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This is an interesting Story.
Two things that help me.
I find it extremely important to keep things in perspective. No matter how bad, or rough or whatever things are, I always keep in mind one simple fact: there is always someone worse, there is always someone better. This applies to absolutely everything. We all have our own cross to bear. this doesn’t minimize one’s individual struggles, but it helps me keep my own stuff in perspective.
Another import thought that often helps… Change is the only constant in life. This applies to every thing on every single conceivable level, from the biggest to the smallest things. The expansion of the multiverse, the movement of planets, the rising of mountains as tectonic plates crash into each other, the erosion of massive rocks as waves slowly beat them into sand, to the slow growing grass, down to the cells in our bodies. Everything is always changing. So no matter how bad things might be, or might seem it will not last, it will get better.
Happy Holidays.
A very beautiful and philosophical post Chris! Thank you for this Xmas gift
It's funny how most people respond if you ask how they are. They mostly start telling about their job, how busy they are, how their kid's are doing (in the case when they do well) or what they have bought lately.
Their well-being seems to be measured by external factors, but is it truly being well?
I hear less people telling that they "enjoy" their work, how they "enjoy" their full agenda, how they enjoy being with kids or they are enjoying driving their new car.
For me:
I Enjoy having a computer to make the world a bit smaller and to learn many things. I also hate the computer and phone, because it's an addiction trap.
I enjoy having a son. It makes me proud, but I hate the routine every day and the mess a kid can make.
I enjoy having a car, but i hate to drive somewhere. I don't have a car anymore, can't bring up the costs, but i start enjoying riding bike.
What worries me the most is what the near future will bring. I see a decline in respect for each other and their way of living. I see changes in the world that's heading the wrong direction. These circumstances learned me also to enjoy the small things in live.
Some wonderful comments and insights here. @ruggedsmooth seems to have captured the essence of dealing nobly with adversity. Others can assess the emotional landscape from a place of calm. 100+ responded so far. Thanks for that. Here’s the screenshot. One respondent for each percentage point.
No surprises, I guess. I wonder how it would skew without the pandemic.
I chose, “good, no complaints”. It’s not that I have no complaints…. My eyes are fucked up and my partner is having significant short term memory problems with attendant emotional illness that is often aimed at me. I have to constantly remind myself, when I have the inevitable, fuck you, knee jerk reaction that it’s not personal. I have complaints, sure, it’s just that I’m not complaining about these complaints. I mean, what do I expect? It’s just life, after all. But I do understand much better now that “expectations”, along with fear, are the mind killer… or more accurately, the happiness killer. How did I get these expectations in the first place? I think we all know how it happens.
Meanwhile, I enjoy the endorphic rush from my diurnal music making. And the little things, of course. Today, in straightening a framed print of an amaryllis, I took pleasure in my ability to recognize when things are indeed straight and true. It doesn’t take much but it’s not so easy when there is constant mental or physical pain. I admire those who can keep their frame of reference when the shit is hitting the fan like some of us here.
This is a phrase that people around the world think every day when reading the news
Happy 2022 we’re all going to die
Actually I should stop saying things like that
What I really meant was “you’re all going to die”
Physically, yes, eventually.
Otherwise ... opinions vary.
I had a weird last couple weeks; it felt like an extended “come to Jesus” type experience as some people call them. I felt so unexplainably weird as it was happening, like my mind was completely reforming itself as if it got sick of waiting for me to take initiative to do it. It felt like my brain was chemically and physically rearranging itself up there.
I came out of it feeling less hopeless about myself by admitting that I failed in achieving the life I wanted for myself in my late teens and early 20s. I can blame it on mental and physical illness that will continue to go on plaguing me, or I can get to the simple point that I failed. I failed at being what I wanted to be in life, and that’s ok. There are plenty of others who aren’t cut out to live right. I’m not the first nor the last, and it doesn’t make me a bad person, so I don’t have to punish myself and suffer for the rest of my days.
The point is that, even though I’ve failed, I’ve still got plenty of time to find ways to help others succeed in building their lives, to help prevent them from failing. And so I came out of that weird couple of weeks feeling better going forward. I may not have ever wanted to be one of the ones things didn’t work out for, but hell, no one does. I can still be of use and not a waste to society.
Just make sure you tick the right box at the exit.
I’ve had a pretty convoluted life since the beginning. Never felt truly safe, always had to watch over my shoulder, which especially as a kid is not the best place to be and definitely imprints itself in one’s adult behaviour. I’ve been in some pretty low places in the past.
Having said that I’ve been blessed with an extremely positive attitude for which I thank the universe.
I also have music which keeps me out of trouble, and again that’s something I am grateful for. Music is my social life really, and through it I’ve met some amazing people, many of whom I can truly call brothers.
Life can throw curved balls at any point of life, I can attest to that. I’m being tried by life yet again at the moment but I’m going to pull through. I’ve been very lucky really.
Whatever you do, remember that most of it is in your head. Of course I’m aware that often that’s where the problem is. We deal with things best we can, we all make mistakes and asking for help certainly isn’t something to be ashamed of.
Stay positive.
I’m on a similar type of drug, forget the name but it ends in zumab. The last three drugs I have been on are all monoclonal antibodies. One worked well, the other two seem to have not. They mess with my muscles and nerves a lot though, and give me peripheral neuropathy. The one that worked was Pembromuzulab.
