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My worst songs of the 80s

13

Comments

  • jwmmakerofmusicjwmmakerofmusic

    @kidslow said:
    Any list of worst songs of the 80s which does not include Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart is just wrong. That song sucks.

    I'll take your "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and raise you "80s Era Billy Joel". 😂

    @ALB Yeah I agree with @wim that this thread is mostly a pisstake not meant to be super serious. I roasted @Fear2Stop , but all in jest of course. 😉

  • AlmostAnonymousAlmostAnonymous

  • jwmmakerofmusicjwmmakerofmusic

    @AlmostAnonymous said:

    😂🤣💀

  • kidslowkidslow

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:

    @kidslow said:
    Any list of worst songs of the 80s which does not include Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart is just wrong. That song sucks.

    I'll take your "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and raise you "80s Era Billy Joel". 😂

    Billy Joel is redeemed by (a) memories of my off-key drunken friends crooning his songs late into the night, and (b) for being fan friendly.

  • JeffChasteenJeffChasteen
    edited October 2023

    @ALB said:
    I hated "We Are The World" but so many people have torn it down that I don't feel it worth commenting.

    It's all low-hanging fruit, but along with the above, my #1 hated is "We Built This City". It masks itself as "rock" song by being about "rock n' roll" without having any kind of rock sensibility (which was pretty broad at the time). While a rock sensibility is not superior to a show tune sensibility, it makes the sentiments expressed incredibly cloying and insincere. I don't like it much as a show tune either, but I have less background in this form. And it's not especially clear which city it's about (San Francisco, LA?). I think Grace Slick trades lead vocals which is just incredibly sad - the last notable remnant of Jefferson Airplane (then Jefferson Starship, then Starship), relegated as a quasi bit player (Hey look everyone - we got Grace Slick to lend this song some cred!) in this Mickey Thomas-led gold lame poop-storm.

    For me, what is most egregious about WBTC (ORAR) is that TWO singers who were responsible for some of my absolute favorite vocal performances (Somebody To Love and Fooled Around and Fell in Love) sang that dreck.
    Everything else is just bonus hell and torment.

  • JeffChasteenJeffChasteen

    @NeuM said:

    @wim said:
    I totally checked out during the 80's due to raising young kids while moving around between countries. I'm so glad I missed 'em.

    I'm not sayin' the music itself was bad but it sure ain't my thing. I swear, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, if there's a song playing somewhere that I begin to notice is irritating the hell out of me, I ask or look it up and sure as shit it's from the 80s. Personal taste and all that.

    Except for Huey Luis and the News ... most of it.

    "You like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

    In '87, Huey released "Fore!", their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself."

    😸
    Ya beat me to it!
    GMTA

  • kidslowkidslow
    edited October 2023

    @BroCoast said:

    @kidslow said:
    Any list of worst songs of the 80s which does not include Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart is just wrong. That song sucks.

    Shadows of The Night could be worse.

    No comparison. Pat Benatar has some OK songs. The chorus of TEotH makes me throw up in my mouth.

    Worldwide, the single has sales in excess of 6 million copies and was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for sales of over 1 million copies after its release, updated to platinum in 2001 when the certification threshold changed. In 2015, the song was voted by the British public as the nation's third favourite 1980s number one in a poll for ITV.

  • wimwim

    OK, Joan Jett was (mostly) pretty damn good too.

  • animalelderanimalelder

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:

    Okay then, have fun listening to Doja Cat, Bad Bunny, Drake and other animal-named artists as well as to all the "Lil's" out there on the current Billboard 100.

    Thank you, I definitely do. I feel like this was meant to be an insulting paragraph, but I like what I like and I love what I love.

  • jwmmakerofmusicjwmmakerofmusic

    @kidslow said:

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:

    @kidslow said:
    Any list of worst songs of the 80s which does not include Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart is just wrong. That song sucks.

    I'll take your "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and raise you "80s Era Billy Joel". 😂

    Billy Joel is redeemed by (a) memories of my off-key drunken friends crooning his songs late into the night, and (b) for being fan friendly.

    I knew Billy Joel was a great person, but that is next level fan service. A good bloke. :) And nothing beats singing off-key with your mates late into the night whilst snockered. Good times. :) Cheers.

