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Comments
@Bluepunk Thanks for the comments. I was quite happy with the filthy guitars!
@richardyot Thanks for those constructive comments. Yeah I guess those drums could do with a bit more grit and pound.
I'm hoping my foray into Auria Pro and fabfilters might help with my drum and overall production.
@trackedout Good loose feel to this. Is that reverse sounds going on throughout? They make the song have a strange edge to it. A lot more going on here than first meets the ear. Clearer vocals than before and that's great too.
You might want to have a look at the GarageBand Drummer - export a mix of your track with no drums, import into GB, set the project tempo and add a Drummer track. Then just play around with the different drummers and styles, Kyle or Mason might be good on this track. It's the easiest way to create really lifelike and dynamic drums on iOS, and I think doing this would really bring a lot of life and dynamism to your song.
This is a great tip, it's been a long time since I've used GB, and I don't think this feature existed last time I did.
Does GB allow you to export just the drum track back into another DAW to finish mixing?
Yes, just mute the other tracks and export the song as a lossless AIFF. It's a 16 bit stereo track, not 24bit stems, but it's still OK. I often use some Pro MB in Auria to further tweak the resulting stereo drum track.
Cheers @richardyot I started off in GB and those drummers are great to jam with. I have sliced bits up from the drummers and used them in the past so I might make a slight return.
thanks! what a great encouraging comment to read while eating breakfast!! I feel propelled to do more. 谢谢我的朋友们
Richard!! Thanks! And no more spoken word for me after this
Some throwaway chillout, lyrics (such as they are) in the spoiler.
Take me where the air is thin
And take me where the void begins
I want to fly away from here
And shed this earthly atmosphere
And leave the planet out of sight
To drift into the endless night
So take me where the air is thin
And take me where the end begins
@richardyot A lovely laid back track. The ooh and aah type keyboards are very effective, reminded me of 10cc.
Those off-key bells give a nice spooky edge towards the end! Sounded like the toys from hell were rising up!
As for constructive criticism, what did you use for the bass guitar? Sounds a little robotic to me. If that's how you intended it to sound, then that's fine, but it felt like it could do with being humanised a bit. On further listening, it's just the higher bass notes, the lower bass riff is fine. Is it GB bass? I've found those sounds are great on the lower samples but not so much the higher ones.
Edit - I love the drugged out sound to the vocals, sounded like a slight radio effect on them too. Works great.
Thanks, @richardyot @theconnactic for the kind words. As goofy as this song is, it has been real slog. Glad to know something about it is working.
Now that the family's off visiting, I finally have a few moment to review:
@Shaken&;Stirred
Dug the heavier portions the most. I like how your voice blends with the harder guitars, kind of a Bob Mould thing.
@rickwaugh
I find the writing notation to be very interesting. Seems a great way to avoid inadvertent influences in your work (unless you like reading other peoples notation, I suppose). I also like the 3/4 time, which you actually have to try to hear at this bpm. At this speed it seems to heighten tension. There is not much in the way of emotional shifts (swells, key changes, or timing) but it is a song about machines after all, so I let that go, although I would like the lead instrument to give way to a different tone or treatment in there somewhere.
@marliess
Pretty fun stuff. I would probably bring the guitars up. I notice that your voice and the guitars pretty much match up in rhythm and note throughout the song. It works well for this type of song, but I might try having them do their own thing at times, as it may improve the effect you get when they do go in lock-step.
@studs1966
Sounds professional. Vocal sound good, and everything goes well together. I have to say I'm not a fan of the crash symbol— I might find one with a longer tail, put a little shimmery reverb on it, then maybe pan it across as it plays to add life.
@theconnactic
Like this quite a bit. The sig and key changes really walked the song along and kept it interesting. Was that a 4/4 to a 2/4? Dunno. Not strong on that stuff, but I'm quite sure you know what you're doing. I also like when a bridge/solo gets replayed at in different keys. I need to try one of those. One thing I might suggest is panning the drums around a bit. They're all sitting in the middle a bit too much for my ears.
@DefRobot
I think the quick process is working for you. Sounds fresh. I'd maybe space out the drums in the sound field and give all the instruments some shared reverb. I find a lot of songs' parts are so well recorded that they sound separate from each other— something needs to pull them all into the same space again.
