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How Complaining Rewires Your Brain for Negativity

2

Comments

  • edited September 2017

    @MonzoPro said:
    Most of us are living in a time and environment, where we can enjoy comparative freedom and wealth like never before. Comfortable lifestyles that only the rich and connected previously had access to. Civil liberties and legal rights have been hard fought, and lives have been lost upholding them. That could all come tumbling down very, very quickly if people roll over and accept what they’re given without question or complaint. Maybe it’s already begun.

    A complaint is a formal statement that something isn’t as it should be. It’s not moaning or whining for the sake of it, or wanting something you’re not entitled to. The first step in seeing if things can be improved.

    While I don't contest any of that (in fact, I 100% agree with that in the bigger picture) I feel that sometimes people need to get some perspective. A constant stream of statements full of hyperbole such as "I really hate Apple because they took away my wishlist" or "I can no longer disable my wifi from the widgets screen so faceless men in black can better track my whereabouts" are neither constructive nor realistic and they only taint the general atmosphere in a place like this.

    Will it convince Apple to change anything? No. Will it convince other people to change their opinion? Doubtful. Will it make this place that little bit less pleasant to hang around? To me; yes. :)

    Edit: when we're talking about bigger political or socio-economical issues (which transcend "wishlists" and "widgetscreens") I'm fully on board. But this place is not the forum for such things. Actually, I always thought this forum was breath of fresh air online because it was mostly devoid of those topics.

  • Should I start a thread about complaining about other people's complaining, or can we just discuss it right here? :D

  • Btw: in a bigger scheme, at least here in Italy/Europe, I see the nation of whiners/moaners/complainers getting bigger and bigger every day. This nation has a lot to whine about and very little solutions, realistic ones I mean, for the problems they think they’re facing. For instance have a look to what happened and is happening with brexit(it was a bluff since there wasn’t any kind of plan to ACTUATE what the poll results were asking because the same who proposed it were sure to lose so who wants to prepare a plan just to ditch it?) or here in Italy we have the 3rd party-which-is’t-a-party(as they pretend) which , once in charge(Rome & Turin)are completely unable to show the change they promised in the electoral campaign. Like any opposing role, this kind loses its ragion d’etre in the same moment they are in charge since it never had any real alternative but a big bunch of very legit no’s

  • @DefRobot said:
    Venting is cathartic.
    If you keep problems to yourself and just walk away, you will eventually run out of places to go.

    >

    Yes, and it’s also good to ‘do our bit.’ For example, the BBC’s amusingly titled ‘Have Your Say’ pages. Taking a swipe there is never going to change the world, but it’s better than sitting back and saying nothing.

  • edited September 2017

    @brambos said:

    While I don't contest any of that (in fact, I 100% agree with that in the bigger picture) I feel that sometimes people need to get some perspective. A constant stream of statements full of hyperbole such as "I really hate Apple because they took away my wishlist" or "I can no longer disable my wifi from the widgets screen so faceless men in black can better track my whereabouts" are neither constructive nor realistic and they only taint the general atmosphere in a place like this.

    Depends on the context. If someone's spent a thousand pounds on something, and a change in the system stops them from using it as they'd hoped, then I think it's perfectly justified to share the experience it on a forum where those issues will affect others as well. In fact the majority of the issues raised on here have saved me from making bad decisions on purchases, or reminded me of my consumer rights. For example one member mentioned the 14 day returns window which I'd forgotten about, so I stepped up pressure on a company that delivered a squashed bike to us and instead of waiting weeks/months for a botched repair, we got our money back.

    I would say generally the comments on here are pretty balanced. Personally I find the 'shut up moaning and think yourself lucky Apple even lower themselves to sell this stuff to you' vibe comments more of a turn-off. But I agree, sometimes the complaints can also get a bit out of hand.

    @brambos said:

    Will it convince Apple to change anything?

    Quite possibly. My experience with big corporations is they take comments on forums very seriously, particularly one's that rank high in the search engines. And I get a quicker reaction from a post on Facebook than I do with some of the rogue suppliers I have to deal with.

