Loopy Pro: Create music, your way.
What is Loopy Pro? — Loopy Pro is a powerful, flexible, and intuitive live looper, sampler, clip launcher and DAW for iPhone and iPad. At its core, it allows you to record and layer sounds in real-time to create complex musical arrangements. But it doesn’t stop there—Loopy Pro offers advanced tools to customize your workflow, build dynamic performance setups, and create a seamless connection between instruments, effects, and external gear.
Use it for live looping, sequencing, arranging, mixing, and much more. Whether you're a live performer, a producer, or just experimenting with sound, Loopy Pro helps you take control of your creative process.
Download on the App StoreLoopy Pro is your all-in-one musical toolkit. Try it for free today.
Dealing with grief and loss
My dad died a month ago and all I feel is sadness and loss. I’m 58. Didn’t think it would hit this hard.
Anyone gone through this? Any tips?
MODS. Can you move this to Other please.
Comments
I’m sorry for your loss
I’m your junior so I can’t say, but I know from others no matter what losing a parent at any age is hard. My aunt died a few weeks ago and thought he lived a somewhat long life I was still pretty upset. I had such a bad month that I’m close to retiring music altogether. I don’t really feel like writing and nothing is coming. I forced myself to try to write a couple of tracks, one came out alright and the other I can’t finish. Also besides my aunt other bad stuff happened this month and it’s always hard when you have a long decent streak of peace and quiet and then you get hit like a ton of bricks . It’s hard to shake so don’t expect it to be easy even at 58
Feel better
We lost our two sons in 2004. They were 11 and 15. Nothing can prepare you for that. About a week after the funeral I was feeling completely at loose ends. I got in the car and went for a drive. As I pulled up to the stoplight, I bowed my head, closed my eyes, and asked them for a sign that they still existed in some form. I was hoping that one day they would show me something. When I opened my eyes, it was 10 feet in front of me.
Talk to him. He is there. Pray to God, once in a while.
Geez Paulie
I’m sorry to hear such a tragedy. Nothing is worse, or more painful than that
In fact it is making me thank God right now that all I have are these issues and nothing like that, god forbid .
My deepest condolence and thank you for sharing Paulie, it must be hard but you definitely put what real pain and suffering is in perspective, may they both rest in eternal peace until you see them again
I was 29 when my dad passed away, and it was really hard to deal with, even though we knew in advance that he had limited time.
Music played a big part in dealing with it. I learned to play a lot of songs that made me think of him, and it helped to sit and play them.
One thing that was hard for me was really talking to people about how I felt, and I forced myself to do that, and I did feel good for being able to do that. It was surprising how many of my friends were receptive to talking with me.
It’s hard, but the important thing is finding ways to work through it and fully come to terms with it. My suggestion would be to find those things that work for you. Let yourself grieve, but find what it is that will help you move forward.
We have two teenage boys. What you describe is our worst nightmare. Not sure I could be that strong.
My dad died of Cancer when I was 37…
I’m not going to tell you any part of that is easy. I am only going to tell you what makes it better than it was for ME.
Frame of mind is important…
Would your dad want you to suffer with his ghost? I would think definitely not.
I don’t see my dads death as “a loss” anymore…instead I see the time we spent together and remember what I learned from it.
Great memories can overpower the sad reality and sometimes you must acknowledge this.
I can’t say to you “I know how you feel” I can say I relate to some things you might feel.
There are days where a sound, a smell, a memory throws me into the sea of doubts and despair…I just go somewhere peaceful to me, and organize my thoughts…remember my dad, acknowledge who he was in my life, take a deep breath and go forward.
Perception is everything…
It’s never what is happening to you, it’s how you perceive its effects.
I really hope this inspires you to find your own way through and I am sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. My grands died 2 years ago this month. She was my best friend and raised from a baby so really she was more my mom than anything. It’s hard. Really hard. And to be honest, I’m not sure what I did to get through it. Cried a lot. Spend a lot of time with close family. Talked to whoever would listen, and then just kind of went on with life as best I could. It’s does get easier. That’s a cliche thing to say but it’s a cliche for a reason. Hang in there! And if you ever need to talk, you’re more than welcome to send me a PM.
I was alone with my father in the hospital when, aged 52, he had his second, and final, heart attack in two days. He didn’t like me and I didn’t like him. But as they rushed him out of the ward to intensive care, his eyes locked with mine. A look of total stark, abject terror and hopelessness. The human animal that we all are in extremis, terrified. He was dead within ten minutes.
I have never forgotten that look of literally mortal fear.
And even though I did not care for him, nor he me, when they came to take me to him, or rather, to his corpse, and I saw him unequivocally dead, just still, slack meat on a table, void of all animation, the first death I had ever experienced directly; even as the cool, rational part of my mind was thinking that, as it was only the first day of a Bank Holiday, the holiday wouldn’t be entirely wasted hanging round the hospital on this boring, dutiful deathwatch any more, my body, my own physical animal self, to my mind’s shocked surprise, convulsed in completely abandoned, purely physical, howling grief. The disconnect was so profound it was almost an out of body experience.
There is no right way to do death, or to witness it. Everyone discovers themselves in that moment, one way or another. And then the dying die, and the living go on, until it is their turn.
If we are lucky, with time we accommodate the iron truth of it, in some way. It’s the best we can hope for.