  • jwmmakerofmusicjwmmakerofmusic

    @animalelder said:

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:

    Okay then, have fun listening to Doja Cat, Bad Bunny, Drake and other animal-named artists as well as to all the "Lil's" out there on the current Billboard 100.

    Thank you, I definitely do. I feel like this was meant to be an insulting paragraph, but I like what I like and I love what I love.

    Insulting but in the cheeky sense of how your mates take the piss and laugh about it over a couple of pints. 😉 Wasn't meant as anything serious.

  • JeffChasteenJeffChasteen

    @kidslow said:
    Any list of worst songs of the 80s which does not include Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart is just wrong. That song sucks.

    Choose your weapon.
    We meet at dawn.

    TEOTH is high melodrama at its finest. Both ridiculous and sublime. Douglas Sirk in a wind tunnel.
    I know you were just kidding.

  • AlmostAnonymousAlmostAnonymous

    None of you guys are even scratching the surface.
    Y’all gotta dig far deeper….

  • kidslowkidslow

    I kid you not. Guess I just don't like ballads. Never understood how metal bands got away with playing them.

  • HotStrangeHotStrange

    @Edward_Alexander said:

    @HotStrange said:

    @wim said:

    @Gavinski said:

    We built this City is hella fun! Definitely!

    omg ... gag 🤢

    Lmao agreed, Wim. I am not a fan of that song

    This is the version I sing nowadays, when I hear the song playing on the radio.

    Lmao this is my first time seeing that 😂

  • HotStrangeHotStrange

    @wim said:
    What really bugged me was seeing so many of my favorite 70's rockers and prog rockers "selling out" (no offense - my own personal term only). Looking back it seems virtually all of them started the downhill slide to 80's cheese earlier than I thought. By 1975 - 1977.

    Yes, Doobie Brothers, Frampton, ELP, Starship/Airplane, Chicago, BTO, Genesis, Peter Gabriel, Joe Walsh, Fleetwood Mac, Eric Clapton, The Who / Pete Townshend ...

    Ironically, I didn't start to know a lot of these bands until they were already close to turning the corner into stuff I was no longer into.

    Blues guys generally stick with it tho. 😎

    @Fear2Stop said:

    @HotStrange said:

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:
    Okay, I'll give you credit that yeah, New Kids on the Block and Milli Vanilli are a bit lame, and some of the other songs are rather "just okay", but bro. "Up Where We Belong"? "We Are the World"? You consider those rubbish? You and I are definitely not the same. 😂

    I'll second @reezygle 's sentiment in wondering how old you are. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say either over 70 years old where you were too old for those songs, or more likely under 25 where you think your parents' songs were lame.

    Okay then, have fun listening to Doja Cat, Bad Bunny, Drake and other animal-named artists as well as to all the "Lil's" out there on the current Billboard 100.

    A lot of the “Lil’s” are really good. Lil Peep (RIP) has some classics under his belt. And I can’t lie and say I’m not a Doja or Drake fan either lol both of them have some songs I love.

    When it comes to music I choose not to discriminate or feel “guilty” for listening to anything I like. That’s why I dislike the term “guilty pleasures”. I judge more an a per song/album/artist basis and not on same, genre, style. My playlist on Spotify has like 20,000 and there’s nearly every genre on there form country and bluegrass to experimental harsh noise back to pop and pop punk and everything in between lol

    When I start hating on music is when it feels like a product and there’s no genuine emotion behind it. When an artist makes music solely for money or for the label, it’s soulless and I can’t gel with that.

    Same... I listen to music from most genres (although admittedly I'm not a fan of modern hiphop) from pretty much any era. I have extremely diverse tastes, from Frank Sinatra , Metallica, the Beach Boys , Brian Eno, Billy Joel ,Tom Waits ,Johnny Cash, Depeche Mode, Soccer Mommy, Nobuo Uematasu, Tears for Fears... hell, there are even current pop songs I like!

    I actually love the more experimental modern hiphop. JPegMafia, Danny Brown, RTJ, Clipping, Death Grips, Open Mike Eagle, etc. soooo much good stuff out there right now. Teezo Touchdown is a new guy on the scene and he’s taking modern rap and infusing it with classic Prince and man it’s good.

