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OT: ABF Addicts
AFTER LENGTHY INTROSPECTION I HAVE TO ADMIT MY LIFE NEEDS TO CHANGE:
I have an unhealthy addict to IOS App purchases.
I have an unhealthy addict to reading and writing on the ABF.
I need to find more healthy outlets for my time. More exercise, better diet and
more focus on some special people in my life that will sustain me in decline.
So, I will try to limit my time here to my efforts to create useful comments for
anyone I can help with tutorial efforts.
I love many of my fellow members for their impact on my creative life: encouraging,
supportive and great models of the artists dilemma: how much will the art dominate the
life of the artist and how much control will the artists exert over his role as a human being.
It's a series of questions and answers that makes a life work and an artist's work have value.
But like everything it involves decisions about what it truly important.
Humor by the way is a form of art. I like to improvise in all my artistic endeavors and as such
I can make mistakes in judgement. But that's the nature of imporvisation... 80% is crap and 20%
achieves something you can be truly proud of. The 20% justifies the trail of carnage (to yourself)
but not to the people who are hurt.
So, for all the jokes at your expense I sincerely suggest: FEIFCTJ. Feet-cutch.
Thanks.
I have received numerous requests to STFU and worse.
After a lengthy conversation with the one person in my life that I trust I have decided to stay the course and continue to polish my stand-up act using this forum to find new topics of humor.
The 2nd person in my life has told me "You're not funny." and "Please stop." So, I need to practice
using online audiences.
It beats doing the open mic's to work of new material. The trade off is the lack of immediate feedback.
Unfortunately, many cannot tell I'm deploying humor and think I'm just fucking with them or
going over my time at the mic. Fair enough. (Sometimes I do tend to just fuck with people but that's an essential skill for comedy.)
I have decided to learn to make videos and teach my critics to effectively use the "Ignore" feature.
So, I will persist. Feet-Cutch! (FEITCTJ).
I need to attempt humor. It's a part of my creative life and gives me great pleasure and with enough work could help others by modeling a "WTF" attitude that can make the drudgery of
life less painful. As I say... personal issues. It' a creative outlet.
I will also start using the Ignore feature to manage hecklers. Of course, many hecklers just want to be funny too. Get your own act or use the sign up sheet. I need tight 5 minutes.
Comments
Keep it real, man. \m/
Complex multilayered humor is not everyone's cup of tea, but I for sure enjoyed the show so far, even though I should spend it working instead 😉
I thought people liked working with layers or is that layrs or liers or lawyers, damn my dyslexicsear gets the better of me.
I have been impressed by your posts, and wondered about them, and you! I'm pretty new here so wondered what I'd encountered at first...
I heartily endorse your quirky input and wordplay. if I'm actually trying to find some hard info about something, I know I night not necessarily find it staring me in the face in one of your posts, but it makes life more interesting in an utterly harmless way, so that's a YES from me.
Exactly... Xequence Audio Edition. It must be close to being ready. Please commit to a release date. Like @brambos did. Be just like @brambos. Should be easy for you.
NOTE: @SevenSystems check bounced so I will be letting his "Xequence Viral Thread" marketing experiment die and send my efforts pumping up comments for a developer with better financial standing. Unfortunately, the damage to my reputations is impacted and he will be hearing from my crack legal team... once my retainer check has sufficient funds.
Oh what a tangled web we weave...
Thank you. Tea time.
I’m not sure if I understand the OP post and what he’s talking about but I love humor and be a kamikaze sometimes so if I can help in some way... or if I can’t almost let’s troll on everything!
I’m still waiting for a Drambuie reference here wtf
Every musician secretly longs to be a comedian, and vise versa.
Don’t quit yer day job.
...and those that can, do.
And those that cant, philosophize on the AB forum
@McD You’re joking right now, right? I don’t know if I should take you seriously about joking, or if you’re joking about joking. I’m not even being sarcastic here, seriously. I heard it’s only funny if it’s true, so who’s kidding who? I wish I could take you seriously but that would be hilarious, then I’m screwed either way!
I’m a kraut so I have no idea what this ‘humor’ thing is but I like it. Proceed.
Too late. I work for the government. If it can stay intact for another 10-20 years I'll be fine.
There are a lot of helpful services for the homeless and they don't check ID or do background checks. I have shelter and way too much stuff.
As an artist I dig that ambiguity and the challenge it presents for you. If you even figure me
out I really become a cliche. A hack. A wanna be. A malcontent.
True be told I am all those things but so much more. I have the Boy Scout Badges to prove it.
I have tinkered with "Humor fonts" to help you know. I'd say I'm going for laughs about 80% of the time. This is in the %80 category with a sprinkle of %20. I can't be a serious clown without having some core of essential humanity.
I think you missed my point. You didn’t think I was serious did you?
Kudos, @McD, you have reinstated the completely pointless thread which heretofore I was the champion of. You will get my thorny crown via snail mail (it was a bitch packing it in bubble wrap).
