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Song Of The Month Club - September 2020
What is the Song of the Month Club?
It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.
The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.
The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.
All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.
We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material
And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine
Comments
My entry for the month, this is a song I wrote in 2015 in the early days of the Song Of The Month Club. Pretty much everything I wrote back then was rubbish, however when I listened back to this one I was pleasantly surprised, apart from the vocals it was pretty good. So I redid the vocals (I can sing a lot better now) and just tweaked the mix a bit.
Lyrics in the spoiler:
I'm sinking slowly
Into the cold sea
My mind is numb
My time has come
I'm all alone
Just flesh and bone
Dying is easy
A sleep that comes sweetly
A time to dwell
Beneath the swell
And peace will come
When I succumb
Sinking slowly in the sea
My life slipping away from me
And all the things I wished to see
It's not to be, it's not to be
Sinking slowly in the sea
My breath fading away from me
And all the things I wished to see
They are not to be
An endless abyss
A cold nocturnal kiss
A silent farewell
A soundless death knell
The void is gaping wide
Pulled down into the tide
An endless dreamless sleep
A rest down in the deep
Sinking slowly in the sea
My life slipping away from me
And all the things I wished to see
It's not to be, it's not to be
Sinking slowly in the sea
My breath fading away from me
And all the things I wished to see
They are not to be
Latest song: Flirting With Time, made in Bm3....I’m not sure if it’s complete yet or if it needs a little tweaking, hopefully you guys can shed some light on that
I’m gonna include the music video I made with videoleap in case you want some accompanying visuals hah
@richardyot love the ominous feel of this and the juxtaposition of that with tribal sounding percussion. Also love the dynamic use of instruments and the “quietness” of the singing...everything matches the theme very well. My one critique if your interested is that I think I breakdown somewhere in the middle where it changes up a bit might be really cool...but even so it sounds great as is
@richardyot this is one of my favorites from you. The lyrics, the feeling. It’s a little bit “looser” or something and I like it a lot.
@Polar well that was amazing. All in BM3? Wow. Desktop samples? Made me think a little bit of Fall in Love by Phantogram (maybe the beginning visuals). Only thing I might change would be somehow getting that last female vocal in key with the rest of the song.
Once again, I’m using Launchpad and its Soundpack samples for this month's song.
It's still very hit-or-miss with Launchpad. Either I can't figure out a way to make the samples cohere into something worth saving. Or I can't be in-the-moment enough to press the Launchpad buttons into something that's new or musical.
Update: I remixed the audio because it sounded muffled.
Got me tapping my feet. Hit your stride around 1:30 onward.
Some nice sample-based work here, good juxtapositions and well-chosen elements. The horns in particular are great, and so is the beat.
I would lose the scratched vinyl effect though, it's a bit annoying for me, especially as it is there for the whole track. Also I think the track is a bit too long, if it was me I would trim it a little more and make the whole arrangement a bit tighter.
But there's lots of nice hooky horn riffs and it's a fun and enjoyable track to listen to.
Interesting collage, that sounds polished yet disjointed at the same time. Lots of sounds and textures and angular melodies.
https://youtu.be/EWj-50hoLaM
Like a moroder soundtrack, dope!
Like the feel of the track. Hard to separate the visuals for me from the game Journey - which has an amazing soundtrack itself. Have to close my eyes.
My entry for this month, lyrics by @richardyot. I composed performed and arranged exclusively on ipad
Listen to Box Of Things by JanKun on #SoundCloud
@richardyot The instrumentation here is pretty sweet. A solid sense of depth here. I think it’s my favorite of yours so far.
@Polar Oh damn. This is badass. Great composition, very groovy. I do think the bass and kick could be brought forward a bit more. But otherwise solid stuff.
Only giving feedback for these since the others didn’t give any feedback for anyone else.
Here’s my newest one. I’m pretty proud of the mixing on this. I’m happy with the instrumental version but I always want to have a version with samples vocals, like a news story or something. Just haven’t decided what so far.
@DukeWonder this is great! Love the ominous feeling of it. U somehow managed to turn seemingly a 4 bar loop into a full coherent and still interesting and dynamic song...which is soooo hard lol. Also the mixing is fantastic, dat bass! I think vocal samples would really make this stand out, maybe also a rain effect (?) lol.
Also thanks for your feedback, mixing is very new to me so it’s great to get some notes on that
Haha yeaah that’s my lane right now, simple but interesting. Starting to branch out with some more complex melodies in my newer stuff but this first album is going to be really simple. Some rain might be a fun addition. I’ll definitely think about that.
Sure thing. You definitely have your highs and mids in check. That low end can be tricky. This is the first track of mine where I really felt like I got it right. But you’ll find that sweet spot for sure.
