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Song Of The Month Club - May 2020

What is the Song of the Month Club?

It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.

The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.

The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.

All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.

We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material

And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine

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Comments

  • My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler:

    Can you hear the wind
    Whisper in your ear?
    See the flying bird
    Before it disappears

    The wind blows through the fences
    It’s whispering your name
    You raise up your defenses
    But it hits you all the same

    Living in a silent time
    A world that's drifting out of line
    Silently
    The world is quiet and empty

    A shadow in the rain
    Seems to disappear
    Shapeless once again
    Formless and unclear

    The rain beats on the concrete
    Cold as old remains
    The grey and dirty side street
    The old abandonned lanes

    Living in a silent time
    A world that's drifting out of line
    Silently
    The world is quiet and empty

  • edited May 2020

    @richardyot said:
    My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler:

    Can you hear the wind
    Whisper in your ear?
    See the flying bird
    Before it disappears

    The wind blows through the fences
    It’s whispering your name
    You raise up your defenses
    But it hits you all the same

    Living in a silent time
    A world that's drifting out of line
    Silently
    The world is quiet and empty

    A shadow in the rain
    Seems to disappear
    Shapeless once again
    Formless and unclear

    The rain beats on the concrete
    Cold as old remains
    The grey and dirty side street
    The old abandonned lanes

    Living in a silent time
    A world that's drifting out of line
    Silently
    The world is quiet and empty

    I like the Chorus and the Depeche-Modey synth after the chorus. Will listen again later; It deserves a few listens before I can be confident with any more comments than that :-)

    I think it works well as a song overall, and I like the chorus and bridge but find the verse doesn't match the quality of the other sections. I'm not sure the drums suit the vocal in that section (they work well in the other bits of the song) -- in the verse they sound a bit too busy and like they're trying to rush the vocal along.

    But clearly a high standard has been set, as per usual :-)

  • edited May 2020

    Edit:

    Remixed louder version:


  • Made on IMPC and filtered through Eventides Micropitch via AUM...don’t forget to click high quality in the settings menu of AUM...☠️

  • Hello,

    Here is our new track :)
    https://www.kissmee.fr/tracks/rougeglamour-newyorkheat

    Almost no iPad here, just for the mastering...

  • Love dat vibrafunk...

  • @klownshed said:

    The main riff is great, and I like the background sounds as well, it's got a driving groove and some interesting variation in the arrangement. The only crit I would make is that it could do with a bit more variety and evolution, but overall it's very enjoyable.

  • Thought I would give the Launchpad app another try to see if I could come up with something interesting.

    My results with Launchpad have been hit or miss, but I'm pretty happy with this one.

  • @DavidEnglish said:
    Thought I would give the Launchpad app another try to see if I could come up with something interesting.

    My results with Launchpad have been hit or miss, but I'm pretty happy with this one.

    The sound quality is crisp...🥂

  • @baudious said:

    @DavidEnglish said:
    Thought I would give the Launchpad app another try to see if I could come up with something interesting.

    My results with Launchpad have been hit or miss, but I'm pretty happy with this one.

    The sound quality is crisp...🥂

    I exported it into the Lurssen Mastering Console app to give it a quick touch-up. That significantly improved the overall sound.

  • Going insane with work and connection problems but while I can take a gasp of air just wanted to get this here.... I will be back to listen to everyone's and post feedback scout's honor!

  • @iammane said:
    Going insane with work and connection problems but while I can take a gasp of air just wanted to get this here.... I will be back to listen to everyone's and post feedback scout's honor!

    Nice mellow mix of harmonies and delay...🎤

  • @richardyot Really enjoyed, vocals great, it's so nice to hear stuff with vocals and it's something I wish I had the space and balls to do. The groove is great, overall vibe is something I can groove to no problem :)

    @klownshed Such a strong start! When the everything dropped out to the piano and then the synth and choir came in that was really cool. Good juxtaposition!

    @baudious I love the industrial vibe, interesting way to post the song did you load it in AUM and screen record it? The title is aptly named too lol :D

  • @crony Niiice! Such funk! Would love to know more about the process, and it's fascinating to me you used the iPad to master but not in any of the production?! That's like a total reversal from what I'd expect!

    @DavidEnglish I've always wanted to try to complete something in just Launchpad but it's impossssible lol.... I always end up screwing something up, the performance aspect of it gets me all nerved up. I like this a lot, it's such an interesting mashup of different elements that come together to make a nice cohesive whole. You did a good job mangling up these samples, because I keep getting hints of things I recognize but they are stretched and skewed to the point of not being at all like their original source :)

  • edited May 2020

    @iammane said:
    @richardyot Really enjoyed, vocals great, it's so nice to hear stuff with vocals and it's something I wish I had the space and balls to do. The groove is great, overall vibe is something I can groove to no problem :)

    @klownshed Such a strong start! When the everything dropped out to the piano and then the synth and choir came in that was really cool. Good juxtaposition!