You have also managed to get a lot of unwarranted compliments and thrown cold dishwater in the faces of your pursuers at the same time. No mean meaningless feat. I want to think I am the most trusted person in your life, at least when it comes to the humor font, but it’s probably your dog who can’t refuse you anything.
@McD just don't care about other peoples opinions about you, their opinions/reactions are always about them, about their subjective perceiving of world around them... be yourself, never try to change based on other people expectations, it leads just to frustration.
my approach is "if you can't stand my kind of humor, it's your problem not mine. Deal with it, don't bother me to solve issues in your head". Mean ? Probably. Do i care ? Nope. Life is too short to live based on other people expectations and opinions.
hint: i LOVE sarcasm, irony and very very dark politically incorrect humor. I'm glad i live in country where such kind of humor is socially totally accepted (or even preferred
))
In my Stable management experience... Sometimes Large herds of 50+ Animals.
It requires discovering the temperaments and proclivities of each individual Horse, then creating a herd management routine where a large component is, just keeping the Horses from getting injured.
Many "Performance Horses" are bred to have a temperament of (what we call in the industry) as "Hot Blooded".
A Thoroughbred race horse is the ultimate example of a very Hot blooded horse. What makes a horse "Hot", is breading to a accentuate the behavioral characteristic of "Flight", in what most have heard of called the "flight or fight response" in general animal behavior.
For hundreds of years horse breeder have used the terms... "Cold bloods", referring to large calm Draft Horse suitable for pulling plows, and being carriage horses.
"Warmbloods" are breeds that have been derived (sometimes through centuries of breading), by mixing Hot Blooded Animals with Cold Blooded ones.
A few examples of some famous warmblood breeds are:
Hanoverians (from Germany)
Holsteiners (from Germany)
Oldenburg (from Germany)
The Dutch Warmblood
Swedish Warmblood
Trakhener (Historic East Prussia)
Andalusians (Spain)
The primary historic use of Warmblood horses was for Cavalry in militaries. These were the War Horses of the past.
Many of these old equine bloodlines had almost gone extinct, primarily due to the the two World Wars in the last century. As result, many breeders in the past century have worked with the animals that remained, and introduced new bloodlines from the Thoroughbred and Cold blooded draft horses, to bring these breeds back.
Many breeders also "creatively" bred Thoroughbred with Draft horses to develop what are commonly known as "Draft Crosses".
The importance of all this information relative to equine management, revolves around the types of behavioral characteristic that have arose because of all this recent mixing of bloodlines in only relatively recent times (historically).
Many of the horses I have to manage are basically huge extremely powerful and muscular animals that have had the "Flightily" minds of Thoroughbred installed by breading for high energy sport horses that love to run, but also have heavier bodies from their draft horse genes, that make these Animals competitive in professional equine sporting events.
The management problem, is that a horse with the power of a draft horse, combined with the smaller bone structure and flighty mind of the Thoroughbred. Often Results in Animals that are Bat-Shit-Crazy, and are extremely talented in the art of self-injury.
Thus, the managers task is one of constantly observing the behavioral tendencies of every animal under care, and coming up with clever ways to keep these insane horses form killing themselves when the wind blows in just the right direction and causes a tree branch to snap and fall in the pasture, or any other ridiculous little thing that can set these animals off and galloping around like maniacs.
Mostly we try to pair level headed very calm horses with the crazier animals, the calm horses tend to keep the more "spirited" horses grounded (literally). So when a Heron (bird) flies over the pasture, the flighty horse goes into panic mode, but then instantly sees that his calm "pasture pal" could care less about the bird, And that is one way to prevent the spirited horse from running.
We also use small paddocks (small pens that are not large enough for a horse to run in), And many other management techniques, including what we call "rotation turnout" (putting out one group of horses that get along for half the day while the other group stays in the barn. Then bringing in the first group and putting out the next.
The real fun starts when horses go on the road to shows, or are sold and leave the barn, and the whole system need to be re-adjusted for the horses that are in the barn at any one time.
New horses have to be evaluated before they can be properly buddied up. Some horse don't get along with any other horses, and need to be kept in a separate pasture.
Same with god damn people. It’s like we’re animals or something.
Basically, we are :-) We just have a little bit more evolved frontal cortex but rest is old good plain animal :-))) To eat, fuck and win competition is our primary goal. Just, thanks to advanced frontal corex, we tend to cover those 3 activities with lot of sophisticated "blah blah blah", to look like we are something more than just animals.
That's great question. I was fishing for clues... I deal with this a lot.
Without context no one can tell. That ambiguity just kills the jokes.
That's one of the reasons I want a humor font. So that before you get the pay off
you're hoping for something to tickle you. Of course there are subtle forms of deadpan humor that can only be detected if you know the person is mining for laughs.
Anyway, it's often a thankless effort online but there are bloggers and such that can
cultivate an audience and just kill with their prose efforts. People like Dave Barry and
other impressive talents. But like any art it must be practiced.
Thanks asking. I'll start making a list of people here that are not humorless.
