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Just a reminder to be kind
This isn’t so much of problem here as in other places, but it resonated with me so I’m posting here.
From Bo Beats
Comments
Great sentiments, but I can't help thinking he's doing himself far more harm than good. The people that would take that in the right spirit are not the ones causing him problems. The ones causing him the problems have just been handed exactly what they seek ... affirmation that they're doing him harm.
Nothing encourages a bully more than someone cringing before them. Nothing discourages a bully more than ignoring them. (Or kicking their ass - which unfortunately isn't an option in this case.)
It's therapeutic to be honest about your feelings - but the audience for that honesty should be carefully selected.
This is so accurate.
I don't disagree. It's sad the amount of toxic hate that gets spewed on youtube and the internet, especially for those who aren't outwardly hostile (such as BoBeats).
I also think there's a middle ground here which should be recognized. BoBeats has always come off to me as one of the more self-righteous and sensationalist of the youtube gear reviewers (he sometimes put "worth the hype" in his review thumbnails which I find pretty distasteful).
I have never attacked him or criticized him directly, rather I just put his channel on ignore and note not to recommend his videos if they show up in search results. I am guessing I'm not alone in this viewpoint on him, as well as other gear reviewers on youtube.
I may be more cynical than the average but it's a new type of content which I think rarely gives deep insight on the gear. Usually they seem more focused on the performing talents of the reviewer, or a more compressed video going over the surface-level traits of gear instead of a truly deeper dive into the potential features of gear. There are exceptions (I tend to find SonicLab has an approach I prefer).
I guess my point is that I think it's a tragedy if a gear reviewer such as Bo Beats gives a negative review which has enough influence that someone interested in that gear foregoes even trying to use it themselves. The fact that the nature of review of anything has this potential, I think reviewers are subject to scrutiny and even dismissal. But not hostility.
@CalCutta - I'm sure that you don't mean to imply that online harassment is OK as long as people don't like someone. Honest criticism and disagreement is fine but that's very different from online harassment and intimidation, which is what I think he's referring to.
Like I say, I'm sure that's not what you meant, but I can see how some people could take it that way.
[edit ... re-read and noticed the last sentence of your post, which I had missed before. disregard my comments above pls]
Relevant bookends:
"Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not." (Samuel Johnson)
"Viel feind, viel ehr." (German saying: Many enemies, much honour)
Agree with both of you.
Not a fan, but I have a sense of who he is and the flak he takes, and I hate bullying.
Hadn't heard about the gaming community suicides but that's really awful. We should be doing better by now, as an internet.
Tearing strips off people and seeking to hurt them is shameful. You can dress it up as part of a culture, and people need to toughen up etc. but everybody knows it's not ok.
I'm reminded of an episode of This American Life, where a bullied writer has a phone conversation with her online tormentor.
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/545/if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-say-it-in-all-caps
If you don't like Bo Beats or whomever, they're all very easy to avoid. Might be a less painful option for everybody.
I'm not a fan of Bo or other sensationalist synth reviewers but I've no need to attack the guy. Simply block his videos from appearing on my feed. Everyone has their thing and his thing ain't mine but I am not in a place to make him feel bad about it or vice versa. Tell youtube not to show his videos and done. no worries no problems.
Wow. I'm stunned the pettiness some people exhibit. This guy seems to be such a gentle soul; I have never heard him say a negative thing to anyone.
Long before online hate existed I was the target of the same hate, the hate of indiference, it is their unhappiness of their souls that they target us. Even though I know and recognise this, does little to curb the pain. My only suggestion is that we be kind and use the power of their hate and convert it into creative energy and expression.
Wow, this kinda devolved a bit.
Just don't be a deliberate dick in the comments ANYWHERE.
I don't really care if you like Bo's reviews or anyone else's or not, that's your choice which I RESPECT.
the GOLDEN rule: Don't be a dick.
I've only ever heard Bo give his own 2¢ on anything and always with respect and kindness.
+1
Yup.
+1000
Hunde bellen, Karawane zieht weiter (dogs bark, caravan moves on).
And for heaven’s sake, don’t structure your sense of self-worth around social media, it’s toxic, this place being one of the few exceptions. Agree with the not being a dick part.
My belief is that the people referred to are generally of a genre that will not, cannot or don't want to change. There will always be people out there like this and to be honest I think the best thing anyone can do is harden up. This is just focusing on the personal effects side of things. The impact on a business or YouTube channel etc is possibly a different matter.
I would like to believe that most of the online insults and other harassments are the fact of cruel children/teenagers who don't really understand the impacts of their acts...but I know that it is not the case and probably a lot of these guys are perfectly aware adults that are doing this because it makes them feel better...sad but true.