    @brambos said:

    Edit: when we're talking about bigger political or socio-economical issues (which transcend "wishlists" and "widgetscreens") I'm fully on board. But this place is not the forum for such things. Actually, I always thought this forum was breath of fresh air online because it was mostly devoid of those topics.

    I kind of agree, and I avoid getting sucked into those. We've all got different opinions as we all come from different backgrounds, and it's hard to conduct a balanced debate online as you miss out on the nuances of what's being said. It just ends up in bad feeling and there's no point.

  • edited September 2017

    It’s always the same few stuck in what seems like a perpetual downward spiral into the quicksand of negative thought. They seem to continue on this course until they finally become a “deleted user”.

    Pity they had to pollute the waters for everyone else too on their way out. Remember those poor ol‘ cats Nathan and Nkersov? Kinda felt sorry for them.

    On the other hand, I spend too much time here anyway and end up buying too many apps I don’t really need. When this same handful of perpetually angry and dissatisfied users are complaining constantly about everything, I just learn to stay away and wait for them to burn out again. So, ultimately they’re doing me a great service and saving me some money. :)

    As mentioned before, I’ve also learned how draining and destructive it can be listen to these poor sad folk’s constant ranting, that I’ve begun to tone down my own inclinations to whine, and focus more on what’s good. So another win. Thankies!

  • A little off topic but here is my thinking that positivity and your physical and mental energy are linked.
    My example: when Im tired and jogging and thinking about negative things like poverty traps, class, or brexit, it really saps my energy. I go down a gear and I feel heavy. When I notice it happening I can easily think about my next musical project and gain almost imediately extra physical energy for running and life doesnt seem so heavy any more. Thank you music world/AB forum for giving me have something nice to think about and making my jogging easier.
    Personally, gripes and moans here, justified or not, dont bother me. Vent all you like.

  • @skiphunt said:
    It’s always the same few stuck in what seems like a perpetual downward spiral into the quicksand of negative thought. They seem to continue on this course until they finally become a “deleted user”.

    Pity they had to pollute the waters for everyone else too on their way out. Remember those poor ol‘ cats Nathan and Nkersov? Kinda felt sorry for them.

    On the other hand, I spend too much time here anyway and end up buying too many apps I don’t really need. When this same handful of perpetually angry and dissatisfied users are complaining constantly about everything, I just learn to stay away and wait for them to burn out again. So, ultimately they’re doing me a great service and saving me some money. :)

    As mentioned before, I’ve also learned how draining and destructive it can be listen to these poor sad folk’s constant ranting, that I’ve begun to tone down my own inclinations to whine, and focus more on what’s good. So another win. Thankies!

    So you start a thread to stir things up?

  • edited September 2017

    @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:
    It’s always the same few stuck in what seems like a perpetual downward spiral into the quicksand of negative thought. They seem to continue on this course until they finally become a “deleted user”.

    Pity they had to pollute the waters for everyone else too on their way out. Remember those poor ol‘ cats Nathan and Nkersov? Kinda felt sorry for them.

    On the other hand, I spend too much time here anyway and end up buying too many apps I don’t really need. When this same handful of perpetually angry and dissatisfied users are complaining constantly about everything, I just learn to stay away and wait for them to burn out again. So, ultimately they’re doing me a great service and saving me some money. :)

    As mentioned before, I’ve also learned how draining and destructive it can be listen to these poor sad folk’s constant ranting, that I’ve begun to tone down my own inclinations to whine, and focus more on what’s good. So another win. Thankies!

    So you start a thread to stir things up?

    Nope. I’m empathetic and genuinely wanted to try and help others who might be suffering from negative thought patterns as I have in the past. I’ve found changing your perspective toward the positive and recognizing destructive habits to break out of can make living so much more pleasant.

    But, your mileage may vary :smile:

  • edited September 2017

    While we should not complain at all things, we should question that which we deem to be problematic. Our idea of what complaining is, has changed due to people that out and out moan at everything (internet mostly lol). Making complaint is fine, it’s the purpose and reasoning behind some complaints that has given complaining a bad name.

