"Out Past Hawthorne Creek" Indie Rock collaboration with singer songwriter Shawn Berkeley

JanKun

Shawn Berkeley is an amazing singer songwriter I met during a live show where his current band, Blue Dog Drive, was playing. I immediately fell in love with his songs' atmosphere. He is definitely one of the most talented lyricist I met !
He had this song he previously submitted to his band but it didn't go in the direction he wanted, so he sent me a draft in logic of which I only kept the vocals then built up a full arrangement around.
The song went through different variations, but we eventually decided to go for this one. I am happy with the result, hopefully Shawn is too…
For whatever reason, I associate the lyrics of this song with the French Sculptress Camille Claudel, hence the Artwork including one of her most famous and gorgeous work, "La Valse"

Lyrics in the spoiler

Out past Hawthorne Creek
What is it you seek?
The palaces of wealthy men
Waiting for you again
Hoping that you're weak

Out Past Hawthorne Creek
Is that what you seek?
In the ruins of Athens lie
The despair of Lorelei
Patient for a peek

The ending not withstanding
The girl does what she wants
Pretending was outstanding
The girl does what she wants

Heaven help us
Heaven help

Out past Hawthorne Creek
The sky there is unique
The future is everything
Reach for the golden ring
Did they let you speak?

Here's a link to Shawn's SoundCloud. Plenty of great things to listen to!
Check out Shawn Berkeley on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/MT8Ut

jo92346

Lovely mood, lovely song.

richardyot

Great song, I love the imagery in the lyrics. The keys are great and the rhythms are beguiling.

jwmmakerofmusic

I love the chords in the song quite a lot. Nice lyrics and singing. This is pretty cool.

yellow_eyez

Absolutely fabulous drums, very cool track…nice one

McD

There is a good song there.

I would love the compare this finished work with the original band version if possible.

I can hear some of your rhythmic ideas in this one and wonder if you slipped it into 12/8 when the
original was something a little more 4/4 straight eight in feeling.

I find the drum cymbal sound at parts to be masking the power of the instrumental… there’s also I think a synth patch that has a power drill like quality that also captures a huge piece of the spectrum.

Sorry to do this… take it for what it’s worth. I’m sure you slaved over it. It does have a disorienting Van Dyke Parks feeling and I know you love his work.

JanKun

@jo92346 said:
Lovely mood, lovely song.

Thank you Joseph!

JanKun

@richardyot said:
Great song, I love the imagery in the lyrics. The keys are great and the rhythms are beguiling.

Thanks Richard! I also think the lyrics are great!

JanKun

@jwmmakerofmusic said:
I love the chords in the song quite a lot. Nice lyrics and singing. This is pretty cool.

Thank you for listening, Jim!

MrStochastic

I like how you wove the music around the lyrics. I'm guessing you're on every instrument and voice - well done! The lyrics are kind of opaque to me but maybe that's as it should be.

JanKun

@yellow_eyez said:
Absolutely fabulous drums, very cool track…nice one

Thank your Chris, glad your liked it! I didn't use Logic drummer this time. I sequenced the drum part myself and it is playing one of Drumdrops kit loaded in Virsyn's Audiolayer.

JanKun

@McD said:
There is a good song there.

I would love the compare this finished work with the original band version if possible.

I can hear some of your rhythmic ideas in this one and wonder if you slipped it into 12/8 when the
original was something a little more 4/4 straight eight in feeling.

I find the drum cymbal sound at parts to be masking the power of the instrumental… there’s also I think a synth patch that has a power drill like quality that also captures a huge piece of the spectrum.

Sorry to do this… take it for what it’s worth. I’m sure you slaved over it. It does have a disorienting Van Dyke Parks feeling and I know you love his work.

Critics are always welcome as long as they're constructive. Depending on the moment I listen to the track I either hate or love the cymbals I think you're referring to! As to the synth patch I am not sure what your mean. Could it the Rhodes ? If so, it was on purpose to get close to original draft I received.

Regarding the polyrhythmic aspect of the track, I don't remember from where it started. I think the track was indeed in 4/4 and I added elements in 3/4 and 6/8.

Shawn sent me 2 files to get me started, his vision of the track made with logic , and a rough smarphone recording of a rehearsal with his band playing a very stripped down version of the track. I think I have those files somewhere but I am not sure my friend would agree to share those.

Paulieworld

Great lyrics, vocals and melody. This song really draws me in. I found myself tapping my foot. I wanted to count four, but I was wrong. I love the three feel without being waltz-like. I am going to keep this in mind for a future project.

JanKun

@MrStochastic said:
I like how you wove the music around the lyrics. I'm guessing you're on every instrument and voice - well done! The lyrics are kind of opaque to me but maybe that's as it should be.

Thank you for listening. Indeed, all instruments and become vocals. Shawn is singing the main vocals.

JanKun

@Paulieworld said:
Great lyrics, vocals and melody. This song really draws me in. I found myself tapping my foot. I wanted to count four, but I was wrong. I love the three feel without being waltz-like. I am going to keep this in mind for a future project.

Thank you for listening! Polyrhythms are a great way to blur the lines !