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Serious Thread: REGRET (real talk)
This is a tough weekend for me here in the states, it is "Father's Day".
I am not about to get into a Freudian "my daddy didn't love me". Fear not.
Music and the associated scene were my whole existence. Miami, New York, Philly, and Baltimore.
I had many years of wild rock and roll antics of partying and debauchery. Many years were destructive and self defeating in retrospect.
One such way that now haunts me, is not having any children. It is not a viable option with my better half and I am now past prime years for me to even have had a child.
It hurts. It makes me sad to see people with their kids and knowing I will never experience it. I will no doubt get a song from this.
I want those of you who have children to know how lucky your are. And for all the dads, congrats on being special people.
Happy Fathers Day, you deserve it.
Comments
Maybe a great song will come from this
Maybe.
Similar boat, in my forties, no kids, my wife is fifty with a major illness. Routine lengthy hospital stays etc. When I was younger I always assumed I would have kids. At a certain point in my 30s I would catch my mind wandering 'One day I will do that with my k... oh right...nevermind.'. Now, to make it easier I just consciously focus on the perks of not having them. Its not a bulletproof method but I know plenty of parents with kids who are miserable and feel their life is meaningless anyway or have horrible realtionships with their kids and that drags them down even worse than not having kids does for me!
Heh, Yah, it can be rough at times. We don't bother socialising much as its kids kids kids with people our age. Co-workers assume I am carefree with no kids (must be nice eh?) and have no idea what my life is really like. Being a caregiver for someone with an illness like this is constant stress and anxiety. Also... growing old, probably being alone as a senior with no family. People I know with kids really take them for granted, having no clue what my life is like, another reason I can't stand hanging around with them. I don't want to hear about their kids or their vacations...
Happy Father's Day! I hate it almost as much as Christmas! Haha.
I can only get a little serious about anything I guess. life is a temporal scam anyway,fuck it. 
I'll be your child. Can I borrow $20?
I have a 12 year old daughter, sometimes it's really hard to feel lucky.
And I'm not even kidding.
Borrow? You are a disgrace to children everywhere.
So similar almost scary.
Wife has melanoma.
Thanks so much to know I am not alone.
Sure, right after you go cut my fucking grass you lout
I think you are.
But I get it.
Good post friend.
"I guess we learned that no matter who you are or where you come from, life is a terrible thing". - Peter Griffin
İm 42 and my üife is 39. Üe have a 19 month boy. İ no longer have the letter "double u" on my keyboard cause i'm not sure ühat my kid did to the settings.
Any hoü, some people be like "a little late, no?" And İ retort üith "pffft, my dad üas 50 and my mom 42 ühen i üas born. İ like to think i'm ahead and i also like to believe i kept them young. My dad lived until 91 last year and my mom is still good.
For years my üife has üanted a child, and i alüays insisted it üasn't the right time; not until i got my finances straight. İronically, after üe both got laid off from our jobs the same year, İ became open to having children. İ realized there is no such thing as the right time, and that i must surrender, and that it isn't necessary to have control over everything.
Thanks everyone for sharing your setiments.
All of the feels. Every single one of em
I do feel for you, @RustiK. I have three great kids, all grown up & doing their own things (one of them just a bit of a musician himself). I wish all could experience what I've been very lucky to.
You all could be me > 50 (never married) no wife no kids of my own. Fortunately all the family (brother sister niece and nephews all in good health - well except for my sister in law - that's another story (Cushings) )
Life is hard, which is why I do art and make music and write poetry. Also why I believe, "Do what thou wilt, but don't be a dick" is the whole of the law. We all got it hard in one way or another and we all don't really know what's next now or beyond the veil.
Prayers love respect and love for all ya'll.
(Fist Bump / Bro Hug)
Your kind words are appreciated by all dads. It's a gig I am so blessed to have.
But there are many ways you can experience much of the joy: as an uncle, 'Big Brother', volunteer, music mentor... I hope opportunities come your way to share in both the happiness and satisfaction of helping a young one navigate the challenges of life.
Great thread. Makes you realise the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side. I'm in my early 40's and my daughter is already 16. I often feel I missed out on so much single life ... but maybe not. This thread just might prevent me from having a mid life crisis and running off with a 20 something swimsuit model.
@pichi you should stick with a woman who will go to pot the same rate as you. The 20 something will hardly ever stick with you.
Thanks, a very nice sentiment even though it's sad. And all the best to you and your wife. I am blessed with two beautiful daughters, 13 and 11, and even though they present challenges at times I know I am very lucky that they are healthy and have good heads on their shoulders.
A forum full of artists. Never really considered the consequences of that until now. Love to you all. Xxx xxx. Mmmm. Dhhcjkvjgcggzhcvjj
I met my wife when I was 21 and got married at 24. Glad I did.
I lived a life roughly similar to yours, RustiK. Except I never got into drugs. My life in showbiz and beyond was footloose and fiancé free. My married friends were envious, but equally I envied the stability of their relationships. Very happy today with partner who had kids in her younger life, now grown up - them and me - and I get on really well with them.
As for you, you have someone to care for and who cares for you, and your songs are your children. Many people would be envious of that, so rock on!
In my twenties I thought the "hard" decision was to have kids. In my 30's I realized the hard decision was to not have them. I have regrets but I'm also married to the love of my life (and we can't) so I'm at peace.
Hope the best for you,
RR
There is no fence to look over, we're all in the same field. Birth, good times, bad times, luck and no luck, death. It is (of course) a function of any life, especially from the forties into the fifties and onwards, to mull over the paths not taken, that which (for us all) might have happened but didn't. And then we keep on. Doing the best we're able and loving our family members (in all their many forms). Kindness and empathy seem to be the only real currencies, creativity and humor the only real balm.
I can relate. I'm 32 and have been trying to steel myself over the last few years to the high probability that I won't ever be able to support a girlfriend/wife, much less have ever have a kid, due to mental health issues and narcolepsy. Even after cutting out drinking and drugs a few years back I'm still not stable or consistent enough to even work a full-time job, much less throw a family life on top of that. I rarely even drive, after having a big accident falling asleep at the wheel a few years back. So I'm very thankful for my parents, and especially my father, for the support they've given me.
Don't make no difference what nodoby says, ain't nobody like to be alone.
Not everyone is up for parenthood. My (adopted) parents thought they were but were not. The end result being I did not make it out of childhood in one piece. Thus I was in no way ready to be a father when my (then) girlfriend got pregnant all those years ago, but was at least determined that my daughter should not suffer as I had done. Thankfully my (now) wife and her family are sane and supportive and my daughter has been able to grow up with both parents in a decent environment.
Thank you for your words @JohnnyGoodyear
This thread just might prevent me from having a mid life crisis and running off with a 20 something swimsuit model.
>
The big problem with dating anyone spectacularly attractive in a physical way, is that unless you are Brad Pitt, sooner or later someone better than you - in the model's doe eyes - will inevitably come along.
I learned a long time ago that the best combo is someone whose attractiveness is roughly 50/50 on the outside and inside. Ugly inside wrecks any chance.
More to having kids than getting a card and Star Wars t-shirt on Father's Day - it can be the best experience in the World, and the worst.
Swings and roundabouts - enjoy the good bits of what you have, while you have them.
I am not the world's most natural father but I try my best.
I spent a couple of years as a stay-at-home Dad supported by my wife's income and it is tough but satisfying.
The close-to-teen years are bloody rough though.
Something, something hormones ...
I echo @MonzoPro's comments.