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Dementia
I recently lost a cousin due to complications. He was a great big, outgoing, gregarious and fun loving guy. Last person I would have expected. My wife’s lady friend has been showing signs for over a year. We took her to dinner and she told us… I recognize you, but can’t remember your names or anything else. It’s truly frightening. This piece attempts to convey the thought processes in the mind of a person with this terrible condition. Alternating between calm, aware, confusion, anger, and terror. I don’t mean to make light of the subject. Its just been on my mind recently.
Comments
Dementia is a hellish condition. The last two years of her life the only person my mother recognised was my father...on her good days, which were far apart...
Great piece, love the way it chugs along with all the reoccurring themes. I'm visualising more of a sci-fi, action, thriller movie.
It is a great piece. Somehow you always manage to assemble many different ideas in a group where it sounds incredible as one.
Dementia truly is a sad condition. I play music/sing-a-longs for dementia patients every week at memory care centers. Music is a great pick me up for them, makes them happy. Some can’t recall family members names, know what month it is, but amazingly can remember all the words to old songs. The brain is such a mystery.
do they realize their dementia?
i know nothing about it.
A close relative of mine died yesterday after living with dementia for several years. It’s just terrible.
Yall ever listen to the disturbing audio project about dementia?
By: The caretaker
album: Everywhere at the end of time
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everywhere_at_the_End_of_Time
It’s a really strange experience. I can’t listen to the entire thing- it really takes you to deep places, even if you’re only half paying attention. some cite it as jarring, too emotional, too tooo much- and I think I concur. I found it very sad, especially losing my mother to a brain tumor that left her with disphagya(sp)
I’m sorry to hear about your cousin. As I get older and more forgetful I sometimes wonder if my mind will stay with me through the rest of my voyage here on planet Earth. It’s a scary and sobering thought.
I did enjoy the track. I recently had to get a new set of earphones and they lean toward the bass end of the sound spectrum. Your bass parts really shined on these babies! I also really liked the percussion in this one. Lots of variety without feeling cluttered.
Hope you and Karen are doing well.
Mac
I'm fortunate in that neither of my parents had it very bad. Unfortunately, the other ailments were. However, we all have an expiration date, so it was no surprise. I was in the room with mom when she passed. I often wonder who came to greet her, or if she was looking down on me. I guess one day I'll find out.
I've found that recurring themes are a great way to get close to that 3-4 minute sweet spot... with a minimum amount of work. I guess I wasn't paying attention to the clock on this one. I hope Dementia is like a sci-fi thriller, and I hope mine is like 'Young Frankenstein'. Thanks for listening!
Thanks Dav. I just wish the individual parts were more memorable. I can only remember a couple Seinfeld bass bits, a confusing part, and a scary part. (@McD will recognize a few bars of 'Boop Loop' in there. BTW, thanks for those listens. Hope you found a few cool things. I'm like a broken clock, you know).
That's a really nice thing you're doing. Our lady friend is also in a good place. When she gets "that look", I just remind her that we're friends that love and care for her. She gets to meet new people every day, and food just magically appears at the right time. Things could be whole a lot worse. I hope I'm so lucky.
You're halfway there, bro!
Just kidding.
Thanks for listening!
The thing about dementia is that it's not the killer, just the stalker. It just seems terrible to an outsider looking in. We'll never know. Say a prayer or two for your relative. They are probably doing the same for us!
I'm afraid to watch it! Maybe tonight if I can work up the courage.
Don't feel sorry for him. He had a great life, a beautiful wife and kids, and a good job. I always enjoyed family visits. The girls would go upstairs, and we would go down to the "laboratory". He had an oscilloscope! I never knew what it was for, but it was cool. He gave me my first pack of firecrackers. They were illegal. Glad you liked the song. Hope things are going well with the video projects. Keep me posted.
Sorry to hear this. My Grandmother had dementia before she passed, so I understand.
?
My father died of alzheimer's disease in 2022. It is what killed him.
It doesn't "just seem" terrible, it IS terrible. If you are the caretaker for a person with dementia then you DO know.
I thought your track was really good. This post not so much.