    @baudious I love the industrial vibe, interesting way to post the song did you load it in AUM and screen record it? The title is aptly named too lol :D

    That’s exactly what I did...🥁 Thank u for the nice words...I already have next months contribution ready...

  • @iammane said:
    Going insane with work and connection problems but while I can take a gasp of air just wanted to get this here.... I will be back to listen to everyone's and post feedback scout's honor!

    The glitchy guitar at the start is great, and I like the overall mellow vibe as well. Lovely vocal samples, some great emotive and well sung vocals that really help to give the track a lift.

    Production is solid, everything fits together nicely.

  • This month CAAt Claw joins me again

    English lyrics by Google

    Impatience
    How much time have I spent?
    How much time have I spent?
    How long ?
    How long ?
    To wait for time to pass
    Let it slip away
    Hourglass sand
    See it flow slowly
    Too slow and too slow
    This throbbing boredom ...
    This throbbing boredom
    Moments without a mobile
    Languid impatience
    Motionless moments
    This broken time that will have to be returned
    One day, one day
    This time passed
    So long to wait
    Lost…
    Forever… always
    How long have i spent
    To wait for time to pass
    To let it slip away
    Hourglass sand
    See it flow slowly
    Too slow, too slow
    He passed slowly
    Too tired and too slow
    This throbbing boredom
    Moments without a mobile
    Languid impatience
    Motionless moments
    This broken time that will have to be returned

    French Lyrics by CAAt Claw

    Impatience
    Combien de temps ai-je passé ?

    Combien de temps ai-je passé ?

    Combien de temps ?

    Combien de temps ?

    À attendre que le temps passe

    Le laisser filer

    Le sable du sablier... 
Le voir couler lentement

    Trop lent et trop lent
    Cet ennui lancinant… Cet ennui lancinant

    Des moments sans mobile
    
Impatience alanguie

    Des instants immobiles
    
Ce temps cassé qu'il faudra rendre

    Un jour, un jour

    Ce temps passé
    Tant de temps à attendre

    Perdu…

    Pour toujours… toujours

    Combien de temps ai-je passé

    À attendre que le temps passe

    À Le laisser filer
    
Le sable du sablier

    Le voir couler lentement
    Trop lent, trop lent

    Il passait doucement
    
Trop lasse et trop lent

    Cet ennui lancinant

    Des moments sans mobile
    
Impatience alanguie
    
Des instants immobiles

    Ce temps cassé qu'il faudra rendre

  • edited May 2020

    Looking forward to listening to all these! There's already so many and the month just started. I love the creativity and the wildly different styles that live in this thread by the end of the month.

    For the first time in a long time, I believe I'll be able to participate two months in a row! This time I went all-in and unleashed my inner late-90s electro-industrial core rather than stifling it. Maybe a bit FLA-ish instrumental in style. The track is already produced, but I'm a nitpicky bastard so it'll take me a few weeks to mix/master it.

  • @iammane said:
    @crony Niiice! Such funk! Would love to know more about the process, and it's fascinating to me you used the iPad to master but not in any of the production?! That's like a total reversal from what I'd expect!

    @DavidEnglish I've always wanted to try to complete something in just Launchpad but it's impossssible lol.... I always end up screwing something up, the performance aspect of it gets me all nerved up. I like this a lot, it's such an interesting mashup of different elements that come together to make a nice cohesive whole. You did a good job mangling up these samples, because I keep getting hints of things I recognize but they are stretched and skewed to the point of not being at all like their original source :)

    @vitocorleone123 said:
    Looking forward to listening to all these! There's already so many and the month just started. I love the creativity and the wildly different styles that live in this thread by the end of the month.

    For the first time in a long time, I believe I'll be able to participate two months in a row! This time I went all-in and unleashed my inner late-90s electro-industrial core rather than stifling it. Maybe a bit FLA-ish instrumental in style. The track is already produced, but I'm a nitpicky bastard so it'll take me a few weeks to mix/master it.

    Let it flow...

  • @vitocorleone123 said:
    Looking forward to listening to all these! There's already so many and the month just started. I love the creativity and the wildly different styles that live in this thread by the end of the month.

    For the first time in a long time, I believe I'll be able to participate two months in a row! This time I went all-in and unleashed my inner late-90s electro-industrial core rather than stifling it. Maybe a bit FLA-ish instrumental in style. The track is already produced, but I'm a nitpicky bastard so it'll take me a few weeks to mix/master it.

