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Song Of The Month Club - December 2018
What is the Song of the Month Club?
It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.
The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.
The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.
All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.
We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material
And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine.
Comments
My entry for the month, shoegazey and unpolished:
Quite different from my last couple of entries I think, using my goto trio of Zeeon, Poison-202, and Model D. Sit back, relax, and go for a sail...
Shoegazey indeed, Richard! Loved how crisp the drums are in this one, specially the snare, and your voice adds for a retro, nostalgic tone. Talking about tone, is it a synth or a heavilly FX’d guitar? Congrats!
Very beautiful e-piano and theremin. Bravo!
This is my entry: recorded on Auria Pro using an Apogee interface, MX mics, a JTM-30, a Boss DR-5, a UMX-610 and my faithfull strat and precision clones. Enjoy!
https://open.spotify.com/album/20i1IDW4f34eMGfw1xONW0?nd=1
Thanks - the sound is the Faded Keys preset in GB Alchemy, I used it because it sounds like a shoegaze guitar (I added some additional chorus on it for good measure).
Indeed, the sound was spot on!
Ok
So, ANOTHER 9 min piece. I'm going to edit the final down so I guess this is the first draft.
I'm not too happy with the drums. One of the Mid Eastern drums is a little too boomy in the beginning. Also, while I like some of the asynchronicity of the drums, I think another tighter part would be good.
Several of the synth lines are getting drowned out. I think I'll make a B section for the baseline (that sounds like a melody line which runs throughout) and do either a call and response or just drop the melodic baseline out.
And finally from the self critique the solo trumpet. 😳🙄😑
Gotta fix that melody line by using another sequencer. Autony either lost the settings I had or I have now changed my mind about its suitability.
From Beatles straight to Zeppelin in one beat. Wasn't expecting that, but nice.
Commented on soundcloud -- Nice Wakeman-ish lead!
I picked up shades of The Doors in this one, especially the intro. The gritty vocals really give it a dark edge. The note choice for “find” in “just can’t find the way” grew on me, then you changed it up, and then went back! I probably found that a lot cooler than you intended, but wanted to mention it anyway. Our styles are kind of polar opposites but I always enjoy your work. Great job on the track!
Been having some writers block, but hope to post something this month. Anyway will review and comment!
Like the song, I agree with the nice snare coming through the mix. Vocals are nicely done and like the synth sounds.
I found the kick drum not coming through though?
Also some pumping sound at about :39?
I like the chord progression, simple and effective. Melody is also good and melody variation all throughout is good.
I thought the synth sound that comes in at :25 with the melody is mixed too loud...also that same sound I think is too loud throughout the song. I would bump it down a bit.
Also, for my personal taste, it was a bit dry? Maybe more reverb or delay on the snare?
Wow, nice! You are quite the guitar player! Also vocals sound really good. Especially the 3 part harmony in the beginning.
The drums sound quite real. I think they are iOS then enhanced somehow?
I like it, even though it’s not quite my style of music. The mix is pretty clean...I’m searching for the boomy drums and I think I hear them, but not quite sure how to fix. Does is stick out in the frequency spectrum? Can a compressor tame it?
Thanks for the listen - you've got good ears, the "find" on the first variation of the chorus is out of key, I struggled with that because it didn't sound right any other way (I tried singing it higher and lower and it didn't work). No matter though, I'm sure I'll discard this song anyway, it's too raw and unpolished and I don't think it's strong enough to redo.
Very nice track, great lead melodies there, especially the interweaving duelling theremin/synth lead. The main lead anchors the track really nicely as the other sounds come in and out around it, and there's also some nice changes of pace that really let the track breathe. It's great when an instrumental takes you on a journey, and this one certainly does, it's very well structured. Probably your best contribution to the SOTMC to date IMO.
Lots of contrast here, from the intro harmony to the rocky chorus via the quiet verse all in the space of a single minute. I think the verse would be better if there was a little more groove in the drums (even if was just a hihat groove) but otherwise it's pretty cool, I like all the different sounds and textures and the changes that go from quiet and pretty to loud and rocky.
Here goes my contribution.... You guys know what’s coming?.....
