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Last piece of 2023: the disappearance of the Sun

jo92346jo92346
in Creations & Collaborations

The project is finished. I merged the two final pieces in a single one because it made more sense, even the half tone key change sounds ok in there.

So, this is it for 2023.

https://josephbalson.bandcamp.com/track/the-disappearance-of-the-sun

As much as my ego loves the praises, it doesn’t help improving my work : if anyone is willing to listen to the whole thing and give me an unfiltered opinion before I make the final adjustments next year, be welcome and hit me hard: tell me all that is wrong so I can try and fix it:
https://josephbalson.bandcamp.com/album/dreams-of-a-distant-sun

Comments

  • HotStrangeHotStrange

    Music and video for perfectly! Very Medieval 🏰 or even Middle Earth sounding

  • jo92346jo92346

    Thanks @HotStrange

  • PaulieworldPaulieworld

    I think a big-ass choir would sound cool. Just a thought. Happy New Year!

  • PxlhgPxlhg

    Like the video as well as the soundtrack.
    I don't feel Im'm in any position to criticise but I've been thinking about this issue too: that there's seldom a pointer or a suggestion. We're simply too nice to each other for our own good.😂

  • Mountain_HamletMountain_Hamlet

    On first listen it all sounds good as far as arrangement goes. I will give it another listen when my ears have rested as I've been working on some other stuff today. Do you want commentary about the mix balance? I think the parts are working well, but I think I can go in a bit on the mix if this is want you want to hear more about.

  • jo92346jo92346
    edited December 2023

    Thanks guys.
    @Paulieworld I don’t have made a convincing massive choir patch on the iPad (yet). When it will be done, like the cello, I’ll work on a project centered around the choir.

    @Pxlhg Im totally sure you can criticize: you have good ears, you make good music, therefore you have certainly an opinion about what could be made better or improved :smile:
    I would not personally point out all I find wrong in other people’s creations here except some obvious pointers when I know the person won’t take wrong an unsolicited advice that could be perceived as negative. I just don’t want to sound mean even if the intent isn’t mean. We could start a thread or something where people who wan5 that kind of feedback could get it?

    @Mountain_Hamlet I would be grateful for any advice… laugh but I don’t really mix… I make a general level balance and position the instruments in the stereo space at the beginning of a project and then the mix is just me playing each part soft or loud… I know for sure I have a bad tendency to use too much reverb.

  • MadeofWaxMadeofWax
    edited December 2023

    If someone held a gun to my head and said “ you have to find something wrong with this” I’d be in bad shape. The only thing I might do differently is raising the volume on the intro more slowly but even that is just an artistic choice, not necessarily a flaw.
    I think you’ve done a great job of telling a story here. I felt like the ending was particularly strong. I’d be proud of it

  • michael_mmichael_m

    Overall I think it’s a great piece and hard to criticize. The only things I would suggest are maybe push the snare volume a tiny bit in some places where it’s a little quiet in the mix, and maybe just in general push the level of the toms that occur in the later stages as they would have more impact if they cut through more.

  • jo92346jo92346

    Thank you @MadeofWax @michael_m, I will work those points.

  • LinearLinemanLinearLineman

    No critique here, Joseph. Check out Scott Van Zander on SoundCloud. He’s a real iOS master and this track reminded me of his stuff. Happy New Year, bro.

  • AlterEgo_UKAlterEgo_UK

    Very impressive music and arrangement. I agree with the point made about the initial dynamics that could be a bit smoother (the mix sounded very loud when it built up compared to what I had just been listening to!). The snare too was a little quiet in places. But others have already made those suggestions and I really don't have anything else! Love the artwork as well - suitable gloomy and apocalyptic!

