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Comments
What do you mean tell her? What’s up with you young pups!
Hello everyone, it’s been a few months since I’ve been involved here, but thought I’d chime in before month’s end and share the latest track I’ve been working on with my songwriting student. I always love the feedback from everyone, and I’ll share my thoughts on some of the earlier tracks a little later today. Hope you enjoy!
@richardyot, enjoyed your track a lot! Firt time I had heard Middle East Drums in action, and I was impressed. Liked the way you varied up the patterns and changed up the different instruments. Much better than the same static (or only slightly varied) groove playing throughout a piece. Nice chord progression; I especially liked the use of the I and iii chords on the chorus. Liked the double tracking of the voice on the verses which then evolved into full-on harmonies on the chorus. Critiques would be: Though I love the cello sound, the little interlude in the middle of the piece sounded a little bit rambling, cello-wise. I didn't get the sense that the melody had been fully formed or thought out. Apologies if this wasn't the case. Also, (personal taste here, as you'll glean from my submissions) I prefer intros that only start with 1 or 2 of the instruments, especially percussion-wise. Rather than start with a banging (in a good way) drum loop and the pad and the cello, maybe strip a lot of that away until a bit further into the song. Obviously not the cello, and maybe not the pad, but perhaps the drums could have been a lot more minimalist during the intro. Just a thought; I've stumbled across this technique a few times when I'd laid down a bunch of parts and inadvertently had many of them muted when I hit play. Loved the result, and then I could really hit the listener when I brought them all in.
Nice production mate...... Top Banana. Enjoyed it
Well I've never been told "Top Banana" before, but I'll take it. Thanks!
@LostBoy85, really nice track. As piano and acoustic guitar are my primary instruments, I always enjoy mixes where those 2 instruments play well together. You managed to take the piano, guitar, and organ (3 instruments that can occupy a lot of the same frequencies), and blend them nicely. Performance was top notch, and I thought the vocal harmonies, both male and female, were beautifully done. Well crafted, songwriting-wise, nice little country/folk/pop hybrid. A couple of suggestions, if I may: A touch of reverb (or a touch more reverb, though I didn't detect any) on the vocals would have sounded nice, I believe. The male vocal, like my own, is a touch nasally, though still a really nice voice. I've found that cutting a few db around 700hz really helps tone down the nasal quality of my own voice, and I wonder if you've tried doing the same. Finally, I wish that 4th chord in the intro (that sort of minor iv over the V) had made another appearance elsewhere in the tune. I love unexpected chord changes that still sound good, and I think that could have shown up somewhere else! Great job, looking forward to hearing more from you.
Be sure the dog will always return to his vomit.
I like how you build up the song and the arrangement. The instruments enter the song at the right moment. I could see this song play on the radio. For my personal taste I really like the melody but I think that radio songs usually have a more distinction between verse and chorus. Great production. What instruments and DAW did you use?
It's an old South London expression...... (as I am an Old Git, & from South London originally .......
)... Means "Top Man"....... (all good stuff)...... 
Nice one Johnny. Did you take a breath when to spoke threw that whole track, or was that in one deep long breath before starting? Loved the Ragga style drums throughout(I was expecting Yellowman, or Papa San, or Elephant man to start bursting out some chanting in a 1982 Dancehall Stylee at the end)....... But seriously, loved it.
Thanks, @fattigman! I used Cakewalk Sonar for this song, using primarily Bazille, Iris2, and Addictive Keys VSTs, NI Battery for some of the drums. Izotope Ozone Elements to master. Though I've made a few iOS only productions in the past, I've been using Sonar for so long I'm quite comfortable with it, and really like some of the VSTs I've acquired. At the same time however, I absolutely adore some of the sounds in Gadget and GarageBand, so I really want to devise a way to work in both platforms, sending what I work up in Gadget and GB to the desktop for further tweaking, and probably mixing and mastering. iOS for me currently is a great inspiration-starter, but I want to use it for more than that.
@trackedout love the chaotic drum solo, and the way the guitars come in and out during it, adds a lot of life to the track.