Since then, of course, I have lost others, friends I loved, and the pain, the emotional hurt, and the sweet sad recall of the dead person when some objective event triggers a memory of them was both worse, and better, than my memories of my fathers’ death.
But never, to date anyway, have I again experienced that visceral, animalistic gut-punch grief.
I wonder if, when my death comes, will I have time to see it approach, as he did? Will I fear it, as he did?
His final stare haunts me.
A lesson my father taught me. But I don’t know what it means.
Life, huh?
I am sorry, @cyberheater, for the sadness and loss you are currently experiencing. It will not pass, nor, quite possibly, will you want it to. But chances are good that it will modulate into something else. The moments when you are caught up in the daily matter of life lengthening again, the moments of sadness and loss returning less frequently, but no less strongly; sometimes in laughter, sometimes in sadness. And if you are fortunate enough, as it sounds you are, to have liked, or maybe even loved your father, those recurring moments of grief will be his last bittersweet gift to you. To be cherished. He had a child who loved him.
It's a difficult thing that may be present and real for you for a month, a year or a lifetime. I've been there and I'll be there again, so I get it. Your age when you lose someone close makes no difference, because we all become children again in the face of tragedy. Talk to someone you know, maybe even someone you don't know. I didn't know how to deal with it when I experienced it until I learned to get it out in the open and just face it.
I have felt that once at the age of 22 when my brother died suddenly. It felt like a large part of who I was had been forcibly and unfairly taken from me, and that there was a gaping emotional hole that I knew I would never be able to fill. I felt heartache as a real, physical pain in my chest, and I was lost and directionless.
When something hits you that hard something is going to happen - either working to rebuild your life around the positive things that remain in your life or let the darker side in. Unfortunately I took the latter path and indulged in a lot of destructive behavior. Probably the worst mistake I made is not letting people help me.
Letting people into your life and opening up to them when you are grieving is important. It’s amazing how many people are willing to be there for you, and help and comfort can come from the most unexpected places.
A month is still very recent.
No tips for you except that the pain will ease over time.
Sorry for your loss @cyberheater .
Lost my dad this summer and even with full warning nothing can prepare one for the shock of it.
Wishing you strength and healing.
It’s different for everybody of course, but for me, I think of my father’s death as being the last great lesson he ever taught me, which was how to deal with profound loss. If you’re lucky enough to live a long life yourself, it’s a lesson you’ll put to good use.
Sorry to hear @cyberheater, yes it can be very very very hard. I guess there are a few things that come to mind:
Lean into your beliefs. If you are an atheist, remind yourself that this really doesn't matter in the end. If you are a believer, assuming you think your dad was a decent enough person and that God is good, you shouldn't mourn his passing but should instead celebrate it.
Use music. Songs like Nights that Won't Happen or I Loved Being My Mother's Son by Purple Mountains are heartbreakingly sad but sometimes that's exactly what you need to feel better when grieving. There can be a pleasure and tranquility and sublime side to grief if you look for it. Practise alchemy. How can you turn this grief coal into grief gold...
Of course, it's natural that, if we are functioning as healthy animals, we want to hold on to life and avoid death. But the human mind can be used to heighten or lessen the emotional reaction to loss.
Look after yourself physically. Eat well, sleep well. Go for walks. Resist the temptation to escape into screens, of possible. If your sleep is badly affected, consider a short term course of sleeping pills becuse temporary insomnia can easily become chronic if not nipped in the bud and the emotional and physical effects of long term insomnia are devastating.
Journal and or talk to yourself or others in a mindful ritualistic way. For example: lie down and do what you need to to center yourself physically and mentally. Breath meditation, body scanning, some kind of yogic muscle relaxation technique, or whatever. Then just allow yourself to think. Speak out loud. This is very focusing for the mind. Use your voice in a calming way, so that the act of speaking is soothing. When thoughts emerge, verbalise them. It's just like stream of consciousness Journaling but more relaxing. Basically have a relaxed conversation with yourself, a dialogue between the various parts of your mind, about how you all feel about your dad's death. Try not to be critical of some voices emerge that don't jibe with what you think you should be feeling. More relaxing means more insightful and more effective. You are building concentration and insight. Doing this regularly will help you immensely, I think, not only through this grief but through the whole journey of life. Good luck!
Even though I lost my father and oldest brother within the past four years, I’m sorry to say, I don’t know what to say. Just know I feel for you. I hope there’s been some healing since you started this thread.
Apologies if my really late reply makes your day any harder, @cyberheater. I finally learned how to permanently delete all of my unpublished drafts, so I was going through them when I came upon this one.
I’m 56, my dad died 3yrs ago during the height of the pandemic. While he didn’t die from covid, it stopped his funeral from happening till the beginning of this year. I was in the house when he died - and there was nothing either I or the paramedics could do.
I still have moments where I break down. It was bad at first but it’s gotten better. Focusing on my mom and the rest of the family helps. There’s nothing really to do but acknowledge the sadness and grief. Don’t beat yourself up for it, or think you should get past it faster… unfortunately it a process that’s different for everyone.
Be around other people. Reach out like you have here, and honor his memory by sharing it. I’ll be glad to listen anytime. It’s more than ok to be sad or even inconsolable. Much love to you @cyberheater
PS I still can’t bring myself to delete my dads voice from our phone machine, and I don’t think I ever will.