I had a serious conflict with @wingwizard over some issue with an app and we eventually
realized we had more in common and could easily find common ground. In that situation
I was being a bit of a scold so there wasn't anything fun about my position. We ended the exchange with some off the walls humorous exchanges.
Plain text that's written without the right signals can quickly create havoc. I even had a throw down with the @LinearLineman once before I realized he was yanking my chain and not looking for an argument. ("I've come for an argument", "No you haven't" - Monty Python).
That was an exceptional piece of writing. Thank you for making the effort to share your special knowledge. It is going to be buried in one of my off the wall OT creations and
only my true fans and detractors will ever see it.
There are many that simply can't handle me for creating long postings and
TL;DR is usually how they explain the they are here to get tips and don't need me to waste their time checking out if I might say something useful to them. Because, I try to do that as well.
Please feel free to keep documenting your life and what your have learned about the world and it's wonders. I will appreciate any OT creations of this quality.
It's so good to read someone that can express themself with such clarity and purpose.
Especially when they had a day job that gave their life a special quality.
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." - Henry David Thoreau.
Your career sounds very fulfilling and deliberate.
I think in my lifetime we have re-programmed the human mind with these electronic devices
using stimulus/respone patterns that have interrupted the eat, fuck, win goals. That and ready access to porn. Most have lost the mental capacity to read long form fiction and maintain attention. They must stop and check their email, texts, forums or twitter streams.
This has led to increased levels of neural overload and reduced productivity: an overclocked brain effectively.
NOTE: Brain Overclocking may void all warrantees.
Opinions are like nipples, everyone has them!
I rather see issues with people who say that than issues with your behavior.
I can only be a subjective judge but if people got offended, they most likely didn't get the reasoning behind your choice of words and language.
You do take care about individual personalities and I have the impression that you do your best to talk to certain guys in a way they're able to take and digest well, a good example is your communication with our friend @LinearLineman 😁
I wish the offended could learn to ignore what they don't understand.
I thought that’s what Comic Sans was for? Oh, wait, it means ”without comedy”, so I should start taking things written in comic sans seriously… and those government agencies weren’t kidding, that actually explains a lot.
Unless the name was sarcasm… 🤨 we also need a Sarcasm Sans font.
This is unfortunate and heartbreaking
We are all kinds here and the everpresent undercurrent to push the forum in one direction or t’other will never go away, as I have observed, for almost two years now. Unlike those Jews with dietary restrictions I prefer some ice cream after a steak dinner. The forum becomes a boring place when it’s all nuts and bolts (for me). It has shifted that way over the last six months or so. So a thread like this makes the place more fun for me as it is a futile attempt to carve meaning out the cadaver of chaos (not referring to the tech here, but the philosophies and POVs that erupt here from time to time). McD thinks, as a reasonable man would, that reason can win the day. I disagree. Otherwise the expression “Going to hell in a handcart” would never have mutated to ”Going to hell in a hand basket” which is totally absurd but accepted without a second thought (at least for those who have heard the expression in the first place. And as it goes with expressions so it goes with us. We start with a reasonable assumption, for example, that life is valued and should be preserved. Then,thru the mixmaster of the human mind, it transmogrifies into something that puts otherwise decent folks at each others’ throats. It is simply the mental entropy we cannot escape on this heavenly hell of a planet.
The thing about @McD (as compared to me) is that he brings tremendous musical knowledge to his oft inscrutable (I find them scrutable) and wily solipsistic humor. @horsetrainer might find it interesting to know McD was raised by feral horses in the outskirts of Cleveland. His mother calm, his father flighty, McD is in constant disarray re fighting or flighting. I am glad he is choosing the fight this time... still, he could bolt at any second. Keep downing those meds, McD!
Thank you for representing the elderly in this discussion. I do have a question for those with declining
mental capacity. Is there an app that will convert transparent writing into this impenetrable level of
esoteric opacity. An opacity knob would be great. It makes me mad that Mozaic won't process text so we could write "Comment Bots" in the style of the @LinearLineman.
I'm not discounting the widely held view that the @LinearLineman is bot a text both and a musical bot. Some people are saying he might even be sex bot. Some people. Perfectly
sensible people. So, where there's smoke... inhale. It could be pot.
Example of my intended App:
I need a developer to productize this idea. My kingdom for a developer!
NOTE: I wish @LinearLineman has avoid bring religion and dietary restrictions into the discussion.
As a moderator he should not throw stink bombs into an already tense discussion. But I do appreciate the attempt to make this OT thread go "nukular". I'm glad he didn't touch the heated Aluminum vs Aluminum or color vs colour Debates.
W.r.t. to vitality: This could be the "Best OT thread ever!!!" or not. I'm going to change the Topic to:
OT: Drambo discovered to be a Ponzi Scheme. Conspirators confess "Flake News"
Blatant attempt to ride the coat tails of a talented developer that is tilting at windmills and
reporting starting to win more than he looses: The "Impossible Dream" workflow.