    Omg FLA yessss looking forward to it. DO NOT STIFLE THE INDUSTRIAL!!!

  • edited May 2020

    @iammane said:
    Going insane with work and connection problems but while I can take a gasp of air just wanted to get this here.... I will be back to listen to everyone's and post feedback scout's honor!

    Love it all along. Production, harmonics, voice, everything's in place. +1 for the stereo pans at some points.

    About our track, in fact it was easier to finish the track with Live because it has been started (and finished) in an other studio a long time ago from a producer of our label. And at the moment, he still laughing at me with my iPads ...Anyway, he'll change, but musicians are stubborn sometimes :D
    We prepared the mix, then the iPad has been used because we needed a different studio (mine) to "cut" the process. (and also because of the pandemic...)
    Not sure if it's clear, but I really used them as a "proof of concept" and he had to admit that the iPads can be really useful...

  • @DavidEnglish said:
    Thought I would give the Launchpad app another try to see if I could come up with something interesting.

    My results with Launchpad have been hit or miss, but I'm pretty happy with this one.

    Very interesting track, really. I would have made it more "radio" as the material is super qualitative to my ears.
    Just, the launchpad mades it a bit "square" with some transitions. Final words will be for the ending: I really do hate end of tracks with fade out, and I can get why you did that with the launchpad apps, but that's also relevant about the transitions I'm talking about earlier in this post...
    But nice job, thanks for sharing !

  • @baudious said:

    Made on IMPC and filtered through Eventides Micropitch via AUM...don’t forget to click high quality in the settings menu of AUM...☠️

    Not bad at all, but to me, still some cool loops without enough structure.
    I really like the part after 4:00 which could have been here almost at the start, getting the sound around 2 or 3 mins max, with a more organized structure would give you a more efficient track...My 2 cents...

  • @crony said
    ... he had to admit that the iPads can be really useful...

    Buahahah!! Slowly converting people around to it :}

  • @richardyot Really digging this along with your last one. You have a Ghost meets Steely Dan kind of feel. Very neat. Only note here would be that I think you could increase the volume of some of your instruments when the vocals become louder. Your vocals drown out a bit of the instruments and I think it would be cool to hear something like the organ a bit more.

    @klownshed Right off the bat I’m hearing Skinny Puppy which is always an interesting sound. I like the melodic interludes. Helps break it up. As Richard said, I could do with a bit more variety, but I can’t really talk since I have issues with that as well.

    @baudious Interesting crunchiness. I like the sounds here and overall composition. I do think you could use a bit more in the center. The stereo field felt a bit wide with some empty space in the middle. A little bit in the center would help fill it out a bit.

    @crony Definitely getting a Starsky and Hutch vibe here. Fun stuff. Main critique here is that the energy is pretty constant throughout. Having a decent breakdown in one or two places with some of the instruments coming in and out would help.

    @DavidEnglish A bit abstract for my taste. The pieces are all nice in and of themselves but the general composition is not something I can personally connect with enough to comment on.

    @iammane Oh damn. I’m liking this a lot. I don’t really have any feedback. Solid work! You and @richardyot need to do something together for certain.

    @Kitusai The combination of instruments and melodies here is fantastic. Very full without being crowded. I personally would love to hear more of a bass presence, but I acknowledge that I’m a bit biased as a bassist.

  • edited May 2020

    Redacted.

  • edited May 2020

    Looking for instructions for embedding the SoundCloud of my song in the post. Never done this before.

  • Created this tonight. Looks like embedding is done for you...

    The Long Climb

    https://SoundCloud.com/motmeister/LongClimb

  • @baudious said:

    Made on IMPC and filtered through Eventides Micropitch via AUM...don’t forget to click high quality in the settings menu of AUM...☠️

    I like the sounds and some of the effects are quite cool, especially the vowel type filter towards the end but as a song it doesn't really hang together structurally.

  • @DukeWonder said:
    Finished mixing it just a moment ago. Used Tines for the first time. Also threw in FAC Phazer. Fun stuff.

    Nice French-disco kind of vibe. I like the sounds used but like most of the tracks here (including mine!) doesn't really have much structure. I was waiting for a vocal or something to break up the main loop...

    I actually tried to keep my track simple as I'm often trying to shoe-horn in too many ideas but find it much easier to keep things simple with a singer as the vocal takes all the attention and keeps things moving along. It's hard to find the balance when you're writing an instrumental as you've lived with the track long enough to hear hooks that a casual listener will never get to discover.

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