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Song Of The Month Club - October 2017
What is the Song of the Month Club?
It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.
The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.
The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.
All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.
We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material
And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine.
Comments
SoundCloud account:
https://soundcloud.com/song-of-the-month-club
This month's playlist:
https://m.soundcloud.com/song-of-the-month-club/sets/october-2017
The acapella Vocals are by Patricia Edwards from Looperman.com.
This is the same Song, but different 2 mixes.....Enjoy everyone!
@studs1966 The original mix is more my preference, and I do like this new sound tack you've taken, especially the second half where you go lighter on the vocals and give them some dub space. I would like some of those breaks throughout, as the first half is too chock-a with vocals. Sounds professional, as always, though that bass line is definitely off by a tick throughout. Need to give that a nudge.
Here's my latest bit of weirdness. It's still a bit of a work in progress, as I will be adding a bit to the middle, extending the break, but everything you hear is final enough. In addition to musical critique, I'd be curious to know how well the lyric's meaning comes through. I can sometimes (usually) be a little opaque.
Redwood and pine
All fall in line
In time
In time
All fall in line
Despite all the things that you've done
Please know I love you
And all the seeds that you've sown
Do know I love them, too
All those things that you own
Just know I own you
The young and the grown
Please know I love you
In time
In time
All fall in line
In time
In time
You'll fall in line
If you've lost or you've won
Please know I love you
You can burn bright as the sun
I will still love you, soon
Whomever may cheer that you're gone
Just know I love you
When your race has been run
I'll be there to embrace you
Despite all the things that you've done
Please know I love you
And all the seeds that you've sown
Do know I love them, too
All those things that you own
Just know I own you
The young and the grown
Please know I love you
I love you
@aaronpc You have won the loudness war! I had to turn the volume down as it was full blast. You may have lost some dynamics there.
The track flows along in fine fettle and the mix appears okay, but feels over compressed/limited.
Apologies for starting with the mastering!
As for the song and sounds, it comes across like a mash up between The Flaming Lips, Super Furry Animals and Strawberry fields forever. Which is great in my book. Fantastic sounds going on. Good psychedelic vibe.
Lyrically, I get a tale of sticking around for someone that is wayward and maybe selfish? That you’ll be there no matter what. The words fit very well in the song.
thanks @DefRobot I did something different right before posting without running the usual tests, so I think I'll resubmit when I get a chance later.
Should be fixed now. Let me know if still too brick wall-ish.
I was shooting for something a little strange and plaintive.
Dulcimer and electricguitar into iRig, bs-16i, ruismaker, Troublemaker, iMini, Bebot, Tonestack.
Thanks for listening.
Yeah, much better and feels more dynamic
The other words still apply to your song:
As for the song and sounds, it comes across like a mash up between The Flaming Lips, Super Furry Animals and Strawberry fields forever. Which is great in my book. Fantastic sounds going on. Good psychedelic vibe.
Lyrically, I get a tale of sticking around for someone that is wayward and maybe selfish? That you’ll be there no matter what. The words fit very well in the song.
@DefRobot
Thanks for the kind words. I can definitely sense those sounds in there too, and there's nothing wrong with that. No cigar on the lyrics, but thanks for playing!
@JeffChasteen I thought there was a new AMFM album for a minute. Nice and trippy. Sensing a theme. Great pastiche of sources there— a indie cinematic thing that I tend to go for.
I thought the theremin (Bebot?) was a bit too pervasive and the the organ slipping out of time then back in near the end was more distracting than interesting, but maybe not if you tweaked the attacks and releases. Lastly, I wanted something different coming out of the break. Too short and indecisive. Maybe keep the guitar for a tic longer, if you can make it hold that first Clan of Xymox note, then the other stuff can fade in.
There appears to be a problem with all the soundcloud links!?
I noticed that today - for some reason "https" links aren't working. If people change them to just "http" they will show up ok.
@aaronpc thanks for sharing. Initial vocals were a little far back in mix for me, struggled to understand…much clearer from the ‘despite all the thing that you’ve done…’ lyric. Some really nice sounds in there, I liked the upbeat psychedelic bits the best. Thematically I thought it was about unconditional love and sticking by / accepting a person if they make mistakes along the way or even if things are going great.
@studs1966 and @JeffChasteen, will have a listen once the soundcloud links are working again.
Folks, here’s my first SOTM tune for a couple of months. This one’s my ode to Marty McFly and 1955. I was watching Back to the Future with my kids and they asked me what I’d play if I had to play one of my tunes at the ‘Enchantment Under the Sea’ dance scene. Lyrically and stylistically I tried to hit a 50's vibe. The video was done in 2 takes into iMovie and (hopefully) has an early days of TV look to it.
My entry for this month:
This month's track is "Murder". Lyrics are loosely based on past personal experience, but I assure you, no felonies were committed, or even attempted, related to these events!
Meet the Band:
And! if you have a spare 5 minutes... here is an alternate version with slower verses and Chorus 1 and 2. From the break on, the two versions are pretty much the same. If you're able to listen to both, I'd be curious which version you prefer.