It's a good track, a solid groove being driven by the guitar riff and the drums, with the usual laid-back vocals that always contrast so nicely with the more driven sounds from the guitars. The bass lines are always fun to listen out for as well. The guitar is pretty tight in this one, but it still has that feeling that everything might fall apart at any moment!
@AndyPlankton @Bluepunk this is like John Lydon as guest vocalist on a Dreadzone track. Love the music, it's really good and the contrast with bluey's vitriolic vocalising is pretty cool. To be fair bluey is quite restrained in this one, almost laid-back (Dr probably changed his meds up after complaints from family members and local constabulary).
Would like to see the lyrics in writing, always makes it a little easier to follow the sometimes tricky stream-of-consciousness.
A great collaboration, you two should hook up again.
@Joel75 great entry, your student has an amazing voice as usual, and the arrangement and instrumentation are very contemporary with the bleeping synth alongside the keys.
I like the groove, and the dynamics and the ebb and flow of the track. Maybe some more instrumental melodies or hooks would have been nice but that's a minor niggle, especially as there are some really nice and interesting instrumental counter-melodies behind the vocals in places. It's a very professional sounding track performed with enormous polish. Nice laid-back vocal melody and delivery as well, gives a slow melancholic mood to the song.
And thanks also for the very detailed and thoughtful feedback you have provided, always appreciated.
@JohnnyGoodyear good to see you decided not to skip class this month after all... It's bad luck to break the chain, and you don't want to leave me with the bragging rights of being the only one to not miss a month since inception, you need to be right on my heels, breathing down my neck
There's a lot of words to take in here, and it's a weird tale so quite hard to keep up with, I can't say I know what the track is about but I let it wash over me and enjoyed as is, like a dream in a Bukowski novel.
The vocal treatment is pretty cool, it really enhances the spoken word and adds to the intensity of the story, gives the voice an urgency which is also reinforced by the delivery, really good job on that combination of performance and processing.
I'm new around here, be kind
for a day or two. I got here beacuse I saw the FB post about Model D samples this morning.
From my 2018 collection, here's 11PM Dance. Composed entirely with Studio One Artist samples.
What a fantastic song, Richard! Bravo! Huge improvement on your songwriting! Enjoyed the simple choruses!
Your beats could be played in any top notch club I know of. Absolutely ready for commercial release, mate! Hats off!
Great ballad! Your voice shines as usual, and Shevaun’s is gorgeous. Thanks for sharing!
What an interesting composition, Rick! Great harmonies and great rhythm!
What an interesting, cool idea, and great, intriguing textures! Well done, Mitch!
I liked this one very much! Great usuage of FX on your voice. Is it a flanger? Great, raw sounding song!
Wow! This is very cool! Technopunk? EPM (Electronic Punk Music)? Great lyrics and a contagious rhythm! Thanks for sharing!
Yes, I did enjoy! Who’s the singer? What a great, smooth female voice! Whoever she is, brava! Enjoyed the mix a lot, everything is in place! Congrats!
Very cool! Studio One is a powerful DAW!
I don’t remember if it’s against the rules - I haven’t posted in SOTMC in months! - but my entry for this month is a cover of one of my fav songs. Enjoy!
@Joel75 thanks so much for your encouraging and thoughtful feedback mate. Yes, there is reverb, but others have also mentioned there should be more
at least that’s an easy fix!! 
Well, the instrumentation is lovely, the drum intro kicks ass. The singing is beautiful and well mixed, I love the verb echo at the end of certain phrases. There is lots of nice little touches musically for sure & it’s a nice song.
For me though, I wanted a bit more of a hook, the little vocal climb in the chorus is nice,but overall the chorus could be stronger imho, because as I think about what I just heard, the things I’m remembering liking the most are mostly musical & i’m not sure that’s what you want with a pop song.
Please don’t get me wrong, I did really like the song, I just think there’s an even better song lurking in the shadows...
Hope that helps.
Love it!.......... Nicely done.
@LostBoy85, thanks so much for the feedback! I love the idea of an even better song "lurking in the shadows." I think your comments were very insightful, in that I've been doing production for 20+ years, but my student has only been writing songs for about a year. I appreciate you noticing some of the "little things" in the production, but I agree that the song itself could still use a little work.