  • edited September 2017

    @skiphunt said:

    @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:
    It’s always the same few stuck in what seems like a perpetual downward spiral into the quicksand of negative thought. They seem to continue on this course until they finally become a “deleted user”.

    Pity they had to pollute the waters for everyone else too on their way out. Remember those poor ol‘ cats Nathan and Nkersov? Kinda felt sorry for them.

    On the other hand, I spend too much time here anyway and end up buying too many apps I don’t really need. When this same handful of perpetually angry and dissatisfied users are complaining constantly about everything, I just learn to stay away and wait for them to burn out again. So, ultimately they’re doing me a great service and saving me some money. :)

    As mentioned before, I’ve also learned how draining and destructive it can be listen to these poor sad folk’s constant ranting, that I’ve begun to tone down my own inclinations to whine, and focus more on what’s good. So another win. Thankies!

    So you start a thread to stir things up?

    Nope. I’m empathetic and genuinely wanted to try and help others who might be suffering from negative thought patterns as I have in the past. I’ve found changing your perspective toward the positive and recognizing destructive habits to break out of can make living so much more pleasant.

    Do you think it's empathic to suggest some members 'pollute the waters'? And that they are 'damaging to those around you, infected with your spewing vitriol'?

    That sounds more like arguement-starting talk to me.

  • edited September 2017

    @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:

    @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:
    It’s always the same few stuck in what seems like a perpetual downward spiral into the quicksand of negative thought. They seem to continue on this course until they finally become a “deleted user”.

    Pity they had to pollute the waters for everyone else too on their way out. Remember those poor ol‘ cats Nathan and Nkersov? Kinda felt sorry for them.

    On the other hand, I spend too much time here anyway and end up buying too many apps I don’t really need. When this same handful of perpetually angry and dissatisfied users are complaining constantly about everything, I just learn to stay away and wait for them to burn out again. So, ultimately they’re doing me a great service and saving me some money. :)

    As mentioned before, I’ve also learned how draining and destructive it can be listen to these poor sad folk’s constant ranting, that I’ve begun to tone down my own inclinations to whine, and focus more on what’s good. So another win. Thankies!

    So you start a thread to stir things up?

    Nope. I’m empathetic and genuinely wanted to try and help others who might be suffering from negative thought patterns as I have in the past. I’ve found changing your perspective toward the positive and recognizing destructive habits to break out of can make living so much more pleasant.

    Do you think it's empathic to suggest some members 'pollute the waters'? And that they are 'damaging to those around you, infected with your spewing vitriol'?

    That sounds more like arguement-starting talk to me.

    Just a suggestion dude. I don’t think I’m alone on this, but whatever.

    Listen, I struggle with trying to break the habit too. I don’t think some here realize what their constant negativity does to others. So, I do empathize. When I recognized the pattern and how it not only was unhealthy for me, but was also detrimental to others, and started making an effort to change the behavior, things started looking a little brighter.

    One more thing... yesterday afternoon there were 5 police SUVs and 2 Mobile Outreach vehicles (emergency mental health folks) in front of my house. The neighbor’s adult son (a musician) was always complaining about everything. Never had anything positive to say about anything. I really felt bad for him because it seemed his life was one constant stream of negativity.

    Well, evidently yesterday his downward spiral of constant negative thought resulted in successful suicide.

    The ambulance came with no lights or sirens as they took away the body.

    This was at the time of day when school kids are let out and all the neighborhood kids are walking home from school and wondering why there were so many cops on our street, as well as the cheery yellow school buses navigating around the cop SUVs and ambulance, was sad and surreal.

    It made me sad that I didn’t make more of an effort to try and talk to this young man and see if there was a way I could’ve at least tried to help him break out of his negative thought patterns and his downward spiral... before he disappeared into the nightmare of depression and suicide.

