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My worst songs of the 80s

edited October 2023 in Other Music Content

My ten worst hit songs of the 80s, just off the top of my head, in any order.

  1. New Kids on the Block- Hangin' Tough- If you have to tell people you're tough, you're not

2) Club Nouveau - ”Lean on Me - They made this sound something you'd hear at a DARE rally...wtf this is lame

3) Starship – “We Built This City”- They built this city on rock and roll...and tore it down with this disaster

4) USA for Africa – “We Are the World” - Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan were on this, and I keep forgetting that...probably because I turn it off pretty quick. This became a meme before there was such a thing

5) Anything Milli Vanilli put out- no matter who was singing, this shit was LAME

6) Will to Power – “Baby, I Love Your Way / Freebird Medley (Free Baby)” - BWAHAHAAHAHAAHA

7) Christopher Cross – “Arthur’s Theme” - Features the immortal lyrics "If you get caught between the Moon and New York City/The best that you can do, The best that you can do is fall in love". Yeah, bet

8) Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes – “Up Where We Belong” - It's funny if you do an imitation of Tom Waits singing Cocker's lines.

9) Steve Winwood – “Roll With It”- There's a scene in the forgotten Dabney Coleman movie "Short Time" where a boy is singing along with this song while wearing shades and it's CRINGE AF. That boy later grew up to play one of WWE wrestler Kane's victims in the movie See No Evil 2. Seriously

10) Chicago- Look Away. The biggest hit of the post Peter Cetera years doesn't even have Cetera's replacement on lead vocals...it's Bill Champlin, whose only other claim to fame is being a complete dick to Brian Wilson (the musical genius, not the pitcher). Yeah fuck this song

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Comments

  • You sound like you fell into the cynicism of 2023. All of those songs are pretty enjoyable confections (though I’m not sure I’ve heard the Club Nouveau one). Have fun a little, get a little ridiculous

  • To each their own. I don’t know how old you are but some of us grew up with these songs. Even though they might not fit the definition of good for everyone, they have nostalgic value.

  • @oat_phipps said:
    You sound like you fell into the cynicism of 2023. All of those songs are pretty enjoyable confections (though I’m not sure I’ve heard the Club Nouveau one). Have fun a little, get a little ridiculous

    Fair enough and I agree but also a cheeky list of “worst” cheesy 80s songs is harmless as far as modern cynicism goes. I grew up in the 90s and lord knows there was some stinkers coming out then. Doesn’t some from enjoying them now though 😂

  • Okay, I'll give you credit that yeah, New Kids on the Block and Milli Vanilli are a bit lame, and some of the other songs are rather "just okay", but bro. "Up Where We Belong"? "We Are the World"? You consider those rubbish? You and I are definitely not the same. 😂

    I'll second @reezygle 's sentiment in wondering how old you are. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say either over 70 years old where you were too old for those songs, or more likely under 25 where you think your parents' songs were lame.

    Okay then, have fun listening to Doja Cat, Bad Bunny, Drake and other animal-named artists as well as to all the "Lil's" out there on the current Billboard 100.

  • @jwmmakerofmusic said:
    Okay then, have fun listening to Doja Cat, Bad Bunny, Drake and other animal-named artists as well as to all the "Lil's" out there on the current Billboard 100.

    🤣

  • I do like We built this city a lot 😉

    I just realized I don't know the name of those songs that annoyed me in the 80s.

  • edited October 2023

    There are actually a couple I don't know by name here, but among the ones I do know, there are some bona fide classics in this list, man! 😂 Edit - after checking the few I didn't know by name, I know all the tunes except the last one on the list

    None are things I would ever even consider seeking out and listening to, nor things I ever owned (as a kid growing up in the 80s) but if I heard most of these in the background when at a bar or a cafe or whatever, I would for sure be nodding and humming along and enjoying the trip down memory lane. Hell yes! The majority of these are stone cold pop classics in terms of catchiness.

  • @ecou said:
    I do like We built this city a lot 😉

    I just realized I don't know the name of those songs that annoyed me in the 80s.

    We built this City is hella fun! Definitely!