As it’s the month of Christmas..... Here’s a Bonus Mix of the same song.... Enjoy Guys..
Hello mate, u are the king of shoegaze on this ere forum and this is true to form. I like the synth part, but I wanted a break from it now and again. Good stuff buddy!
Hello mate, I love the title! I hate sailing, thank God I didn’t feel that way about your track!🤪😆🎶👍🏻🎶 Lots of cool stuff going on, I like that I didn’t really know where the track was going. I wasn’t crazy about the drums if I’m honest, I didn’t mind what they were playing I just didn’t like the kit, sounded a bit too high endy to my ears, (personal pref of course.👍🏻) I would have played around with filtering off that high end to give it an under the water kinda sound. Other than that I enjoyed it mate. Nice one! 🎶👊🏻🎶😄
Nice! Great dynamics between verses and choruses. Awesome guitar solo! I wasn’t crazy about the vocal section after the solo, I’d have preferred the chorus again as imo it’s stronger than what you have there now. Just my two cents mate! I always enjoy your stuff!😄🎶👊🏻🎶
Hello everyone,
This song is born of a conversation I had with my 3 year old son recently. I’m a window cleaner by trade and he thinks that I also clean the moon!! ;D
The song is weird in terms of structure...the hooks weird...but I wanted to have a beat in there that my boy might actually wanna shake his little butt too! Haha!
All thoughts are welcome and thanks as always.
Lyrics.
Last night my three year old came marching up to me
He said daddy you clean the moon right?
And I was like, yeah that’s what I do....I clean the moon!
He said well next time you go, I’m coming too...
Listen daddy I’m serious, I’ve been a busy boy!
I’ve been practicing on all my cars, cleaning all my toys
I’ve made them nice and shiny, and I think I’m ready!
Plus mummy says you can use the help
She’ll hold the ladder steady.
I wanna climb high, up there with you
And make the world a little brighter just like you do
And when we have cleaned the moon...I’ll clean the stars
You can keep the moon daddy...I want the stars!
I know it’s very high and space pirates fill the sky
But I’m not scared of them, no daddy, I’ve got Bonkers and you
And I know Kung Fu! ....right.
Well then if that’s the case my boy you’ve got the job.
Come meet me by my ladder, don’t forget your hat and scarf
Cos it’s cold up there and dangerous sometimes
But I know pirates don’t like dinosaurs, so they won’t steal our shine.
Come on let’s climb high, I’ll show you the view
You make the whole world brighter, by just being you
And when we have cleaned the moon and it shines like the sun
If you want the stars....you take ‘em.
Wow...that is a fantastic song. No critiques at all. Is it in stores/streaming?
I’ve decided to spend more time here in creations because I feel like I have a lot to learn from you all, but I want to give back first before I post anything.
@richardyot - Amazing driving song. Could drive to Vegas with this on blast and not just because of the name. Vocal feels a little weird in the mix on my Bose headphones but it also feels strangely right. That doesn’t make sense. It sits weird in the mix, but it’s a lovely vocal recording as well.
@obijohn - Puts me back into my Lacoste shirt with sweater around the neck, Ray-bans with croakies and Sperry topsiders. I’m in 80’s heaven. This is a beautiful track, that’s almost marred by the totally self-indulgent solo-jamming but which is totally forgiven by how good it all sounds.
@theconnactic - Always love your work but this goes on my Spotify playlist. It’s like a post-punk era musical. Totally listenable while also totally rockable.
@audiblevideo - I’d jam with you any day, you seem like you’re completely in the moment with this piece (something my own creations sorely lack) but I feel like my ears got fatigued with everything going on. A bit too much to really enjoy the moments of brilliance.
@studs1966 - Kinda wish I was you with this one. I’ve been studying soulful house music lately and impressed with how tricky it is to get right. You nailed it in my opinion. Amazing how well this adapts to different styles too.
@LostBoy85 - Woah! Amazing song. You’re super talented. I don’t have any constructive criticism and I expect amazing things from you in the future!
Another great tune "Young Fella Me lad"!....
Thanks Rob... Very Much appreciated...
I like the strings and EP! No much to say, sounds really good!
I love this song! Fantastic work.