What kind of idiotic, low life scumbag posts hateful comments on a SYNTH channel?! You could understand it on some political forum where people's beliefs are being challenged (still stupid and immature), but on a hobbyist forum? Man, some people are truly lost out there.
Thing is, people have killed themselves because of this type of behaviour. There's many more that have been deeply harmed, sometimes for life, by bullies. I get what you mean about ignoring them, but that's with the belief that a lack of attention causes those people to look elsewhere. Clearly, that hasn't happened with those bullies that spend years chipping away at their targets.
I think it's important to stand up and be counted because not everyone has the ability to be heard. Not everyone has the ability to let this slide on by.
Personally, I'm not a fan of Bo Beats but so what? There are a hundred others that I can watch without him ever needing to know that. That said, I admire his fortitude in standing up for what he believes.
So is this guy an online "Influencer" (Sorry never heard of him, not my scene) that is paid to exist online, in a world that he knows is full of all this stuff, because you could post a video to youtube saying 1+1=2 and you will get hate mail, he chose to do this, to be paid to do this, or is he suggesting that online bullying started after he decided to do this ? (Yeah, go on, take this line and twist it to fit whatever narrative you want now)
Reminds me of one thing, that arrogant family that moves in to a house next to a pub, then complains non stop to the council about the noise from the pub.
Online bullies, interesting term, ONLINE bullies, go elsewhere, turn off the computer, seek help, if you aren't online........
But but but, shouldn't everywhere be all soft and fluffy clouds online, no, it shouldn't, it is what it is, get over it, go make your own community where you can police the so called bullies, or stop doing whatever it is you are doing and complaining about others.
@Turntablist I do agree with a lot of these sentiments.
Guard your gates. You put yourself out there to attract people then expect by sheer force of math and common sense that a certain percentage of it will be negative and even potentially horrendous/dangerous. Leave your doors unlocked for visitors and it is not all going to be a cool hippy dippy techno love fest.
"Kens" & "Karens" are everywhere. Some people just feel entitled to vent their issues on to others...
...as like it's always easier to blame any kind of issues on others rather than take a close look in the mirror and 'work on them'
I have to chalk some of this up to mental illness. I mean, the stakes are not that high on something as subjective as a video about synthesizers.
This is not to stigmatized
mental illness, either. I just think if “it means that much to you, “ when talking about a synthesizer video, you have a bigger problem than manners.
+1
100% this. That’s like saying that it’s ok to beat someone up just because he voluntarily chose to walk out the door.
Toxic online behavior is a scourge. Just because so many do it doesn’t mean it should be considered normal and that the onus is on you to grow a thicker skin. It’s good to call out shitty behavior. Ask yourself: what would Steven Seagal do?
I don't think anyone here said anything about anyone being 'fair game' just because they post online.
Curious that this morning I saw a post from a pixel artist on youtube where a dude disliked his video and posted about it before it went live, just because it would go live in a few days, and not now.
It may seem like a silly or small thing, but I don't think it is. This guy is breeding negativity for the sake of it. And it's something that in these days seems more recurring, and troubling.
No, he's not an "influencer," but I'm gathering by the scare quotes you put around the word you disapprove of the very idea. But even if he were: why should he have to put up with hate? He chose it, too bad? He's not Ben Shapiro, spewing disinformation and trying to stoke hatred. He's just a guy who really likes the Digitakt.
I think it's worth asking if we should just accept a world where it's expected that frustrated assholes throw shit grenades. I am in @audiblevideo's camp that we should model — well, maybe niceness is too much. Let's just not be dicks.
Huh, I just learned about "scare quotes".
To the point about mental issues: having a mental disorder is completely understandable. However, it does not justify or give anyone the right to be a dick.
I've been harrassed - fuck, it's still ongoing. I'm sure a few of you have seen my threads, but this cat literally ripped a video of mine off YouTube, slightly edited it to remove my face, and reposted it as his own. He has since taken to name calling, messaging me, talking shit about me, telling people I hate him, and actively asking people to "dislike" my YT videos, posting FB rants about me. He's offered app codes to people to dislike my YT videos. It's still happening - just got another message from him LAST WEEK.
It's been mentioned to me that he has a mental disorder, and that's fine - my condolences. However in this PARTICULAR instance, this has gone WAY beyond being a bit off-balance and is now full on harrassment. For this reason, I make the statement above that while you may be imbalanced, you don't have the right to take that out on people. I don't want to be insensitive, but as a YouTuber it's not my responsibility to manage this other person's disability, and I can't POSSIBLY make all my content so non-offensive as to please everyone.
So yeah, no reason to be slinging shit at Bo. He seems like a reasonable dude. "Your videos suck!" "You're stupid!" - ok, I expect those kind of comments. But when it goes beyond this into personal territory, then we've got a problem.