  • Aristotle was wrong about a lot of things, or at least the source of a lot of persistent wrong notions. One of these is the overrated virtue of "catharsis". And besides, he was talking about the theater. Maybe watching a Sophocles tragedy can help purge the tragedy of our own suffering lives, but that doesn't mean YOU are Sophocles and you have free license to turn every time some jerk cuts you off on the freeway into a Sophoclesable moment. The right to "vent" is WAY overblown nowadays and its benefits greatly exaggerated.

    Anyway, nice one, @skiphunt. I'm resetting my morning. Thanks!

  • edited September 2017

    @skiphunt said:

    @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:

    @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:
    It’s always the same few stuck in what seems like a perpetual downward spiral into the quicksand of negative thought. They seem to continue on this course until they finally become a “deleted user”.

    Pity they had to pollute the waters for everyone else too on their way out. Remember those poor ol‘ cats Nathan and Nkersov? Kinda felt sorry for them.

    On the other hand, I spend too much time here anyway and end up buying too many apps I don’t really need. When this same handful of perpetually angry and dissatisfied users are complaining constantly about everything, I just learn to stay away and wait for them to burn out again. So, ultimately they’re doing me a great service and saving me some money. :)

    As mentioned before, I’ve also learned how draining and destructive it can be listen to these poor sad folk’s constant ranting, that I’ve begun to tone down my own inclinations to whine, and focus more on what’s good. So another win. Thankies!

    So you start a thread to stir things up?

    Nope. I’m empathetic and genuinely wanted to try and help others who might be suffering from negative thought patterns as I have in the past. I’ve found changing your perspective toward the positive and recognizing destructive habits to break out of can make living so much more pleasant.

    Do you think it's empathic to suggest some members 'pollute the waters'? And that they are 'damaging to those around you, infected with your spewing vitriol'?

    That sounds more like arguement-starting talk to me.

    Just a suggestion dude. I don’t think I’m alone in this, but whatever.

    Listen, I struggle with trying to break the habit too. I don’t think some here realize what their constant negativity does to others. So, I do empathize. When I recognized the pattern and how it not only was unhealthy for me, but was also detrimental to others, and started making an effort to change the behavior, things started looking a little brighter.

    One more thing... yesterday afternoon there were 5 police SUVs and 2 Mobile Outreach vehicles (emergency mental health folks) in front of my house. The neighbor’s adult son (a musician) was always complaining about everything. Never had anything positive to say about anything. I really felt bad for him because it seemed his life was one constant stream of negativity.

    Well, evidently yesterday his downward spiral of constant negative thought resulted in successful suicide.

    The ambulance came with no lights or sirens as they took away the body.

    This was at the time of day when school kids are let out and all the neighborhood kids are walking home from school and wondering why there were so many cops on our street, as well as the cheery yellow school buses navigating around the cop SUVs and ambulance, was sad and surreal.

    It made me sad that I didn’t make more of an effort to try and talk to this young man and see if there was a way I could’ve at least tried to help him break out of his negative thought patterns and his downward spiral... before he disappeared into the nightmare of depression and suicide.

    I'm sorry to hear that. I had a friend disappear a couple years ago. His closer friends say he likely wandered off into the woods and hung himself. They knew he was depressed and even went out with him just a few nights before. Sadly, in a lot of cases, with just words, there often isn't much you can do.

    A couple times now I was able to legally intervene and get people apprehended for their own protection under the mental health act as they were a threat to themselves. Either you need to be close to the person and build a detailed case over time (and hope the judge finds you are sincere) or simply be there right as they are in the act and dial fast.

  • @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:

    @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:
    It’s always the same few stuck in what seems like a perpetual downward spiral into the quicksand of negative thought. They seem to continue on this course until they finally become a “deleted user”.

    Pity they had to pollute the waters for everyone else too on their way out. Remember those poor ol‘ cats Nathan and Nkersov? Kinda felt sorry for them.

