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Comments
Cheers. Just had a re listen. Yes the house mix needs another go. My bad.
Hi, I made this song last weekend and I like it, musically speaking that is....but the lyrics...hmm....I don’t know
. But the music is the most important to me, and I think the voice adds, whatever the words are.
Very prompt Skipper. Can only suppose the builders have at least finished your posh new soundproofed booth and thus some singing can recommence.
I like all of the music on this, very relaxed and confident at the same time. Smooth. Particular props for the early guitar and the late organ. Overall comment on the vocal would be its feels as though it might be ten per cent too soft in the EQ. OR it might be that the reverb/whatever sends it that same 10 per percent further back. I can hear it plenty well enough, but it feels just a little furry (technical etc). I would like you to be closer to the front of the stage. Critically, I think I would also like (somehow) more distinction between the chorus and the verses. Maybe that's melodic or some other trick of emphasis (harmony?). Despite all that, it's good to have you back in song saddle!
Thanks much for the explanation Mister Rick!
On the plains of hesitation by Infinity Stairs. Some Korg minilogue, eurorack, Juno 106, guitar through a boss analog phaser pedal, Gadget for Mac plugins in Ableton Live, drums through Goodhertz Vulf Compressor, some tape warble and drift from Goodhertz WOW Control plugin.
Sounds really nice, good instrumentation, great playing, particularly like the lead guitar sound.
As for the lyrics......Well, I don't know
@trackedout Hated the off tune slide to start with, after a couple of listens it sort of makes sense......some bits are still a bit harsh though. Vocal is great. Love the overall idea and sound, just those really off notes are making me wince LOL
Had me expecting an 80's crime drama to appear on screen. On the plains of hesitation... it did feel like it wanted to take off, but was holding back, the hesitation in the title perhaps ?
The paint on my brush doesn’t know where to flow
Well. I think we've all been there...
After thinking of various others to compare your 'sound' to, I've decided I just like your own distinctive self. As seems to be a bit of a theme (is two a theme?) I would like to hear EITHER the verse or the chorus sung in a more modulated (softer? less declarative?) style. And while we're critiquing, might just be me but She spins round sounds just a tad off-key...but two extra bonus points for rhyming planned and crayons
Have been getting some kindly ribbing for writing too-short songs so I was determined to do the full four minutes this month
Lyrics were shared on a thread here a while back (can't seem to find it now), but I kept a copy. The mutated end result is in the spoiler.
Sometimes we write with a very particular purpose in mind, a story or a point, but then sometimes it seems the words only become filled up and real once you begin to sing them and thereafter figure out what they meant all along. It is very obvious to me now that my Walker Percy (not the American author from Covington, Louisiana, whose interests included philosophy and semiotics but instead some form of doppelgänger ) is a man who's good enough to know his bad true self and is trying to make peace with that. For some of us this is a familiar predicament..
Walker Percy
He was not wild
nor was he angry
just simply scared of what he was
out alone and walking
he felt better just because
out and walking alone
he felt better
just because
He'd say:
A man can kill another man
for breathing in one room
a woman can take your heart out
and she can break it pretty soon
but here in the world and walking
I feel safe from who I am
one day far beyond myself
I may become a better man
Walker Percy was a blood red boy
his bones they lived out loud
and if he'd had himself a mother
she surely would been proud
A man can kill another man
for breathing in one room
a woman can take your heart right out
she can break it pretty soon
but here in the world I'm walking
I feel safe from who I am
and one fine day beyond myself
I may become a better man
And he'd say:
I can kill another man
for breathing in my room...
thanks man, my own distinctive sound, I'll gladly accept that! I've played in a few cover bands and never felt I was very good at sounding like whomever we were covering. REM, Petty and Mellencamp were probably the closest..
but yeah, I appreciate your suggestions. @richardyot made a similar comment about the desired "softness" of the verses, and @rickwaugh also was shaken but the "She spins round" line. If I every release this "for real" on an EP/LP, I will definitely fix the "she spins round" part, that's an easy one and I agree with your comment. The singing softly bit is a taller order for me, but I do think that is a very good suggestion. More than likely I'd record an entirely new version with guitars! thanks again!
I completely hear you about going back (as and when) and doing The Version of songs. That's one of the things I love most about this cosa nostra....you find out (for yourself, and let's be fair, we always know) if there's a song there and then you get a few areas of consideration (from others) which either illuminate or confirm etc.