@abf My understanding is that "dementia" is a symptom, defined as a general decline in cognitive abilities, caused by many possible things. Alzheimer's is an actual disease that will kill, and in a horrific way. Alzheimer's accounts for many cases of dementia. We think our dad might have had actual Alzheimer's, but he was too stubborn to go see a doctor. We tried. He went to bed one night and never got up. I'm not trying to make light of it. I am sorry for your loss. We are not the primary caregivers, just friends that wish her the best.
Man, this whole thread is gonna be a tough read for me personally, so I'll just focus on the musical aspect. Your track is really amazing and cinematic. Quite an enjoyable listen. I really love it, mate.
Hell.
My wife chose to end her life in hospice by VSED. Voluntary Stopping Eating and Drinking. Legal in all 50 states and backed up by Supreme Court Ruling. Must be done with palliative care and while the patient is still competent.
I arranged all this for her with great difficulty. The cognitive dissonance of doing such a thing for the one you love is excruciating, heart snd mind pummeling. It was over two years ago now. If she were alive today (which she would have been) every shred of dignity would be gone and others would look on her only with pity. She was brave and determined. She would not live like that.
If you love someone with dementia they should know about this choice. Families that quake in revulsion at such a decision (if desired by the loved one) act out of a misguided idea of love and unrecognized selfishness.
It is the right of an individual to make that choice. Forcing someone to live in inchoate darkness and confusion while the family feels self righteous and “loving” is nothing more than unwitting, unnecessary cruelty and cowardice.
Sometimes there is only courage.
Beautiful sad post.
This is a heartbreaking thread. May god/universe/good fortune bless all of you. Stay strong.
Thank you for the art @Paulieworld
Hi Jim, thanks for listening and the Like. Yes, focus on your music. It makes people happy. You deliver it with style and humor. Have a really nice week!
@abf Thanks for calling it “art”. It’s been called other things. I started something new this weekend on a much more upbeat note. I might even call it a happy little tune. I hope you get a chance to listen. Hang in there, bro.
@LinearLineman. I’ll message you later.
It certainly is a post that makes you stop a little and reflect, so much hardship for relatives and friends caused by this horrible state. The music is, as always topnotch (of course it's art, what else would it be?)
Thank you so much. I think we should listen to @jwmmakerofmusic and focus on the music. It’s what we all love to do… and talk about! That and food. We should start a “Culinary Corner” or a restaurant review section. Peace bro.
Thanks mate! You too.
Nice work Paul, the music was far less disturbing / chaotic than I was expected which I guess reflects my personal thoughts / experience of these syndromes and diseases . It’s good to be able to talk about these difficult subjects 🙏
Thank you,
For both the music, and the discussion that emerges from your post.
The track provided an entirely appropriate space for me to be able to feel and think about some of the fragments of moving stories shared, and how similar experiences are occurring in my life and the lives of people around me.
I will now find some more music to help explore the space that has opened.
(Not that scary looking one though! F%@k no. I want something gentle and spacious.)
Thanks all 🙏🏼
Take care,
I see where you are coming from with this, and dementia is many different things to different people. My mother passed from complications from dementia, but there’s a lengthy period from onset of symptoms to end of life. As it progresses there are stages to it that we can only see from the outside. Manifestations can seem joyful as inhibitions are lost, then peaceful as everything slows, but there is the inevitable confusion that gradually increases, leading to the slow decay of higher functions.
It was hard for me as I live in a different country, so everyone time I saw her it wasn’t a gradual progression, it was a step from one stage to the next. I’m not going to add to that, but do want to say I appreciate hearing is being open about our experiences.
@RiverbendSim @michael_m Thank you for sharing your experiences. I guess it’s just a part of life and death. The only thing we all have in common. As JM Keynes famously said… Live for the short run. In the long run we’re dead. Now get out there and live! (I added that last part!)
@LinearLineman Hi Mike. My father chose to do the same thing. He wasn’t in a hospice, but he had a nurse that visited occasionally. We would all take turns bringing dinner. One day he just decided to stop eating. Nothing like an official procedure. We tried, but he just smiled and ignored us. He would pretend to eat with an imaginary fork. We knew, to the day, when he would go, and we were in the next room. I thought I would be sad, but wasn’t. He had a pretty good life.
Be well, and best wishes from your friends in Chicago.