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Song Of The Month Club - November 2017

What is the Song of the Month Club?

It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.

The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.

The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.

All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.

We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material

And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine.

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Comments

  • Ok, I guess I'll start. Another song I just finished with a collaborator of mine, a very talented singer/songwriting student. She wrote the verses and chorus on piano, I did the bridge along with the production and arrangement. I was going for an "electronic meets organic" vibe, and was especially intrigued with the combination of cello/glockenspiel/piano blended into the otherwise electronica based piece. Hope you enjoy...

  • Really excellent, @Joel75! This singer has talent! The blend worked well, enjoyed your song very much! Keep it up!

  • Wow, we are off with a bang for November, thanks to @Joel75. The singer kept me listening--she knows how to keep the hooks coming over the course of a track. I'm not so sure of the lyrics, but that's OK. I dug the juxtaposition of the glock/piano/cello because it adds the necessary warmth to the track. My only suggestion might be to mix something up late in the track to jolt the listener out of the comfort that develops after about the three minute mark. A little hint of dissonance or perhaps a little rhythmic pop? Well done.

  • edited November 2017

    @Joel75 Well that was a mistake. I just spent an hour snuffling about trying to make something out of a poor vocal I'd recorded earlier, took a break and listened to your post, and am thoroughly beaten up by listening to what a real singer sounds like. Ah well....that old thing :)

    All whining to one side, this girl has the pipes. Is she Irish by any chance? Sounds a little in that vein (and there's some good company there for sure....) Not too taken with the lyrics but that's just sniffy toast on my part. If I have a crit it might be (as already alluded to) that the level of her vocal feels like a lot of the same intensity throughout. Could maybe do with a little more shading. Three act play and all that. As regards the music/backing track; I like it, sets the mood, keeps it, and gets out of the way at the same time. A real showcase for the vocal.

    Would really like to hear what you guys would do with something lo-fi, low-key and heartfelt. I know, I'm a sucker for honest misery....

  • Thanks for the feedback, folks! I understand the comments about the lyrics, but she's a 16 year old Florida girl, so, you know, there's that... When I'm producing someone else I hardly pay attention to the lyrics, which maybe I should start doing. @JohnnyGoodyear, we've done another track that's pretty dark, somber, and minimal in the instrumentation. I'll throw it up in the creations thread at some point soon and make mention of it here.

  • @Joel75 said:
    Thanks for the feedback, folks! I understand the comments about the lyrics, but she's a 16 year old Florida girl, so, you know, there's that... When I'm producing someone else I hardly pay attention to the lyrics, which maybe I should start doing. @JohnnyGoodyear, we've done another track that's pretty dark, somber, and minimal in the instrumentation. I'll throw it up in the creations thread at some point soon and make mention of it here.

    Please do :)

  • Based on the stickied post about posting songs to the (far less viewed) Creations forum, so as not to clutter up the General forum (understandable), how do people feel about mentioning in the SOTMC thread when they have a new submission in the Creations forum? That way we're not adding a new, slightly OT thread to the General forum, but maybe get some more eyes and ears over to the Creations forum that might not otherwise check it out. Thoughts?

  • edited November 2017

    @Joel75 Really cool intro. Wow, great set of pipes on the singer. A few wobbly notes, but such confidence. Reminds me a little of The Cranberries singer but without the annoyingly over emphasised accent.
    The minimalistic musical backing fits really well. Clear and well mixed. Love the descending bells, the sparse bass and sound used. The key change is lovely just before 3 mins. It’s a good mash up of the electro and classic sounds.
    You’ve done a great production job on the vox. Must say, didn’t have a problem with the lyrics as the melody and voice works so well.
    Could hear this being used as the X factor winners song.
    Really good stuff.
    Is it possible to do the varying pictures like you’ve done within Wizibel, or did you edit it it together? I couldn’t see an option for a slideshow or whatever...EDIT - Oops, found slideshow!

  • @Joel75 said:
    Based on the stickied post about posting songs to the (far less viewed) Creations forum, so as not to clutter up the General forum (understandable), how do people feel about mentioning in the SOTMC thread when they have a new submission in the Creations forum? That way we're not adding a new, slightly OT thread to the General forum, but maybe get some more eyes and ears over to the Creations forum that might not otherwise check it out. Thoughts?

    Not much point - SOTMC is now being posted in the Creations forum since the stickied post :)

    By default most people see the unified forum view anyway, so I don't think it really matters. All posts have equal visibility.

  • @DefRobot, thanks for the kind words, it's very encouraging and the singer is really happy to hear that other people (besides her parents and myself) think she has talent. And yes, the video was done in Wizabel, using the "Snow" theme. I just selected 6 or so pictures and placed them on the timeline, and Wizabel automatically morphed them (sometimes faster than I'd like). @richardyot, as I view the forum primarily on my phone, I somehow didn't realize that it's set to view all forums in one list. So yeah, it'd definitely be redundant since most people would automatically see it anyway. Thanks for the input!

  • edited November 2017

    I was thinking about an equation, of how much we're loved and in turn how much we love others. The unbalanced book of it all. When a woman died a while back who'd loved me more than anyone else, obsessively, even ridiculously, I got to feeling that there had been a significant withdrawal somewhere in some forgotten account. One that could never now be replaced or made good. Mathematics is a bastard.