I like how the overdubbed vocals in the chorus. I wouldn't be afraid to try it throughout, then adding even more in the chorus. You might also want an organ bed in the chorus for a bit of swell.
@JohnnyGoodyear
Your songs, even when they are still sketches like this one, alway seem to occupy the same space. Well chosen components with similar sonic treatments. I rather like the song as it is, taking it as more of a quiet b-side. I did want something new, like a light bed of strings by the third verse, or a bass piano during the chorus. Wasn't a fan of the staccatto snare at mid verse, but I think your instincts are right— just want something a little less jarring. Maybe use the brushed snare there, too? The drums could use a touch of humanizing filter magic. Picking nits.
@Bluepunk
Another great dollop of unique. I really wish you'd add the lyrics in a spoiler. Not that I can't make out what you're singing. It would just look great on screen. Dig the gear changes throughout, more the better in my opinion— almost becomes like a Beat cut-up technique thing. I'm still going to bug you for some voice work. Just need a couple things off my plate first.
@crouchie
I like how that bouncy bass and drums dance together. Works. Longish, but it mixes up enough, and I give instrumentals more leeway in this regard. I'd listen to this whilst motorcycling in the woods… assuming I had one.
@richardyot
Very cohesive sounds, and works well as casual jam. The bass stands out to me as being less interesting. I wanted a touch of flange or something. just me. I wish I were more an auto tune fan, but it seems a little too prominent. Can it be dialed back so that it doesn't stair step the notes quite so much during the quicker phrasings?
@aaronpc Why thank you. Worthlittle? Please change the little to a lot. For some reason, the 'listen in browser' option ain't playing so can't follow your words. Shame.. shrewd lyrics from a canny artist. The Drill Square intro sets the scene... Left, Right, Left, Right, into a drum riff not heard since Steve White in 'Changing Man.' A double snare roll (faster in your case) at the end of some lines. Very cool indeed. The flawlessly mixed hats appear to be attached to ALL other instruments, each accepting their own velocities. Cannot stop tapping to the damn thing. The deep, haunting flanks to your main chorus vocals.... is that you? Couldn't make out the words at 1.52 but I could the rest after a few plays. Whack 'em up and be proud. You have every right to. Yes, please give us the solo and choir but the video with exploding Molotov cocktail bottles has me salivating. Deep joy.
Mind, if this heroic tune took three years and you're still not 100%, will I receive the vocal call before dribbling occurs naturally?
You Sir are a musical nutcase (in the best possible way) and take risks. Much applause from these shores.
Thanks @aaronpc. I have no doubt you are being kind, but Your songs, even when they are still sketches like this one, alway seem to occupy the same space. sounds like some sort of damnation
Or at least the sort of notion to make a chap delve back deep in self-consciousness....nothing that a few months obsessing over won't cure 
I can see how you got that wrong. Sorry for the lack of clarity, but it was getting pretty late and I was a bit under the weather. That comment was a knock on from the previous review, and I was actually complimenting your mix and how your voice and instruments all sound like they are sonically occupying the same physical space.
Mixing a song these days is a little like trying to create a fake photoshop from a bunch of found photos. If you don't take care to color balance the individual image as you put them all together, you're not going to fool anyone. We're doing the same thing with all of these apps. They each have their own sonic "color" to them, so we have to be mindful that they don't just sound like audio files playing atop each other. I don't know what you do to account for it, but your mixes always seem natural in this way.
Oh, I also didn't mean anything by calling it a sketch. I just meant it didn't sound labored over— something that I do and wish I didn't. [EDIT- "effortless" is maybe a better word? I'm shit at this.] I should probably read through all my reviews last night and make sure I didn't piss anybody else off. This is what happens when I write quickly.
@aaronpc Not at all pissed off my friend. Always just trying to hear with other people's honest ears
I am guessing that we are like the two girls who have straight hair and curly hair, both wishing they had the other. You apply precision and care, whereas you see or guess me to be more carefree, while I wish I could bring what I imagine to be your level of concentration and craft. It's why people work well in bands, one plus one makes three. It's also why bands break up 
Very nice chillout track. I like the vibe. Seems like something that might be expanded on, or transition in to something else. I might have put less fx on the vocals, but I was able to understand the lyrics, so it's all good. Brought back memories of the Cocteau Twins. nice work!
