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Song Of The Month Club - October 2023
What is the Song of the Month Club?
It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.
The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.
The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.
All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.
We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material
And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine.
Comments
My entry this month is an updated version of the post-rock instrumental that I posted in creations a few weeks ago, with vocals added to turn it into a more conventional song.
I actually prefer the original instrumental version, there's something quite epic about it that got lost with the addition of vocals.
Lyrics in the spoiler.
The lies
You know you’re wrong to believe
You’re strung along so naive
You let the grifters deceive you
I hope
You’re trying
to cope
His lying
Is nothing that you should ever want to believe
Words come to the fore
You love the lies you beg for more
Take them
As you fall
There’s nothing left worth fighting for
The words of a liar
There’s something wrong, there’s something wrong
The world is on fire
It’s too late to see
The con will backfire
Before too long, before too long
So cut through the wire
And set yourself free
Now you know
There has to be
Some truth and integrity
Now you know
That what they say
Will come back to bite someday
The words of a liar
There’s something wrong, there’s something wrong
The world is on fire
It’s too late to see
The con will backfire
Before too long, before too long
So cut through the wire
And set yourself free
Here we are at the end
We fell apart at the end
There’s nothing left to defend
In the end
And for reference, this is the original instrumental version:
Here's something from my not-too-distant past.
I improvised this on an iPad using TC-Data as a MIDI front-end for Alchemy Mobile (no longer available, unfortunately). I also used Audiobus and AudioReverb with this one.
It was shot in 2014 using a Blackmagic Pocket Cinema Camera with the audio from the iPad patched directly into the camera.
It's titled Music Box #2.
@richardyot I much prefer the original version. This is a great instrumental track and I think the added voice should be more “percussive” to find its place between the other instruments. Maybe a female voice (in the style of Fiona Apple)
@DavidEnglish Lovely bells with a very good rythme. Incredible to be able to play this with one hand
Here is my entry for this month, hope someone like it
@cuscolima welcome to the club, thanks for posting 😀
Some great synth textures in your track, and the vocal is intriguing, is that you singing?
The bell-like synth is very nice, and the bass patch works very well too, and the synths overall make a great musical bed for the voice.
I think the track could use a bit more structure, the vocal would benefit from having a bit more theme and repetition for the ear to hook on to, the linear form it currently takes meanders a little too much for me.
But the performance was really interesting and I would love to hear more from you in the future.
Here is one i was messing around these days
https://ccnt.bandcamp.com/track/ap3xxx
I'll check what others did, once at home
Thanks for your feedbacks. I agree 100% with your comments about the voice. It is a synthetic voice that has been made with Pocket Singer by the way
Interesting. It might work better with just two or three phrases that repeat, just give the track a sense of structure IMO.
I like the instrumental version more, I'm not sure if it's confirmation bias but the one with the vocal doesn't sound quite as cohesive. The piano in the intro is cool and I like that it returns for the outro.
Nm
As always I admire your improvisations and I'd love to see you tackle a more traditional, structured song with some of the melodies and ideas you come up with :-)
Hi Guys.. Here's my Contributions this month.. This one is being released on Nov 3rd (I think?) on Veskler Records.. Enjoy..
Awesome mix. Really, really good. Can imagine it being very popular with people that go for this. Personally I hate it. To me it sounds like repetitive generic dance music I've heard a million times before but that's just me. If you can make a living out of this that's so awesome. To me it just has no soul but I know that's not a big thing in the right setting. Sometimes all you need is a solid beat to keep moving to. I know it's not easy to make quality music of any kind though so, well done.
At first I was watching this but after a while it was distracting my ear so I closed my eyes. I don't perceive this as a song, but it is definitely music. To me it is more like painting a picture with sound. I don't know how much effort went into creating the sound, which to me would be a major part of my decision regarding how much effort was involved. Regardless of that, the picture you painted was colorful and beautiful.
I have made a new version of my track, following @richardyot recommendations. Hope it’s better now
Thanks mate..
My entry for this month.
Lyrics in the spoiler
LORELEI'S LULLABY
Riding all night into a sandstorm
Looking for a needle in a haystack
She left in the morning without a sign
But I remember the things we did all night.
