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Comments
@Joel75 It's a pretty impressive-sounding production, a little mainstream in flavour for my tastes but very nicely done. I like the way the song builds and becomes bigger as it goes on and all the ingredients seem right for the genre.
The vocal sounds a bit thin, like it's been through a high-pass filter, but maybe that's simply down to being recorded with a cheap mic, could even be a phone or iPad mic judging by the sound. Also the voice needs to come forward a little more in the mix, but otherwise the treatment of it is good (nice-sounding delay on it). Your student is clearly a good singer.
Deliciously weird. My recall of the original is a little hazy but I think everything is maybe a little clearer this time round? The vocal is at just the right level, and the song is great.
@crouchie I see where you're going with this, and it mostly works for me. I tend to think that you're deferring to the material too much, though. I want something more assertive to happen musically. I want it all to open up somewhere along the way. As it is, it's kind of like taking a nice hike up a mountain, you get a peek through the trees every so often, but you never find a nice view once you get up to the top.
@Joel75 Coming along nicely. I think it just needs more fleshing out, details to really sell it. The piano chord hits in the quiet parts need to be more naturalized, as they currently sound too perfect like they're being played by computer — space the hits and velocities out more and vary them from bar to bar. I'd also like to hear more fills between the chords to keep things interesting.
She seems to be singing more parts than there are musical parts, if you know what I mean. The music repeats, but her melody is switched up. Not a problem really, it still matches the scale, but I think the music could do more to follow along— some more prominent synth stabs would fit the bill.
@DefRobot You know, you've got all the parts there. The song structure's sound. The song shifts at the right times to keep things flowing. The chorus is used to good effect. The lyrics are pretty fresh and the recording is well done. But something's been bugging me despite all that.
I recently had a friend add a searing solo to one of my songs and it turned out great... and I'm going to keep it because it's perfect... but it bugs me. After thinking about it, I decided I have an anti-electric guitar bias. So it's a personal problem. I'll work on it. I've never been attracted to asian girls, either.
@JohnnyGoodyear Lovely as always. I really need to invest in a better mic, and maybe I can go more minimal without having to slather with effect gravy so much.
Very nice succinct song. Simple but pointed. As far as recommendations, I don't mind that you repeat the lines for each stanza at all, but I'd like you to alter the word rhythm of each. The last two lines— keep them the same both times for emphasis, but in the earlier subordinate lines I notice you speed through word groups, eg. "that's-not -how", "did-we-come", "where-we-be". That's fine, but I think you could group the words differently between the two readings, and maybe alter the harmony a tiny bit, too. Make sense?
Lastly, I can barely hear the drumming that comes in for the second half, and I'm not entirely sure what I think of it. The little taps don't add much for me, so I'm not sure I would want them turned up. I think I want to hear a long low drum on the ones, personally, or maybe you don't need it at all.
And thanks for the kind words on my entry. You give me too much credit— the "pine" reference is simply to juxtapose against the redwood and their shared mutual fate, but it does fit. You are the master of prose, whereas I'm more of a limerick man, but I'll pretend that was my intent from here on.
@richardyot, ironic that you thought the vocal may have been recorded with an iPhone mic, since the vocal was run through a Telephone EQ up until the 3rd measure of Verse 2! I wanted for the vocal to "open up" when the drums and bass made their entrance, and the only way I knew to "open them up" was to first "close them down". So yeah, definitely a pretty strong high and low-pass filter for the first pet of the song.
This is a very accomplished piece of business. Redolent of REM with extra spite. It is a thing of parts (I suppose most songs are) and I was particularly sucked in by the opening (suggested a never-made Pink Panther cartoon at the waning end of an acid trip). I also was really impressed with what I guess would be called the bridge or break. I found that, as a piece of design, genuinely unsettling, more so than the main church of the song. Quibble would be entirely personal and that would be that the repeated cup runneth over lyric eventually made me spend too much time wondering about its meaning or connection, but I’m sure that’s just me. I envy the clarity of your production, especially the vox.
@zpxlng Well, I'll see your Zappa and raise you a Little Marcy. That is some challengingly cute neuron chaw right there. It seems you've made choices at every step to intentionally promote attacks to my comfort level. That's alright. I eat that stuff for breakfast. Or I would, but the wife make me run for my phone whenever the strange stuff comes up on random. Only crit I have, really, as a psychic tourist to your plane, is that I don't need the bit from 2:30 to 2:50, as it's too explainy for my taste, breaking the spell. But keep on. And check out Gustaver Yellowgold, if you haven't already. Kindred.
As for your comments on my own entry— I almost made it through, but you've found me out. I was hoping the drums would escape notice as being a bit crap, as I really didn't want to mess with them anymore, but you're right. The problem, from my perspective, is that all the hits are on a single audio track instead of mixed separately, but I don't wanna backtrack to fix them. We'll see. I have a way of talking myself into countless hours of additional tweaking. Sooo... thanks for that.
Glad you like Blotto, thanks much! I have a couple old test balloons on Bandcamp, but now am in the process of bundling up an album's worth of stuff into a proper release. Going into album art/marketing limbo very soon, then I'll be in all the places with the things.
Thanks for mixing the pot, review-wise, btw. Everyone needs to use the loofah more often.