@richardyot
"Sinking Slowly 2020" - Very nice feel to this song although the subject matter isn't so. I really love the bass. It works so well giving this piece that bounce that otherwise it will definitely lack. The cello like instrument at the beginning really sets the mood. And i like how the percussive instruments are hard panned differently. It gives a a lot of dept to this piece. Your singing is great, too. I'd have preferred a little bit more variation (and shorter length) but having said that I think the bell-like synth, the piano and the synth at the end added to give variation. Top notch work!
@Polar
"Flirting with time" - Wow nice! Hooverphonic meets Supreme Beings of Leisure meets Groove Armada. Need I say more? Well, of course! The arrangements was really engaging and kept me interested and grooving. The horns were so good. I mean damn! Are they all samples? And at 2:20 that little break: perfect! Solid piece of work!
@DukeWonder
"Ghosties" - That thick gooey bass! Love it! When it kicks it it almost feels like the tempo is sucked into it for a while. And this bass really complements the synths. The tension created between the 1st and 4th of G minor (I think?) as they go back and forth gives this piece a dark feel but doesn't feel like it is hanging on to that tension at any point because of that. If I were nitpicking I'd say that ending could use a little bit more work. Awesome piece!
Thank you all for sharing your music and sharing your comments on other people's work.
Here's my entry to Song of the Month September 2020.
Something a little different this time. This piece started life back in April as one of a series of challenges between a friend and I in which the idea was to create a piece of music less than 2 minutes long using two instruments. The original was created using just E-piano and one other instrument in Am. Each track playing different phrases and melodies came in as the piece progressed - exploring different melodic ideas at various registers. I found it again while going through the songs on Korg Gadget and here it is now rearranged with a little bit of embellishment added for interest. Thank you for listening
The title is inspired by Asimov's Foundation trilogy.
@spyrogaia Thanks for the feedback. That “sucked in” feeling is exactly what I was going for, like the bass created a vacuum for the drums. Glad that came through. Curious what you would recommend for the outro.
I like yours. Great composition with the various instruments. Would be great for a movie. Only gripe is the one instrument you have that’s panned left. It is panned a bit too far in my opinion so it feels a bit out of place.
Nice that you let us visit your archives. All the foundation of your sound was already there. I tend to prefer the type of sounds your using now, they sound a bit warmer to me.
But even back then, you already had a great sense of songwriting. And your arrangements serve the song very well, i especially like the slow attack synth layer which create a perfect landscape for your voice. really delicate.
And as usual, your voice sounds so like... You. So recognisable. To me, it is really what makes your work so unique.
Thank you for letting me use one of your writings. If you have more somewhere on your notebooks...
Cheers
Nicely done ! another proof that Bm3 is an amazing app.
Also great choice of samples and textures, and nice sample manipulation.
I like the "texture" of the drums in general but a bit more kick and bass please!
It could nice to use vinyl crackle as an instrument, if possible come in and out.
In terms of mix, after Listening with headphones, I would like to feel more space. With the kick and bass pushed ahead in the mix and then spread different elements a bit more with pan and create some contrast with EQ, and using different reverbs (I think the vocals deserve longer reverb)
Really nice groove and dynamic !
Hard to believe that everything is done in Launchpad. I'd like to see a video of you sharing with the community some of your tricks.
Not much to say here. The length and Dynamic are really perfect with A huge diversity of sounds to keep the listener busy. I particularly like the snare sound really snappy and in your face.
The mix is really good, especially the work on the pan.
Keep them coming!
As usual, Du beau boulot !
Really like the pad texture and the mix.
Just one thing, a bit too short !
What a bass ! I also like the choice you made with the drums programming. You start with a syncopated pattern first and then end up with a really straight one. Really Interesting idea.
The mix is really good !
My only wish : around the second half of the track, I was hoping to hear something happening in the upper middle, maybe some pad to keep my ears busy.
Really nice track!
Mistake, sorry
Really good composition. Really cinematic. I like the interaction between all those melodics phrases.
Since it is really cinematic I kind of understand the crescendo effect. But at some point, I wished for some drop in the dynamic and then instead of tympani kind of percussions, I was kind of hoping for electronic drums that could have taken the track somewhere else.
I really like the synths textures you chose.
@JanKun
This is a beauty. It’s like a Radiohead track! Sweet yet dark, and all the different elements compliment each other perfectly. Awesome
@spyrogaia this is very cool. Reminds me of an alt-j interlude...and I love how it builds yet is still separated in its individual elemnts(dunno if that makes sense hah) The composition is really something...also it sounds way better than a typical Korg gadget sound in terms of the mix
Nice atmospheric piece. The melody is haunting.