  • wimwim
    edited October 2023

    @Gavinski said:

    We built this City is hella fun! Definitely!

    omg ... gag 🤢

  • wimwim
    edited October 2023

    I totally checked out during the 80's due to raising young kids while moving around between countries. I'm so glad I missed 'em.

    I'm not sayin' the music itself was bad but it sure ain't my thing. I swear, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, if there's a song playing somewhere that I begin to notice is irritating the hell out of me, I ask or look it up and sure as shit it's from the 80s. Personal taste and all that.

    Except for Huey Luis and the News ... most of it.

  • @wim said:

    @Gavinski said:

    We built this City is hella fun! Definitely!

    gag 🤢

    Lol! "We Built This City" is one of those "just okay" songs. Fun song, but I'd not listen to it more than twice in a year let's just say. However I'll take "We Built This City" over "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" anytime during the holiday season.

  • @jwmmakerofmusic said:
    Okay, I'll give you credit that yeah, New Kids on the Block and Milli Vanilli are a bit lame, and some of the other songs are rather "just okay", but bro. "Up Where We Belong"? "We Are the World"? You consider those rubbish? You and I are definitely not the same. 😂

    I'll second @reezygle 's sentiment in wondering how old you are. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say either over 70 years old where you were too old for those songs, or more likely under 25 where you think your parents' songs were lame.

    Okay then, have fun listening to Doja Cat, Bad Bunny, Drake and other animal-named artists as well as to all the "Lil's" out there on the current Billboard 100.

    A lot of the “Lil’s” are really good. Lil Peep (RIP) has some classics under his belt. And I can’t lie and say I’m not a Doja or Drake fan either lol both of them have some songs I love.

    When it comes to music I choose not to discriminate or feel “guilty” for listening to anything I like. That’s why I dislike the term “guilty pleasures”. I judge more an a per song/album/artist basis and not on same, genre, style. My playlist on Spotify has like 20,000 and there’s nearly every genre on there form country and bluegrass to experimental harsh noise back to pop and pop punk and everything in between lol

    When I start hating on music is when it feels like a product and there’s no genuine emotion behind it. When an artist makes music solely for money or for the label, it’s soulless and I can’t gel with that.

  • This feels like confessional thread, and I have a complicated relationship with this song from 1986 and those drums at 2:00. It's bad... but... somehow...I like the piano.
    https://youtube.com/watch?v=JyTzmhFQt2o

    By the same bloke that wrote Eastenders, sung by an actor from Eastenders.

  • Don't be rude with Bacharach please

  • Cheese, crackers, lovely. The 80’s were a musical technological revolution.

  • @wim said:

    @Gavinski said:

    We built this City is hella fun! Definitely!

    omg ... gag 🤢

    Lmao agreed, Wim. I am not a fan of that song.

  • edited October 2023

    @belldu said:
    This feels like confessional thread, and I have a complicated relationship with this song from 1986 and those drums at 2:00. It's bad... but... somehow...I like the piano.
    https://youtube.com/watch?v=JyTzmhFQt2o

    By the same bloke that wrote Eastenders, sung by an actor from Eastenders.

    You crack me up! I don't think I've heard this since I was 12 years old. Too funny.

    Here's the first 7" record I got with my own money the year before. All those 'long, long, longs' in the chorus... Awful. The sounds are still pretty cool though.

  • @wim said:
    I totally checked out during the 80's due to raising young kids while moving around between countries. I'm so glad I missed 'em.

    I'm not sayin' the music itself was bad but it sure ain't my thing. I swear, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, if there's a song playing somewhere that I begin to notice is irritating the hell out of me, I ask or look it up and sure as shit it's from the 80s. Personal taste and all that.

    Except for Huey Luis and the News ... most of it.

    "You like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

    In '87, Huey released "Fore!", their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself."

  • @gusgranite said:

    @belldu said:
    This feels like confessional thread, and I have a complicated relationship with this song from 1986 and those drums at 2:00. It's bad... but... somehow...I like the piano.
    https://youtube.com/watch?v=JyTzmhFQt2o

    By the same bloke that wrote Eastenders, sung by an actor from Eastenders.

    You crack me up! I don't think I've heard this since I was 12 years old. Too funny.

    Here's the first 7" record I got with my own money the year before. All those 'long, long, longs' in the chorus... Awful. The sounds are still pretty cool though.