Chorus:
Ride, ride, ride till the kiss of dawn
Ride ride ride till the tremor is gone
Ride, ride, ride till the kiss of dawn
I found myself a new home in her arms
I got a nickel in my pocket
Not enough to quench my thirst
Yeah got a nickel in my hand
And this old house to burn
Son, tell your Mama I'm long gone
And I am not coming back
Yeah tell your Mama I'm long gone
For I was lost but found the right track
Chorus
I Hear her voice so clear
Her lullaby in my head
I Hear her voice so clear
Guiding me through the desperate land
Chorus
Here you are, sweet baby
On your bed of thorns
Yeah I found you little baby
And now I hear you cracking my bones
Put me to sleep my pretty little baby
Put me to sleep
With your heady lullaby
Put me to sleep my pretty little baby
Now I know why they call you Lorelei
Die die die by the crack of dawn
Die die die tomorrow I'll be gone
Die die die by the crack of dawn
I found myself a grave in her arms
Yeah I found myself a tombstone in her arms.
More details about the track in its original thread:
https://forum.audiob.us/discussion/57534/lorelei-s-lullaby-dark-edgy-bluesy-collab-with-cthonicist-svetlovska/p1
Here's Mine:
Cool track. A touch of the Foos about it.
I like the guitars and vocals. Top notch. For my taste I’d like the drums to be less polite and more in your face and trashier, at least in certain points of the song. But yeah good stuff. :-)
Nicely produced slab of what sounds to my untrained ear as classic house music?
Saying that I’m not up date on genres would be an understatement but this sounds like the 90s to me. In a good way.
Thanks mate.. Well your right in a way?.. It still similar to the classic House genre.. I am from the old school camp, when it House Music first came out in the late 80's.. My first record I bought was Marshall Jefferson ''Move Your Body''.. So I am an old git?..
But I'm known in the underground music scene, as a ''Soulful House'' producer.. I did try different styles, but people went, ''Hey Brother!.. This is not Soulful House, Its EDM!'' (Not with this track though, or my other tracks).. But when I talk to the Record Label, they say stick with Soulful, as it generates better monies?.. So that's what I do really?.. Or Remix other peoples work in the same way in this style?... It seem people prefer Soulful, though it is in a small group, but it earns some pennies to buy more Vst, or towards music equipment?..
I'm amazed I'm even close! I'm not even close to understanding all the different genres and sub-genres.
I don't even know what genre my stuff might be! Literally no idea!
And I'm even further away from ever being signed, so having records actually released is very cool...
Sorry I haven't had a chance to get to this sooner, my life is currently quite chaotic as we are in the middle of building work on our house, so it's really hard to find a quiet moment to listen to submissions.
But as you can see I've had this tab open on my screen for days, since I still have the original post from last Wednesday (I hope you don't mind me quoting the original text, I thought it was interesting and I love the backstory to the track)
The vocal sounds terrific to my ears, and there's no sense that it was recorded in sub-optimal conditions. Great melody and lyrics, and great performance.
The synth and orchestral sounds are great, and the arrangement make it sound really epic, I love the huge sound the production has. The drums are perfect and I couldn't imagine the track without them.
The strings and orchesttral instruments really take the track to another level. It's genre-defying, in the best possible way. But even with the big orchestral sounds there are still moments of subtlety, with the piano lines adding some delicacy at times.
Beautiful sounds, and TC-Data is the perfect vehicle for this kind of improv. Like snow falling on a winter morning.
Nicely arranged buildup, from the gentle intro to the very busy ending.
A lot going on here: busy percussion, synth textures, the melodies in the second part, and the bass line that holds it all together. Lots of layers pasted together but it still holds together. It's definitely more textural than melodic, but it works.
Extremely polished production, it sounds like a major-label release
Excellent vocal performance, and the guitar playing is really tight and well-performed. The mix is outstanding, a lot of skill has gone into this production. Very nicely done.
It's definitely better, and much more focused. The strange language of the vocal has a touch of the Elizabeth Frazer to it, recorded from somewhere in the Uncanny Valley.
Amazing interpretation of the original inspiration, with an incredible dark vocal that perfectly suits the material. I love the melody, I love the guitars, and the whole arrangement. Excellent work.
Of course no problem. I only took the original post down as I wanted to replace the mix I’d uploaded to SoundCloud — there was a mistake literally nobody would have noticed but I knew it was there ;-)
It took me a couple of days before I had time to re-upload a new mix. 10 revisions later…
Thank you :-)
Thanks for that. I only hear the imperfections. The less I hear the better I feel about it. Great to have other perspectives.