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Brief rap I wrote about no headphone jack on newer iPads

“No Headphone Jack”
By originalDJB

No headphone jack?
Well, dang, that’s whack!

Comments

  • Well that was whiter than sour cream.
    I cringed so hard I broke my spleen.
    Ain't nothing much more I can say,
    but you rhyme like Seuss, not Dr Dre.

    😏

  • you are super lyrical, definitely spitting 🎤 some hits with those cool rhythms 🤘😎

  • @SLPGroundSoundMusic said:
    you are super lyrical, definitely spitting 🎤 some hits with those cool rhythms 🤘😎

    😂🤣🤣

  • Headphone Jack is Gone,
    Where Did It All Go Wrong?

  • Jingle jangle
    Apple’s angle
    Grows the need to buy a dongle
    Gigabytes that cost a bundle
    3 foot cables sold for hundos,

    It's my hunch that when it's done—
    Those thunderbolts will sell for zero
    Landfills full of MacBook Airs with tiny soldered drives,

    I wish I had recorded that
    But misplaced where my dongle at
    These AirPods have a latency
    That I cannot surmise,

    So I can't hear the beat to rap
    Recordings full of artifacts,
    The new OS is full of traps
    But this is no surprise...

  • quick, someone get @Telstar5 ...

  • Bad surprise, claimed obsolete
    Apple's cold heart said "delete!"
    Headphones port too heavyweight?
    My dear sound now comes too late.

  • I think I’m gonna try this out on my iPad Pro.

  • @belldu said:
    quick, someone get @Telstar5 ...

    Nah, Ksound was pretty damn good!!!

  • These lyrics kinda breached the gap between literature and music. I say they deserve a Nobel Prize!

  • edited January 2023

    Go to Apple Store to look at iPads and a Mac.
    Got an iPad then I knew I didn’t have Jack .
    Apple’s in my pocket as I buy more memory ..
    Then I saw my statement , shoulda bought a PC!!!

  • @Telstar5 said:
    Go to Apple Store to look at iPads and a Mac.
    Got an iPad then I knew I didn’t have Jack .
    Apple’s in my pocket as I buy more memory ..
    Then I saw my statement , shoulda bought a PC!!!

    Haha 👏 👏

  • Let me explain for those sitting at the back /
    Why Tim gets the flak for the lack of the jack /
    You wanna work with music apps? Just wait and see /
    The iPad's now become the King of Latency /
    Your Bluetooth headphones are not that into you /
    You can wait for that beat until your teeth are blue /
    The price is also crazy now - but that's all fine /
    The perfect time to buy generation 9

  • No Jack City

  • edited January 2023

    Talking with my bro just the other day
    He says "Jack your phone sucks - I gotta say"
    "That lame-ass Nokia is real old school"
    "You gotta have an iPhone if you want to be cool"
    So I drive to the mall In my girlfriend's car
    Sit my ass down at the Genius Bar
    Geeky dude comes out and gives me the pitch
    I say "Hey Man! - I ain't that rich"
    But I need a new phone so I whip out my wallet
    The one that says "Bad MotherF__ker" on it
    I hand him the cash and he gives me the phone
    I jump back in the car and drive my ass home
    Its an iPhone 12 and its really sick
    But damn - there ain't no power brick!
    I whip out my Beats to listen to some tunes
    Next thing I know my days in ruins
    Apple, what the hell is this hack?
    This f__king phone got no headphone jack!
    There's no jack, Jack
    There's no jack, Jack

  • Jack the weeper
    Jack the reaper

  • There once was a dumb phone design
    That had no auxiliary line
    It was bought by consumers
    Even synth dads and boomers
    Which made Apple think that was fine.

    So they made it the way for iPad
    Even though it made some of us sad
    Selling BT buds for our ear
    At +10% year o'er year...
    Not meant for musicians? TOO BAD!

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