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Comments
When the drums came in, I expected the vocals to became more violent, almost like a scream of despair.
Same with the guitar solo, it sounds too gentle to me. I’d rather have the guitar literally scream even more.
I would also not fade the piano at the end, going into a crescendo instead.
That is what I would have done, but it is your song, and I like your darker work.
Thanks for listening @jo92346 and for the suggestions. I agree that is certainly a direction the song could go in if it was an angry song or a song about frustration and forced incarceration but my intention here was different. A man has done something to really hurt the love of his life and they break up. He can’t face seeing her so sad and wants to hide himself away until she gets over it and starts a new life without him. Depressing, sad or maybe even self-abusive but just another way to react to a bad situation. The drums here represent the inner voices and guilt. As the piano fades all that is left is the guilt. It is in fact quite a personal song.
Thanks again and I really appreciate your comments.
That makes sense.
Great production. I think the vocals might sound good in more of a whisper, with occasional bursts of sheer despair. Something I know a bit about. Hope this song is not based on reality! Congratulations on your latest album. Very well done. Have a great day!
Thanks, @Paulieworld . Yes, on reflection the vocals may have benefited from a bit more dynamics. But this is how it was recorded around 10 years ago. This song is actually partially based on reality (but, luckily, the events weren’t quite as dramatic as portrayed in the song!)