    Mathematics

    I'm in a hotel room
    got no money worth stealing
    might not ever see you again
    I won't forget that first feeling

    there's always just one girl
    in any one life
    rarely is she your sister
    only sometimes is she your wife

    I never thought it would end this way
    when I met her at the start
    mathematics is a bastard
    and then it breaks your heart

    the one that loved you more
    than any one will do
    despite your flaws
    her heart was full for you

    and the years they carry on now
    and the time it goes on by
    and somewhere down the line
    life causes her to die

    I never thought it would end this way
    when I met her at the start
    mathematics is a bastard
    and then it breaks your heart

    you'll be living elsewhere then
    in a different suburban story
    convinced as to your purpose
    despite your lack of glory

    and you'll hear that she's departed
    and you feel just a little sad
    but your balance is disturbed
    by the opposite of add

    I never thought it would end this way
    when I met her at the start
    mathematics is a bastard
    then it breaks your heart

    the equation of my existence
    has been thrown all out of whack
    and what I took for granted
    can never be taken back

    I never thought it would end this way
    when I met her at the start
    mathematics is a bastard
    and then it breaks your heart

  • @JohnnyGoodyear, just had a couple of listens through the phone speakers. I'll get a chance to listen through headphones later today when I'm free of the kids (story of my life) but some quick first impressions: Love the double tracking of the voice, the occasional harmonies you throw in, the phrase "opposite of add", the inflection you put on "whack", and the warmth of the EP. Only critique right now would be the hi hat; it seems a little harsh and strident, especially when juxtaposed against the overall warmth of the other instruments. May be the phone speakers though, so I'll try to give some more detailed feedback later on. So different from what I write and listen to, but I really like it.

  • @Joel75 Thanks Joel. Free of kids? College. :) Not before then....

    As for the hats, may well be annoying. I did very little as regards mixing and my drums are little more than a metronome. Always plenty of room for someone else to improve them one of these days....thanks much for your feedback.

  • http://tarekith.com/mp3s/Tarekith-InFathoms.m4a

    Started out as jam on Groovebox, and after exporting into Ableton Live for arranging and overdubs from other gear, became a nice flowy bit of energy.

  • @JohnnyGoodyear, I think some of the new GB drummers (the percussion oriented ones) would be a great fit for the song. Maybe consider Audiobus-ing the stereo mix (minus drums) into GB and then try out some of the different drummers. PLENTY of room for variety, and the sounds are really good.

    @Tarekith, liked the vibe and the groove for sure. My favorite part was from ~2:10-2:40 where you dropped a bunch out and brought it back in, but somewhat filtered (that's what it sounded like to me anyway). Kick drum sound was really tight, and fit perfectly. Only critique would be that it seems to be missing a melody. I could hear an electric violin (like everybody has one, right?!), or any sort of vocal line that works with an electronic background. Also thought the panning on the pad toward the end was cool. Nicely done!

  • Thanks, I'll see if I can round up an electric violin for the next one :)

  • @Tarekith I got western music with spaceman. Guys in cosmonaut suits riding across the New Mexico desert. Hot and not caring. Can see (hear?) the violin, but for me more whips cracking, burros bawling, and the landing of a large craft. Iguanas. Good.

  • @JohnnyGoodyear, love this one, a very delicate song. Perhaps the backing track could be a little more present, but no deal breaker. Good lyrics as usual. Keep it up!

  • @Tarekith, very interesting composition. The mix is excellent - this does make a huge difference with any dance music. I agree with @Joel75 that a melody would take it to the next level. Keep it up!

  • This is my entry for this month. I know, I already posted it in an individual topic, but this was only because the November SOTM topic wasn't ready. Enjoy!

  • @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    @Tarekith I got western music with spaceman. Guys in cosmonaut suits riding across the New Mexico desert. Hot and not caring. Can see (hear?) the violin, but for me more whips cracking, burros bawling, and the landing of a large craft. Iguanas. Good.

    Ah, so a Firefly soundtrack. I like it.

  • @theconnactic said:
    This is my entry for this month. I know, I already posted it in an individual topic, but this was only because the November SOTM topic wasn't ready. Enjoy!

    Love it. It would of made a great TV theme tune when I was a nipper, after watching "The Persuaders"..... Excellent stuff.

  • @Tarekith said:
    http://tarekith.com/mp3s/Tarekith-InFathoms.m4a

    Started out as jam on Groovebox, and after exporting into Ableton Live for arranging and overdubs from other gear, became a nice flowy bit of energy.

    Nice production. Maybe needed a couple couple of Dubby vocal bytes coming in & out. But still nicely done. Relaxing & very calming track.

  • Another nice track Johnny boy. Very mellow. Sweet!. ;)

  • @Joel75 said:
    Ok, I guess I'll start. Another song I just finished with a collaborator of mine, a very talented singer/songwriting student. She wrote the verses and chorus on piano, I did the bridge along with the production and arrangement. I was going for an "electronic meets organic" vibe, and was especially intrigued with the combination of cello/glockenspiel/piano blended into the otherwise electronica based piece. Hope you enjoy...

    Love it.

  • edited November 2017

    @joel75 I miss my studio days working with great artists just like this one. you did a great job at tracking and mixing the vocals... sounds awesome.. i do agree with johnnygoodyear about the vocals. they need to breath in and out more natural. i didnt notice till second time around then it was a Little too much for me

  • @JohnnyGoodyear in not too into the drums I think if you took the hat and used it in a limited way .. i like the vocals alot. i think a piano with these vocals would kill it .m but thats my own personal opinion. and i wouldn't listen to me much... my fingers wrote that as i noded off

  • @trackedout said:

    Nice production. Not my sort of music(being a Deep House/Disco/Reggae Dub Nutter)but I appreciate the work & quality that went into it. Seemed (on my Cans) nicely mixed. Good stuff!.... ;)

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