeah!
Sampletank2 sax has me hooked! And Gadget has helped a lot too.
Try it listening to more music. Don't
Even think about making it until you have that hunger and thirst...It's like those times when you get close to lunch time, and you are not hungry cause you ate a huge snack... You don't wanna eat anymore. Well, maybe you're there now. Take some time off brotha!
Also Brian Enos oblique strategies cards are pretty awesome http://www.rtqe.net/ObliqueStrategies/
Yeah fun stuff.
As regards the OP; what do you want? Specifically. What are these expectations you feel or fear you can't meet? Take a moment or many and ask yourself to be as simple and clear about what do you want here?.....these are key questions for those who live inside our heads and listen too much to our own sad barking....
but
you want to fire up the hidden cortex again, ride the bullet of yourself through some new and wild jungle? Easy. Seriously. Not a problem. Just do this:
Go fall in love.
Listen to old punk rock exclusively for a few weeks. In abundance: terrible lyrics, bad gear, worse recordings, mistakes everywhere, unimaginative chord progressions, etc. Despite all of it, so much amazing inspiring music.
I set myself a personal goal of releasing one song a week. After struggling with deadlines for a while, I now have to hold back and don't release too many songs a week.
Do like the people composing advertisement and TV music: set deadlines and get the job done. That's my advice.
Like @MusicMan4Christ said, different things work for different folks but I can verify that the above has worked for me. Doesn't need to be a entire concept but just deciding to try to write lyrics from the perspective of someone else is a classic strategy. Bowie, Bjork and PJ Harvey spring to mind as folks who have made entire careers out of it.
I missed initially that you mainly make electronic/pop/dance music. 1) that makes me want to double down on my three weeks of punk rock suggestion! and 2) Erasure, as a rule, write all of their songs on piano or guitar. Once it sounds good and works as a song in that setting, they go to work on beats and synths and harmonies and the rest. Maybe that simplicity will work for you? If you're in near PDX, you can borrow my four track for a while.
have you tried algorithmic composition? like HG Fortune plug-ins or apps with randomization /dice? I rarely have time to work on my own compositions because I am constantly building tracks from algorithmic composition and random patch generators- it is like visiting a record store in Hilbert Space-
Like others have said, you may need to let go of perfectionism, it will never be perfect, ever. The best you can do is "good enough for right now". Stop giving a shit about your music. Seriously? Yes seriously. The best music I've ever done was always the ones where I just sat down to make some noise, play around and said fuck it, this clearly wants to be an angry noisy song, or this one wants to be a ballad and just letting the song write itself by continuing to play around. I always think the best music results from a composer who is having fun. So ruthlessly eliminate anything in your workflow that is not fun. Have you been using some daw with a thousand options and a shitty gui where everything is 5 clicks away? Get rid of it. Thats not fun. Remember the piano? Yeah that was fun, because that's all you had. So you got madly creative within limits and made a lot of tunes. LIMITS LIMITS LIMITS. Cut out the fat, make it simple, and limit the amount of crap you have to juggle with during composing. Do you really need the ability to chain 8 fx inserts together in parallel and series for every single sound? Probably not. Must every melody consist of 5 layers of 6 op FM synths with all parameters being automated at once? I'm gonna say no. When you have so many options, it is overwhelming. I believe a lot of what us electronic music folks think is due to writer's block, is actually due to analysis paralysis and being overwhelmed by choices.
Perhaps after you finished school, you set a much higher standard for yourself (and why not?). Maybe your music taste has refined, as well as your filter for higher quality compositions. Now every time you try to make a track, you shut it down before fully realizing the idea, not letting your natural creative juices over take everything you know (right brain vs left brain kind of thing).
When I'm on a dry spell, I read or write to pass the time. I use to DJ and that was always good to do in between tracks.
Maybe you just need a break from music. There were times I needed to and eventually did. At first I felt like shit like i was turning my back on a chunk of my identity, or worse, that if I did I would never return, but I needed it. Came back stronger in the end, it was worth it.
@jwmmakerofmusic I hit a similar wall some time ago: I've been using Logic since the pre-Apple days and despite being such a lovely and arguably limitless DAW I was losing my connection with music x feeling. Projects were becoming purely mechanical exercises. iOS has been a steadily-blooming wonderland of possibilities but again for me wasn't solving the Problem (the mentioned "mechanical exercises").
In retrospect I think the Block was (ironically) WAY too much possibility and not enough restraint. The Key (for me) was introducing bits of hardware in small doses: a Teenage Engineering Pocket Operator, a Korg ES2, and most recently a Novation Circuit which I more / less value above all else in terms of unlocking the path (and feeling the same warm-fuzzy goodness of music making 1.0 (Mac+ and an Akai s900).
The constraints of the Circuit flipped a switch in my head and instead of trying to narrow my focus within limitless possibility I'm instead trying to maximize 6 sequencer lanes and getting creative with Sample Flipping. The specifics aren't important (what opens my doors vs what opens others etc) but what is important is that the "unlocking" affect the Circuit had on me transfers (seamlessly) across the board: it changes the way I think and make music no matter what I'm making it on. So my 2¢ is to take on something new which offers both expression but also very real parameters of limitation that you can push back against.
super good advice. and it helps me to think about this for my own self. thank you!
great story!!! again helpful, and thanks!
good point!! Loving this thread! (cause I'm stuck too
)
We are all stuck my friend, it is the process of getting unstuck wherein the stuff just beyond our reach slips, finally, into our grasp
Talking (again) of Mister Cohen, recently I posted a quote by his son Adam quoting his father, I re-post because it is relevant here also...
"He said there’s a moment when you’re blocked on a song, or on any work, and it’s only when you’re about to quit having put much, much more time than you planned into it that the work begins. That’s when you’ve crossed the threshold of being on the right track."
Music can be easy, but it is more often insufferably hard. It's good to remember for all the "Oh I wrote that in ten minutes..." there's plenty of work (and it can be work, however sometime joyous) in there for most of us. Even the Mister Cohen's, who spent years knocking out that Hallelujah tune folks seems to like....which also leads me on to Annie Lamott's treatise on Shitty First Drafts. And the better you become at your craft the more Shitty These Drafts Seem and thus do they offend thine eye (and heart), whereas that's where you always started, where we all always start....