    Love me some Eno and Tom Waits. Waits especially. I love his work with Jarmusch too. Down By Law is a perfect movie (imo). Bone Machine is an incredible album as well. Nice Soccer Mommy mention too! And Tears of course. Songs From the Big Chair is a 11/10 album for me haha.

    I love love late 70s era of experimental post punk and early industrial a lot too. The Residents, Throbbing Gristle, Cabaret Voltaire, Psychic TV, the Pop Group, etc.

  • HotStrangeHotStrange

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:

    @Fear2Stop said:

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:

    @Fear2Stop said:

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:

    @Fear2Stop said:

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:

    @Fear2Stop said:

    @jwmmakerofmusic said:
    Okay, I'll give you credit that yeah, New Kids on the Block and Milli Vanilli are a bit lame, and some of the other songs are rather "just okay", but bro. "Up Where We Belong"? "We Are the World"? You consider those rubbish? You and I are definitely not the same. 😂

    I'll second @reezygle 's sentiment in wondering how old you are. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say either over 70 years old where you were too old for those songs, or more likely under 25 where you think your parents' songs were lame.

    Okay then, have fun listening to Doja Cat, Bad Bunny, Drake and other animal-named artists as well as to all the "Lil's" out there on the current Billboard 100.

    As far as We Are the World, I'm generally not a fan of "all-star" songs, and even as a kid I wasn't a fan of this one lol

    "We Are the World" is probably the best of the "all-star" songs, and holds a special place for me. Listened to that as a child. Now the "all-star" version of "Imagine" from 3 and a half years back during lockdown was trash, at least to me, lol. Talk about butchering the world's greatest hymn. xD

    "Up Where We Belong" would be better IMHO without Joe Cocker

    Joe Cocker's voice is rather divisive I will say. Some people hate it, some people like it. :) The song itself though is great. I even play it on the piano at gigs.

    I don't mind his voice (I mean, I am a huge fan of Tom Waits lol) but on this song, IMHO it just doesn't work. Also, there is something a bit treacly about a lot of duets in the 80s for me.

    And yeah, I definitely feel you about WAtW being the best of the all-star songs, although I disgree and this "Do They Know It's Christmas" is better...I actually like it LOL. But yeah, it got worse from there, and I agree about the Imagine remake, although "Voices that Care" might be the actual worst of the lot

    Oh god, I forgot about "Voices that Care". 🤣 Okay, yeah, I'll take the all-star "Imagine" over that any day. I have...about a month before I listen to "Do They Know It's Christmas", as I don't celebrate the holidays before celebrating Thanksgiving. (No shade on those that do start celebrating the holidays early, lol. Just not my bag, mate.)

    I mostly like how treacly 80s duets are. Kind of sentimental, corny, but in an inoffensive, wholesome kind of way if that makes any sense. :)

    Oh, most definitely. I mean, I might not have liked them back then, but those duets are nostalgic guilty pleasures for me now...and I'd rather listen to ANY of them compared to Billie Eilish and Dreck, I mean, Drake

    Hahahaha! Same here mate. :) I think the only top modern pop stars are Taylor Swift (whose voice has noticeably matured from the original recordings to the "Taylor's Versions"), and Lady Gaga (whose voice is just phenomenal). ESPECIALLY Lady Gaga!

    This still gives me goosebumps. 😨

    Yeah, she's phenomenal

    As mentioned previously, I actually like a lot of modern pop, but I really cannot STAND Billie Eilish. Her first few songs were alright, but she regressed massively the more popular she got. And the level of critical acclaim she gets mystifies me.

    As much as I dislike her music, though, my daughter feels WAY more strongly than I do lol

    LOL! Yeah, Billie Eilish is overrated. Lady Gaga currently holds the crown as Queen of Pop in my opinion. <3 If not the greatest voice in the current era of music, within Pop and outside of Pop to be quite honest. A lot of her Pop music did make heavy use of autotune, but honestly she doesn't need that.

    And Lady Gaga's music has been known to make me tear up on occasion. For instance...

    ...this song reminds me so much of my late mother who passed almost 5 years ago on 4 November. And just the emotion in Stefani's voice, good lord!

    Lady GaGa is the queens no doubt. But some more I love and fully recommend would be Charlie XCX, Rina Sawayama, Carly Rae Jepson, And Kero Kero Bonito.

