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Is your mind your biggest bill collector?

edited July 2022 in Other

This video is by the same guy who did the Wabi Sabi video (perfection is imperfection). Now he’s talking about the less you want the more you have.

Over the past twenty years I learned this the hard way. Though I was never predisposed to make a lot of money and have lots of stuff, I accidentally found myself in exactly that position. When I was 50 in 1998 I had $2,000,000, two houses, drove a Benz and an Audi (not at the same time), was high every day, and often made $10k on a daily basis. Yes, $10,000 a day.

It came from a combination of the stock market and 20-30% commissions selling commercial artwork to corporate America, often to the tune of $25,000 a day. I can brag about this without compunction for one simple reason. Today, 25 years later I am utterly broke, with virtually (lol) no possessions, and pretty happy about it. This state of mind did not come overnight and without pain. In fact, it took years and tremendous pain. Pain of self recrimination and loss. Pain of having to face friends and family no longer a gazillionairre. Pain of blowing a world I had in the palm of my hand… “I do what I want” as I once so arrogantly told a friend who couldn’t do that. And pain of feeling like I was a failure.

How I lost all that is pretty irrelevant, but let me say I lost it the same way I got it. Mostly luck. Very good luck followed by very bad luck. And both types of luck fueled by the same intelligence and decision making skills I possess today. The good luck came at a steep price. I became trapped by the self satisfied material value of myself and the anxiety of trying to hold onto it. The bad luck came with ultimate freedom, love that is falling through my fingers like sand, and acceptance and thankfulness for the fantastic rollercoaster ride during which I have experienced more than I ever would have imagined.

I had a friend I delivered newspapers with in the 70s in Manhattan. He had a business card. It said: “No aim. No game. No reasonable offer refused.” That was exactly how I have lived my life… theoretically. The problems came when I forgot that was how I was living…. when I thought I was in charge. That I could do no wrong. That I was blessed by my erstwhile Jewish god.

Indeed, I have been blessed from beginning to end. But that blessing was to have nothing, to have everything and to have nothing again. First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.

Comments

  • heshes
    edited July 2022

    That's quite a story. Thanks for telling it.

    As I've aged, past 50 and close to 60 now, I've tried to pare things down, live on less. I've done fairly well at that, but could still do much better. I would say that one of the big benefits of needing less is increased peace of mind. I basically have no worries about money, which removes one big source of anxiety/unhappiness.

    That video reminds me of an old blog post from an interesting guy, Mr. Money Mustache:

    "Luxury is Just Another Weakness"
    https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/08/29/luxury-is-just-another-weakness/

    @LinearLineman:
    ". . . that blessing was to have nothing, to have everything and to have nothing again. First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is."

    You may already be aware, but that makes me think of Hermann Hesse's novel Siddhartha. Buddhist perspective, just like the perspective in the linked video.

  • @hes, it’s been decades since I read Siddartha, but it was a wonderful read in my twenties. The ultimate “it was just a dream” tale.

  • "The things you own end up owning you". For some reason, I thought that was a Buddhist quote, but it was actually a line from Fight Club. So the credit goes to Tyler Durden (or really, Chuck Palahniuk).

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