They can be better ina lot of ways compared to regular chemotherapies, but also seem to be fairly random in the way they effect each person.
I’ve had every treatment, yeah they told me we don’t do radiation for blood cancers.. then next they said let’s do radiation,lol. tried high dose radiation to my whole lymph node system years ago, had some surgeries, spleen removed. Had a AUTO stem cell transplant, that didn’t work.
Thank you. I can see there are a lot of potential arrows still in the quiver.
Infusion centers are a growing sector of medical care. When I see the cost of these drugs it blows my mind. I don't know how someone without coverage could afford them and then to find out you got one that didn't move the needle... arg.
Yeah the last one I was on cost around $10,000 per dose.. this little tiny bag of liquid. It’s crazy.
I’m in Canada so it’s not as bad as down in the USA, but I still don’t get access to the “good stuff” until I’ve had all the other drugs first. I think I was the first Hodgkin’s patient to receive Pembro in Canada through the FDA. So didn’t have to pay anything.
I just found out last month this last drug doesn’t seem to be working, but doctor wants to stay on it for 6 more months and boost the dosage up a bit. Could be keeping the cancer from spreading at least.
But this is the last drug available, nothing else but back to some nasty chemos.
Tried eating the cannabis oil, all that.
I just caught my cancer too late. Early detection is key
All the stubborn men out there, listen to your bodies and go to the doctor when you are feeling unwell.
I tried to tough it out, it’s just a cold, whatever… well now I’m paying for that, lol
All the best to your wife man, msg me anytime if you have any questions
Thanks for the kind worlds everybody!
2022 let’s Get It!
👍👍
The most important / effective thread I’ve ever seen on this site, maybe any site actually.
Now that the holidays are over, it’s the most depressing week of the year, and I’ve crashed: never trust manic illusion. What seems so mind-blowing and simple to change about yourself is not. I don’t even recognize the person who wrote that stuff just a day and a half ago.
Don't be depressed - it's just another week with 7 days like any other.
If you are working, that will keep you busy. If not, then you can goof with your latest apps. Have fun!
Appreciate the sentiment, but my problems and depression aside, even as a kid this week always felt unbearably lonely, culminating in the bleakness of New Year’s Day. The hangover price you pay for being in the Christmas and family spirit all month. Some things you just can’t conquer!
Edit: I feel a lot better after a good shave. I am one finicky person that’s for sure.
That post was the only I could relate to, unfortunately without any of the ‘positives’
There is beauty in free fall
I'm the opposite - I like the slow down and quietness of the time between Xmas and NY.
My heart goes out to the more than 60% who responded that things are not great right now.
Stay strong, stay creative.
Big love 💚
How much different would it be if there was no pandemic? Part of me thinks not very much. But that could just be my pessimistic nature.
I wasn't going to mention razor blades in this thread but you opened that can of worms <------- bad taste joke. LOL.
I think it must have had a negative effect, even if just amplifying unrelated anxiety. The climate crisis has impacted mental health as well IMO. I’ve witnessed that first hand.
If you can tick all those boxes, then you have truly lived.
I haven’t slept, am a little tweaked on speed, and have smoked quite a bit of marijuana so I’m doing pretty swell as long as the shadow people don’t show up in my peripherals
I’m starting a new job, looks good, pays better and I’m certainly not gonna miss my asshole-insecure-aggressive boss. So why am I feeling like crap and have stomach cramps?. There’s a sense of uncertainty, and “danger” all around, like a constant threat. Yeah, the new job is great, but surely there’s something hidden….
Anxiety sucks. Feeling like a tiger is behind the corner 😅
BTW I think one makes way better music when feeling miserable!. Imo it’s deeper, more honest and raw, with more shades and angles.
Great thread!. Some really lovely people here and it’s nice to get to know more about the personal side and motivations. We should do one of those meetings some time. ABF-NAMM !!. 🙌
I also believe perspective is the key, but I think of ot differently. Let me contribute a terrible and shameful graphic… it’s got the x/time axis and the y/happiness axis…
In my BStheory what determines happiness or wellbeing is not how much you have, what you’ve accomplished but the current direction. Those are the red (unhappy) and green (happy) arrows.
If your wealthy, have a lovely family, great sex, etc, but you loose 10% of your income, or your child gets sick… you feel miserable. Even if on the graph it’s a peak value, it’s looking down.
If you’re alone, poor, bad health, but you suddenly get a 10% raise you’ll feel joy and wellbeing. You’re still in the shit, but you’re looking up.
So yeah, perspective.
My friend — and singer in my band — died last week.
He was one month younger than me. The band had been on hiatus since my first child was born and my studio space became a children’s bedroom!
The last time I spoke to him just before Xmas we were discussing a remix of an old song I had done. He was so enthusiastic about the idea of us making music again. We made plans.
He was one of those people that just didn’t have a bad bone in his body. He was genuinely lovely. And strange. And unique.
He will be missed. A lot.
I am generally lucky when it comes to well-being and am a reasonably balanced kid of chap. I don’t have high highs or low lows. Mr average.
This has hit me quite hard though.
So truly sorry to hear that @klownshed
Maybe do some tunes in his honor, that’s a really nice way to remember and signify a loved one.
Consider yourself hugged.