    On the other hand, I spend too much time here anyway and end up buying too many apps I don’t really need. When this same handful of perpetually angry and dissatisfied users are complaining constantly about everything, I just learn to stay away and wait for them to burn out again. So, ultimately they’re doing me a great service and saving me some money. :)

    As mentioned before, I’ve also learned how draining and destructive it can be listen to these poor sad folk’s constant ranting, that I’ve begun to tone down my own inclinations to whine, and focus more on what’s good. So another win. Thankies!

    So you start a thread to stir things up?

    Nope. I’m empathetic and genuinely wanted to try and help others who might be suffering from negative thought patterns as I have in the past. I’ve found changing your perspective toward the positive and recognizing destructive habits to break out of can make living so much more pleasant.

    Do you think it's empathic to suggest some members 'pollute the waters'? And that they are 'damaging to those around you, infected with your spewing vitriol'?

    That sounds more like arguement-starting talk to me.

    My recommendation is to remember people will post what they want. The Audiobus developers are the only ones who can control what's posted on here in any absolute way. Compliance with anyone else's suggestions as to what people do here is totally voluntary to the best of my knowledge.

  • On a tangentially related note, a lot of people have complained that my sequencers don't have MIDI out. So I am now adding that to all my sequencers. I hope that will bring a tiny nugget of happiness to some.

    So constructive complaining to the right audience can sometimes have a positive effect ;)

  • edited September 2017
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Well, there’s always the phrase “misery loves company”.

    That being said, none of us knows how much time we get in this life. I’m going to go ride bikes with my wife and shoot some hoops at the neighborhood park. Play a few games of HORSE, then ride to the coffee shop to catch up on my Adbusters magazine, and people watch. Maybe collect a little field audio to play with later. Basically enjoy my Saturday afternoon.

    If your idea of enjoying your precious time is complaining about the new App Store, or some app’s lack of a feature you want, or issues with Apple customer service, or the government, or someone suggesting you look outside of your negative bubble, etc. floats your boat, more power to ya. :)

    Though, If I had so much disappointment and anger with any given platform, I think I’d look into either switching to the desktop, seeing what the surface pro offers, or find a new hobby.

    Have a nice Saturday everyone! I’ve got a game of HORSE go play so that I might win back the title of the universe from my wife. ;)

  • I wouldn't trust a forum that has only positive things to say about products being promoted. The negative comments help a lot in learning about products. And the occasional drama is a lot better than reality TV. ;)

  • @jn2002dk said:

    Reminds of this quote, from a random Twitter user

    Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes

    That cracks me up!

  • There are a handful of users here, not many but they tend to dominate every thread with constant complaining. It seems that’s all they do. Nothing wrong with voicing dissatisfaction every now and then, but we all know that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s the few who are so disappointed with every aspect of their lives and seem to be stuck in a pattern of negative thought that I’m speaking to.

    Again, I can completely empathize. I used to be like that too. Don’t get me started about how Apple keeps making the podcast app even worse or the atrocious behavior of my own government.

    But, I’m no longer going to let this stuff rob me of my precious time, or bring others down too with incessant protest.

    I’m alive, I’m not in pain, I have a fun touch device that mostly runs incredibly ingenious apps written by pure masters of aural magic. So, I’m gonna try to focus on that instead. I invite any and all to join me in focusing more in celebrating what’s good. :)

  • Best thing to do is 'waste' sometime with people you love, but as for complaining I don't see it as negative, maybe the solution or lack of to the criticism, could be, this is the real danger.

  • @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:

    @MonzoPro said:

    @skiphunt said:
    It’s always the same few stuck in what seems like a perpetual downward spiral into the quicksand of negative thought. They seem to continue on this course until they finally become a “deleted user”.

    Pity they had to pollute the waters for everyone else too on their way out. Remember those poor ol‘ cats Nathan and Nkersov? Kinda felt sorry for them.