@richardyot, that's a lovely little tune. Mix is perfect. It might be simple, but everything is in it's place, and it's got a chill, comfortable feel to it. Like what you did with the background vocals.
OT: Wish I had something to contribute this month, but would it be at all possible to combine Song of the Month Club and Covers Club into one thread, where you can submit one cover and/or one original per month?
@serosin, like the sounds and mix, but I kept expecting it to go somewhere else. Very laidback, which may have been your intent, but I do feel it needed to either be shorter, or have some kind of break or intensity change.
@marliess Didn't open LumaFusion in anger until last weekend and as you know, me and tech are NOT Ant and Dec. Thank you to you for sending me your files, and to Lord Word for all of his thoughts and knowledge he has kindly shared. Absolutely NO substance to my review (as usual) because I haven't a clue about musical technicals. More about feeling and fun. Your song told me the way to go. Thanks. Great tune. Heard it a lot.
OMFG that is the most epic review ever. You're a natural @Bluepunk, so full of charisma and even more eccentric than I had imagined. You have a very bright future ahead of you as a world-famous Youtuber, it's going to be epic.
More of these please.
Cheers gaffer. Most of it was beginners luck on the tech side but if someone (me) who is a numpty can get something from LumaFusion, anyone can. Not sure I can do a vid every month but I WILL drop EVERYTHING and record one if the right 9 minute instrumental comes along.
Exactly right.
He IS a natural, or maybe an UNnatural, a species unto himself entire. I feel ridiculous beginning a review of a review, but hey, post-modern meta-irony, may Mister Foster Wallace forgive me.
This reminds me a bit of the first season of Homeland: Stop right there! Never make another. It's art. It's stand alone. It's perfect.
Except I want more. The Collected Best Of. The Compleat Compendium. The Boxed Enchilada. Hey, at least we can say we were there right at the start....
The bar, Mister Punk, has been set!
Not stopping there. Purchased three rusty breakfast bar stools from a car boot in Shepton Mallet. One needs stripping to clear decades of the previous owners OCD of dropping deep fat fried chip residue into the bearing housing which is preventing the bastard from spinning freely. Once it's been reborn, I'll take on SOTMC; The Voice. You've all been warned. Get your highly polished singing shoes on. Have the coaches/interrogators sorted and they have refused to take prisoners. All female (of course). Vag the Veg is Nina Myskow without pink clothes..... ANY clothes.
Feel like i was blessed today to walk for 30 seconds in the shadow of greatness, @Bluepunk . Epic. I'm inspired to do a Katy Perry cover next month called 'He took the piss and i liked it'. Loved it!
@Bluepunk Reviews of reviews!
Reviews ARE an art form. Expressing what is good or bad, so that the listener is intrigued or put off.
Your critiques inspire investigation because of the prose and EMOTION you put into the reviews.
It's why I used to prefer NME or Melody Maker reviews rather than Q magazine or Sounds.
See also Hunter S Thompson and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas etc.
It's about the passion. Making the reader (and now viewer!) believe what you are telling them.
And you sir, are making believers of all of us!
@richardyot Throwaway lyrics? Um, no. Took something important from ALL your words. You made the time/effort to write them, and I will feel them. The bass is memorable and a riff that Guy Berryman might steal from you. May benefit from a loosening of the strings and go off on one but would it shake the foundations of the song too much. Whatever, it's a gorgeous sounding thing and when you push in the haunting melody alongside at 1.47, the bass glues the seams together. I'm trying to understand these things.... Is the 'haunting' accompaniment in the same Key etc? Sounds like it shouldn't go but my life, does it! Expected the words to join in at 0.21, then at 0.32. An uncommon intro (length) makes the listener think as to where the song is heading. Like that. Vocally, vocoding volunteers itself willingly to your song. Agree with Def and second his drugged out comment about them. The moment you deliver a word, a warming, misty breeze takes over coating each one with crack flavoured candy floss.
Your song has 'aching qualities' to ingest. Huge thanks for making me feel that.
@Bluepunk - thanks. I'm imagining the video review of that post.