Murder
VERSE
You brought me back a t-shirt
You brought me back disease
It felt like drinking gasoline
And brought me to my knees
You brought me back a thousand years
Old sand from a mummy's tomb
You brought me back a thousand tears
The end is coming soon
CHORUS
Red rum is murder spelled backwards
Red rum is murder spelled backwards
Red rum is murder spelled backwards
My cup runneth over for you
VERSE
Forbidden fruit on you lips
Drinking poison tea
You put me on a raft
And sent me out to sea
Undertow and overflow
Whitecaps turning black
Silver birds set adrift
They ain't never coming back
[REPEAT CHORUS]
BREAK
[REPEAT CHORUS]
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Nice track, very lush and interesting. I listened twice - once "unspoiled" and a second time reading the lyrics. IMO the vocals definitely need to be brought out in the mix more. I could understand very few of the lyrics on first listen. Other than that, very minor, but I might bring up the kick a little in the first half of the track. I seemed to be able to hear it better towards the end. Overall though, very well done.
Regarding the lyrics, I don't think it's crucial the listener draws from lyrics what the writer intended, but to me, as I listen to this, it's about unconditional love, possibly as one would feel about a child, or a long-time significant other. If I were to analyze, I'd say Redwood/Pine could be parent/child, "falling in line" could be developing into a good person. I'd lean more toward the love for a child, but the "seeds you've sown" and being there when the race is run point more towards a life partner perspective. "Young and the grown" could be the whole family!
whichever, I do like the lyrics. Cheers!
@studs1966
It's a tight call between the two and don't think i can pick one over the other.....I preferred the first one for overall balance, but as aaronpc said, the bass line (the grace note mid way through ? sounds off and could move either forwards or backwards a touch) seems off very slightly and disturbs the flow.....I prefer the instrumentation in the second one and it doesn't seem to suffer the same bass line issue....Both nicely mixed as usual...
@aaronpc Really nice sound and feel to this....as others have said I think the effected vocals could come up a bit in the mix, especially the effected vocals, they are difficult to make out...I took the meaning very darkly indeed...it was the bit about 'when your race is run I'll be there to embrace you'....is it someone saying goodbye as they are dying ?
@JeffChasteen
I liked this when it started, nice folk type vibe to it....but the theremin sound seems to go a bit too far in places and detracts from the rest of the track....the timing drift towards the end is both intriguing and mildy unbalancing at the same time...Like the sound overall
@marliess
Nice track....right up my alley...definitely get a rockabilly vibe from this, nice balanced mix....and great vid too 
Sweet
@theconnactic
Once again some great playing from you, being EXTREMELY picky now...the 2 guitars at the start didn't seem perfectly in time...and I wanted to nudge then together.....Nice mix once again.
One last thing..... you don't look like you're enjoying rattling those keys
@Shaken&;Stirred
I think I prefer the first version...but is that because I listened to it first? i'll try listening again in a day or so listening to the second one first, and see if my opinion on that changes 
Another great tune dude
The clean guitar is nicely balanced with the vocals and overall good sound..nice mix
@marliess @Shaken&;Stirred Thanks, guys. Looks like my mandate is clear— vocals and drums, as usual. I'm coming to realize I have to turn up the vocals until it bothers me. Then it sounds right to everyone else. Personal issues, I guess. I'm not sure I can ever get the big chorus vocals to be completely clear, and I'm kind of okay with that, but surprised to hear the other stuff is still getting lost a bit.
As for the drums, they usually get sorted early in the process, then I tend to bury them under too many other sounds. Must remember to revisit them later while mixing.
As for the lyrics, you're all spot on with the unconditional love part. The question is from who? I gave a big clue that everyone seems to be missing. Interesting...
@JeffChasteen Good overall feel to the track, but felt like it needed to be tighter in places. I agree that the Theremin type sounds take over a little too much in places.
My favourite part was the folky sounding guitar at the start and felt like it could just come back to that simplicity in places.
Really liked the build at the start too.
Definitely a weird feel to it all. Didn’t really get the drop in the middle.
Original overall and non-conformist.
Thanks Andy.... You are right the bass is a tad out. @aaronpc was also correct. I wrote that track a long time ago. Never got around to re doing it. So later on re wrote the acapella to the second one. Cheers for listening matey..
Lol, this is samba: each long note enters exatcly a quarter note before the bar - if I played it otherwise it would kill the groove. Thank you for watching!
@marliess Haha, love this! Great puppet video. Manic feel to it all. Sound wise was like a mash up of glam 70’s - like a Tiger Feet Mud, a bit of Sparks - especially in the vocal phrasing and a bit of Dr Feelgood in the Vocal style. Fun Lyrics. Great hooks and plenty of them too!
Definitely sounds like a hit record from that era.
Big thumbs up.
@theconnactic The keys are back! They work well, so why not
Overall a very Santana type sound to my ears. Good job on the mix, everything clear.
Great playing as usual, just not mad on the shredding bits. They could tone down a tad. But that’s just my taste. I like the jazzy bass towards the end.
Another good track that invokes a story in the mind.
@Shaken&;Stirred
Great track and production. Love the song and structure. Plentiful changes. A very good choice of sounds, the toy piano is wonderful. You can hear the keys being pressed! Really good how it all speeds up to the finale. It’s a hit! Could be in a modern remake of The Shining, although that’s one movie that is too perfect to remake...
The 2nd version is the kind of thing you might of got as bonus track on a 12” EP back in the 80s/90s. The slow down gives it a proper goth feel. Almost like a different song.
Prefer the 1st version, but nice variation. The speed up bit here works very well.