    On the other hand, I spend too much time here anyway and end up buying too many apps I don’t really need. When this same handful of perpetually angry and dissatisfied users are complaining constantly about everything, I just learn to stay away and wait for them to burn out again. So, ultimately they’re doing me a great service and saving me some money. :)

    As mentioned before, I’ve also learned how draining and destructive it can be listen to these poor sad folk’s constant ranting, that I’ve begun to tone down my own inclinations to whine, and focus more on what’s good. So another win. Thankies!

    So you start a thread to stir things up?

    Nope. I’m empathetic and genuinely wanted to try and help others who might be suffering from negative thought patterns as I have in the past. I’ve found changing your perspective toward the positive and recognizing destructive habits to break out of can make living so much more pleasant.

    Do you think it's empathic to suggest some members 'pollute the waters'? And that they are 'damaging to those around you, infected with your spewing vitriol'?

    That sounds more like arguement-starting talk to me.

    Are we really down to complaining about complaining? Really?> @knewspeak said:

    Best thing to do is 'waste' sometime with people you love, but as for complaining I don't see it as negative, maybe the solution or lack of to the criticism, could be, this is the real danger.

    Interesting.

  • edited September 2017

    @brambos said:
    On a tangentially related note, a lot of people have complained that my sequencers don't have MIDI out. So I am now adding that to all my sequencers. I hope that will bring a tiny nugget of happiness to some.

    So constructive complaining to the right audience can sometimes have a positive effect ;)

    Thanks

  • Life motto: Maybe you should hustle as hard as you hate.

    If you feel jealousy about a position someone has that you feel may be unearned or whatever, stop worrying and work harder. Befriend those more successful or talented than you and learn from them. It may lead to opportunities you wouldn’t always get.

    I was a very negative person and used chaos magic sigil techniques to drill this into my brain until it became my way of life.

  • edited September 2017

    Have a nice day. :)

    Hey, did anyone notice AudioStretch is on sale for half off?! I’ve always loved the free lite version, and don’t really need much more functionality. But I always told myself that if the full version ever goes on sale, I’m gonna nab it to support the developer.

    Well, that day is here!

    AudioStretch - Power Tool for Music Transcription by Cognosonic Pte Ltd
    https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/audiostretch-power-tool-for-music-transcription/id571863178?mt=8

  • edited September 2017

    @Tritonman said:

    Nope. I’m empathetic and genuinely wanted to try and help others who might be suffering from negative thought patterns as I have in the past. I’ve found changing your perspective toward the positive and recognizing destructive habits to break out of can make living so much more pleasant.

    Do you think it's empathic to suggest some members 'pollute the waters'? And that they are 'damaging to those around you, infected with your spewing vitriol'?

    That sounds more like arguement-starting talk to me.

    Are we really down to complaining about complaining? Really?

    That's what the original post seems to be about. A rant about people who rant, a complaint about complainers. A whinge against the whingers.

    Just pointing out the irony there mister as it seems to have flown about 30,000 feet above some peoples heads.

    Now pass the Prozac and keep smiling...happy, happy happy...

  • @brambos said:
    On a tangentially related note, a lot of people have complained that my sequencers don't have MIDI out. So I am now adding that to all my sequencers. I hope that will bring a tiny nugget of happiness to some.

    So constructive complaining to the right audience can sometimes have a positive effect ;)

    I’m so pleased :)

    Isn’t it about time you brought out a new wonderful app? Kinda look forward to your releases :)

  • @MonzoPro said:

    @Tritonman said:

    Nope. I’m empathetic and genuinely wanted to try and help others who might be suffering from negative thought patterns as I have in the past. I’ve found changing your perspective toward the positive and recognizing destructive habits to break out of can make living so much more pleasant.

    Do you think it's empathic to suggest some members 'pollute the waters'? And that they are 'damaging to those around you, infected with your spewing vitriol'?

    That sounds more like arguement-starting talk to me.

    Are we really down to complaining about complaining? Really?

    That's what the original post seems to be about. A rant about people who rant, a complaint about complainers. A whinge against the whingers.

    Just pointing out the irony there mister as it seems to have flown about 30,000 feet above some peoples heads.

    Now pass the Prozac and keep smiling...happy, happy happy...

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