  • LuxthorLuxthor

    This piece is one of the best work from you, thats that. I enjoyed it all the way through, and I could write an entire essay about my experience. 🤩

    Now, from the pure technical observations you asked for and from what is possible to notice over YouTube's harsh compression:

    • from start to the 0:30 second mark, atmospheric hum (bass strings?), it’s fantastic regarding composition, but it’s slightly more noticeable, at least for me. ;)
    • 0:46–0:51, 1:42–1:57 bass drums tail, an unnatural shape is not a problem, but that tail is eating up everything else on the spectrum and should be tamed in the mix. Dynamic EQing in a few places would be enough.
    • 1:22–1:33 high pitching and unwanted resonances.
    • 3:41 start of the next section (tremolo strings); it’s not smooth enough. It sounds like a rough mix instead of grandiose like everything else. Does this need to be with more volume or less volume, with less instruments or with more instruments, or some combination of everything only you could tell? It’s about that volume ramp, not about composition itself.
    • 5:28–5:29 rough drop in volume.

    Over all, imho bass frequencies should be tamed. I’ve listened on Adam A7X monitors, their lowest reach is around 40 Hz. majority of listeners will never notice.

    That's all from the initial listening in the 30-minute session. You know it would be much better if we sat in the studio and talked about every detail while drinking some of the finest hot beverages and admiring your fantastic piece, but yeah…

  • jo92346jo92346

    Thank you @LinearLineman @AlterEgo_UK

    @Luxthor thanks for the details. I’m already on it.

  • jo92346jo92346
    edited December 2023

    @Luxthor said:

    • from start to the 0:30 second mark, atmospheric hum (bass strings?), it’s fantastic regarding composition, but it’s slightly more noticeable, at least for me. ;)

    That is a weird pad I made from me humming. Had hard time including it in the mix. I cut one bass out of it.

    • 0:46–0:51, 1:42–1:57 bass drums tail, an unnatural shape is not a problem, but that tail is eating up everything else on the spectrum and should be tamed in the mix. Dynamic EQing in a few places would be enough.

    I’m afraid that is beyond my skills, so I adjusted the reverb globally for those, and replayed them with a different dynamic.

    • 1:22–1:33 high pitching and unwanted resonances.

    These are my crazy violins. I think I managed to make them less aggressive.

    • 3:41 start of the next section (tremolo strings); it’s not smooth enough. It sounds like a rough mix instead of grandiose like everything else. Does this need to be with more volume or less volume, with less instruments or with more instruments, or some combination of everything only you could tell? It’s about that volume ramp, not about composition itself.

    You’re spot on here again. I changed the whole transition, and I think it is much better now.

    • 5:28–5:29 rough drop in volume.

    Ouch, that one I didn’t even notice!

    Over all, imho bass frequencies should be tamed. I’ve listened on Adam A7X monitors, their lowest reach is around 40 Hz. majority of listeners will never notice.

    I tried doing that. Hope I was successful.

    That's all from the initial listening in the 30-minute session. You know it would be much better if we sat in the studio and talked about every detail while drinking some of the finest hot beverages and admiring your fantastic piece, but yeah…

    Well, I travel a lot, so the hot beverages in Croatia are not a total impossibility.

  • jo92346jo92346
    edited December 2023

    Updated version on bandcamp https://josephbalson.bandcamp.com/track/the-disappearance-of-the-sun

    I might have created more issues .

  • LuxthorLuxthor

    @jo92346 said:
    Updated version on bandcamp https://josephbalson.bandcamp.com/track/the-disappearance-of-the-sun

    I might have created more issues .

    Everything is better, you are a freaking genius, haha. You even changed the composition.

    In technical detail, when we need to push a few dB up or down on a certain section, we should listen to the same speakers for the start, so it’s really hard to follow any instructions.

    The only thing I noticed on the new take was the bass strings at the beginning, I should have been more specific earlier. Because an old introduction is more dramatic than a new one. If you could tame only a specific section around 0:18–0:19 (on YouTube version) when bass strings feel transformed to the hum, it was a small detail.

    Anyway, I wish you happy holidays and all the best in the new year! Cheers! 🤩 🍾🥂

    P.S. The summer is the best time to visit Croatia. Choose Istra, it’s like Tuscany with a crystal-clear Adriatic sea. There is plenty of good food and the finest beverages. ;)

  • jo92346jo92346

    Thanks @Luxthor I’m gonna start working on the rest of that album.

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