  • AlmostAnonymousAlmostAnonymous
    edited October 2023

    Sometime you need to take a step back, and good songwriting and the technique involved is missed cause people can’t get passed an image sold to you. Sometimes it take someone else to show it to you.

    (not the OG artist, but the OG is flamed a lot in this thread)
    (Bonus points…name those pipes…)

  • ecouecou
    edited October 2023

    Snow - informer as got to be the worst of the 80s.

    Edit: I just looked and that's a 90s song 😁

  • michael_mmichael_m

    Didn’t Chris de Burgh’s ‘Lady in Red’ win some poll to find the worst song of the 80s?

  • ALBALB

    @michael_m said:

    @ALB said:
    Glad that Martin Page can wipe his ass with Benjamins as a result of writing this

    I would imagine the songwriting involved a similar action, only with sheet music.

    :)

  • AlexYAlexY

    the real guys that sang for Milli Vanilli had great voices though. To me, they're not bad tunes. Too bad it takes good looks as well, but sex sells I guess.

  • NeuMNeuM

    @AlexY said:
    the real guys that sang for Milli Vanilli had great voices though. To me, they're not bad tunes. Too bad it takes good looks as well, but sex sells I guess.

    Even back in the 1950's they'd find a good looking kid who could barely sing and make them the lead of a pop group. Prefab bands as products are not a new idea.

  • AlexYAlexY

    @NeuM said:

    @AlexY said:
    the real guys that sang for Milli Vanilli had great voices though. To me, they're not bad tunes. Too bad it takes good looks as well, but sex sells I guess.

    Even back in the 1950's they'd find a good looking kid who could barely sing and make them the lead of a pop group. Prefab bands as products are not a new idea.

    Never thought about it, but it makes sense as that is around the birth of TV.

    I always think of Chrisopher Cross and how his looks ended up affecting his career (according to some).

  • Fear2StopFear2Stop

    @michael_m said:
    Didn’t Chris de Burgh’s ‘Lady in Red’ win some poll to find the worst song of the 80s?

    I know that was one of the the "winners" of several polls I've seen....the sad part is, I actually like that song LOL

  • JeffChasteenJeffChasteen

    @AlexY said:

    @NeuM said:

    @AlexY said:
    the real guys that sang for Milli Vanilli had great voices though. To me, they're not bad tunes. Too bad it takes good looks as well, but sex sells I guess.

    Even back in the 1950's they'd find a good looking kid who could barely sing and make them the lead of a pop group. Prefab bands as products are not a new idea.

    Never thought about it, but it makes sense as that is around the birth of TV.

    I always think of Chrisopher Cross and how his looks ended up affecting his career (according to some).

    The Idolmaker is a very good film that deals with that practice.
    It stars the late great Ray Sharkey.

  • setAIsetAI

    These are all famous songs. Just take a random sample of the top 10 from any week in say... 1987 and you'll find a lot of shit that's way worse than anything the OP listed! 🥳

  • HotStrangeHotStrange

    @setAI said:
    These are all famous songs. Just take a random sample of the top 10 from any week in say... 1987 and you'll find a lot of shit that's way worse than anything the OP listed! 🥳

    Yeah honestly you can do that for every year since the start of the top 10 lists and find some shitty music. We like to only remember and listen to the ones we like and forget just how much shitty music came out then too lol

    People complain that modern music sucks but forget that’s exactly what people also said in the 00s, 90s, 80s, 70s, etc.

  • michael_mmichael_m

    @Fear2Stop said:

    @michael_m said:
    Didn’t Chris de Burgh’s ‘Lady in Red’ win some poll to find the worst song of the 80s?

    I know that was one of the the "winners" of several polls I've seen....the sad part is, I actually like that song LOL

    I guess it’s OK if you’re the sort of person who likes “a little romarnce”.

  • AlmostAnonymousAlmostAnonymous

    @michael_m said:

    @Fear2Stop said:

    @michael_m said:
    Didn’t Chris de Burgh’s ‘Lady in Red’ win some poll to find the worst song of the 80s?

    I know that was one of the the "winners" of several polls I've seen....the sad part is, I actually like that song LOL

    I guess it’s OK if you’re the sort of person who likes “a little romarnce”.

    Chris is still rolling on a pile of money.

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