As for softer; this song would be a perfect work-out room for trying that. Just lock yourself away with the verse and sing it as dispiritedly as you can manage and then dial it back up a bit
ha... it's not unusual for your posts to send me to Google, but the "Sicilian Mafia"? I had no idea... watch for it's reference in an upcoming SOTMC submission!
you're right about the vocal exercise, now that the phrasing and melody are all worked out, I could put all my focus on the delivery. this reminds me, I recorded the chorus vocals in two halves, not signing it all the way through each take. Now I'm trying to prep it to play live with my acoustic, and I've found there is absolutely no where to breathe in that chorus! another reminder that I still have a lot to learn.
I was married to a certain amount of mobness at one point and I always weirdly liked the threatening simplicity of that phrase our thing....
@AndyPlankton yeah sorry about that.. you either love or hate my music I'm not a perfectionist and all my songs show. But I'm hoping this practice will lead to effortless recording in the future since I'm having less mistakes everything cause I listen to past mistakes and I learn what I don't want to do more.... I don't know or I just don't care !!! I appreciate your input. Helps me a lot in my solo practice
@richardyot hello mate, love the production on this, u might hate this, but I’m hearing a lot of Foreigner here....eeek....steps back...waits for imminent bitch slap!
Nice catchy chorus and dark synth bits. I really enjoyed it.
@bluepunk U sir crack me up! This is all a bit over my head as I was always more the “Jolly Fucker!” With the dodgy home bleached hair........and the pretty girls
@rickwaugh Well mate, your video had me quite honestly mesmerised! I envy your talent sir. What a lovely complex but engaging piece of music. I thoroughly enjoyed it and the video was great aswell. There’s nothing wrong with things taking a while to get done...the key is just that they get done. There’s nothing worse than just having a whole memory drive full of unfinished ideas.
Great stuff mate
@studs1966 Ello mate, soooo out of the two, the disco mix is champ by far for me, you’ve done a great job with it.
On the house mix however,the vocal sounds off, like it’s a slightly different key to the music and it just didn’t sit well in my ears. Sorry mate.
I hope that’s of some use to you buddy.
@Shaken&;Stirred Lots to like hear mate, the music is bright,quirky and cool, much like the lyrics. They are awesome and create good imagery. Nice one buddy
@LostBoy85, wow, thanks kindly. Mesmerised works for me.
@Marcel, I can’t make out the words every well, but I also like the song a lot. Very nicely recorded and mixed. It’s got a great feel to it, start to end. Brilliant electric guitar sound.
@trackedout, that’s a great mix. Love what you did with the guitar sounds and your voice, to position everything so nicely. I also like the wandery, punky quality of the guitar. That being said, it was a bit unrelenting, and could use some kind of a break somewhere.
Sooo....you guys are all gonna hate this...I just know it...
BUT, look at it this way, I have brought an AMAZING female vocalist to the forum!! So every cloud...yadi yada! 
This is a song that I have just finished writing with the glorious Shevaun. We sing loads of stuff on the Smule karaoke app and decided to write our own 80’s style duet, complete with cheesy lyrics and snares you could land a plane on!
I know you won’t like it...but I take comfort in the fact that the girls LOVE IT..sooo
All thoughts are welcome!
@gburks, excellent tune. Had me sitting here doing the head bob, moves really well, nice breaks/changes at the right time. Mix is excellent. Reminds me a bit of Alan Parsons project with some of the sounds and arrangement.
@JohnnyGoodyear, only complaint is that it was too long.
Okay, kidding. Well, that was disturbing, in a very cool way. Dark, both from the video, and in the dolorous piano, and the vocal styling. Very powerful. I like the starkness - I don’t know if you could have added anything to that at all without seriously changing the feel.
Hopefully you wanted it dark and disturbing. If not, oh dear.
I wanted it honest once I found it and it mostly feels that way. Trying to hide less this year
Thanks for the note.
Hi @LostBoy85 I haven't seen you on the forum for ages matey. Glad to see you back. Yep your absolutely correct. Think I'm gonna delete the "Deep House Mix" I'm gonna have to do a rewrite.
Dear David,
You have broken my heart. How could you sing with another woman so soon? Goodbye.
Thereza
PS. Shevaun eh? Nice for you.
PPS. Jason is more of a man than you’ll ever be.