    On the other hand, this was a real favorite when I was a kid. Loved this song.

  • You did all those songs? Yes they were shit, you should be ashamed of yourself

  • You want the absolute worst song of the 80s (or, in fact, any decade) ? Well, here it is:

  • Many of those mentioned were truly terrible. For me the mid-80s especially was a time of style over substance.

    I loved a lot of pop music from the earliest that I heard to the early 80s, then started to find less and less that I liked. Thankfully artists like Prince, the Smiths, etc. kept my interest, but shallow, glossy rock acts just left me cold.

    Thankfully in the very late 80s there was a growth of less polished indie rock and underground dance music.

  • edited October 2023

    Errr...
    Japan
    Pet Shop Boys
    The Triffids
    Etc etc etc

  • edited October 2023

    @HotStrange said:

    @wim said:

    @Gavinski said:

    We built this City is hella fun! Definitely!

    omg ... gag 🤢

    Lmao agreed, Wim. I am not a fan of that song

    This is the version I sing nowadays, when I hear the song playing on the radio.

  • It’s interesting to note that Milli Vanilli was created by the same person, Frank Farian, who had previously created that other lip synching act Boney M. Interesting examples as we possibly move towards more and more virtual acts acting as a front for song writers?

  • I hated "We Are The World" but so many people have torn it down that I don't feel it worth commenting.

    It's all low-hanging fruit, but along with the above, my #1 hated is "We Built This City". It masks itself as "rock" song by being about "rock n' roll" without having any kind of rock sensibility (which was pretty broad at the time). While a rock sensibility is not superior to a show tune sensibility, it makes the sentiments expressed incredibly cloying and insincere. I don't like it much as a show tune either, but I have less background in this form. And it's not especially clear which city it's about (San Francisco, LA?). I think Grace Slick trades lead vocals which is just incredibly sad - the last notable remnant of Jefferson Airplane (then Jefferson Starship, then Starship), relegated as a quasi bit player (Hey look everyone - we got Grace Slick to lend this song some cred!) in this Mickey Thomas-led gold lame poop-storm.

  • edited October 2023

    Although in a way I find it “cheesy” and both stories are a bit sad: I do like Boney M and Milli Vanilli (especially “Girl you know it’s true”). Both acts were very successful from a commercial point of view. When it comes to moral and ethics well, just watch one of the documentaries about Frank Farian and make up your mind yourself.

    When talking about bad or “wrong” acts and songs I’ve got another one for you, Modern Talking with its Italo vibes.

  • @Bietfriek said:
    Although in a way I find it “cheesy” and both stories are a bit sad: I do like Boney M and Milli Vanilli (especially “Girl you know it’s true”). Both acts were very successful from a commercial point of view. When it comes to moral and ethics well, just watch one of the documentaries about Frank Farian and make up your mind yourself.

    When talking about bad or “wrong” acts and songs I’ve got another one for you, Modern Talking with its Italo vibes.

    Taking the "fabricated bands" idea back a bit further, remember The Monkees? Farian was creating a product, and this kind of thing was not new.

  • edited October 2023

    @reezygle said:
    To each their own. I don’t know how old you are but some of us grew up with these songs. Even though they might not fit the definition of good for everyone, they have nostalgic value.

    I'm 45...I grew up with these too!

    Truth be told, the 80s were my favorite decade in music and my biggest influence musically...I have a bit of an 80s obsession.

  • @jwmmakerofmusic said:
    Okay, I'll give you credit that yeah, New Kids on the Block and Milli Vanilli are a bit lame, and some of the other songs are rather "just okay", but bro. "Up Where We Belong"? "We Are the World"? You consider those rubbish? You and I are definitely not the same. 😂

    I'll second @reezygle 's sentiment in wondering how old you are. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say either over 70 years old where you were too old for those songs, or more likely under 25 where you think your parents' songs were lame.

    Okay then, have fun listening to Doja Cat, Bad Bunny, Drake and other animal-named artists as well as to all the "Lil's" out there on the current Billboard 100.

    As far as We Are the World, I'm generally not a fan of "all-star" songs, and even as a kid I wasn't a fan of this one lol

    "Up Where We Belong" would be better IMHO without Joe Cocker

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