Hello Mister Bart. I do like the essential beat/groove here but I would like some variation. I’m sure there is a fair amount, but it is largely too subtle for me. I also found the sound a little dulled in the bass end, but I presume this is purely a matter of taste. The positive (and it’s always an important one for me) is that after a little while I began talking/singing/almost rapping to the rhythm. Made me wish there were words (nothing new there I know
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No wonder all drummers are on speed. Real workout. I always pitch your sound in the West, but this piece just shouts out the Velvets. Love the laconic stoned vocals, but that might be a minority take. Not as convinced on the ‘chorus’ of this one. The slack felt a bit forced which seems counter to the aural notion. Just my feel. I don’t know (of course) if you have a moderately sedate life or if things are on the ragged raw edge. My pschiatric feeling is that we might need to beat you some and shave your skin for a month, maybe starvation, I don’t know, some kind of privation. Not out of meanness but to drive your full anguish to the surface. I know, seems a bit much, but art is like that and you might thank us after. Or not.
My entry for the month. The song is about the dark side of fame. Fame is glamourised and celebrated, but it's pretty common for famous people to be surrounded with people who would just use them for money and influence. At that point it becomes very difficult to have normal human relationships with others, because of the creeping paranoia that they might want something from you, not a genuine friendship. As a result I think some stars end up with poisonous entourages, and live a very lonely life, trapped by their celebrity and wealth. The original draft was based on Whitney Houston, but the final is about Elvis - I liked the image of dying on the throne and it applied much better to him, because he did actually die on the toilet, and he was also The King, so it was perfect. The fire of the title is fame itself.
Tantalising fire, you burn so hot and red
He looked into your embers, but all he saw was charred and dead
He wanted to control you, but you would feed on him instead
Where the fire will cast a shadow, only darkness lies ahead.
He took it all on faith
Stepped out to fall from grace
And lost everything that he believed in
He took it all on faith
Stepped out to meet his fate
And lost everyone that he believed in
With a retinue of courtiers, it's easy to forget
That people got to know him, just to see what they could get
But no-one ever told him that he would die sick and alone
A King in a gilded bathroom, sitting on the throne
He took it all on faith
Stepped out to fall from grace
And lost everything that he believed in
He took it all on faith
Stepped out to meet his fate
And lost everyone that he believed in
I've updated the SoundCloud
@richardyot Surprised at the direction this took after hearing the initial sketch with guitar.
Was hopefully just personal opinions!
Seems that there’s a bit of a backlash against guitars this month! A few comments on my entry also kinda said the guitar is dead
That said, no guitar on Tantalising Fire isn’t a bad thing. Totally 80’s sound here. Wide sounding mix from the kick off. Howard Jones keyboards and a melody like a mix from the verses of Spandaus Gold and Through the Barricades.
A polished production and confident vocal in places, but did feel that a few more run throughs might’ve helped some lines with delivery.
I’m guilty of rushing things through myself. We are all time constrained here!
@DefRobot thanks for the listen. Is the guitar dead? Probably not but it's getting harder to find new sounds with guitars - maybe alternate tunings or some newfangled yet-to-be-invented effects will come to the rescue.
When my songs were guitar-based they really sounded like indie songs, the roots to 90s music were all too audible. So now I'm using synths I get compared to 80s bands instead
but actually I can say with a fair amount of certainty that my songs sound nothing like Howard Jones or Spandau Ballet! (no offence to your review though). I just think there's more scope for finding new sounds with synths and sampling, so I'm trying to marry that 90s indie thing with different sounds - for example the synth solo at the end of the track is intended to sound like a melodic guitar solo in the style of Galaxie 500, but played via GeoShred into Zeeon rather than a Les Paul into a Twin Reverb.
Anyway, who knows if I'm succeeding in my efforts, not me that's for sure. But I'm trying to find something new, rather than rehashing old genres. It's not easy to come up with a sound that's completely fresh, I think @aaronpc is doing it in style though.
Which reminds me, I need to review your track next!
@crouchie I really like the mix and arrangement on this, not too busy so as to be overpowering but busy enough to not be boring...I could see this on my regular playlist....Nice !
At the start it reminded me of Alabama 3 (Woke up this morning)
@DefRobot love the intro, the vocal there has a Tom Waits quality about it and the overall atmosphere is great - I almost wish the whole song had carried on with that mood. It comes back for the outro, and so concludes the song very nicely but to me it's a much more interesting sonic landscape than the main meat of the track - you should explore this territory further I think because I could definitely imagine a whole song in that style.
The song itself is quite a contrast to that moody intro, with its driving drums and angular guitars, but it lacks the subtlety of the intro and the mood is less interesting to me. Technically though it's all good: well played, well produced, well song and strong musical parts, I like the falsetto singing before the end - it's all technically accomplished.
@Joel75 Nice first submission, that voice instantly made me think of Back to the Planet who i loved back in the day (and since listening to this I have looked them up and it seems they are up and running with a recent release).
I think at the start the vocals could be lifted a bit, the piano is much stronger there, the transition to the full mix could be a bit smoother but once everything else comes in it rolls along nicely.
@DefRobot Great stuff once again....Is there a bass in there ? I have listened out and cant pick it out...Nice dirty organ later on, I love dirty organs so would have that more prominent in the mix.
@JohnnyGoodyear Enjoyed this, and could imagine Mr Reed singing it, although I think you should keep it for your good self..As has come up in other threads this month I am not one for the sentiment in a lyric, but this one clicked with me..
What is that dull organ sound ?
@zpxlng Beautifully quirky and crazy....love it....
@richardyot I didn't get this immediately, it took a few listens, its a grower as they say....I didn't listen to the original sketch..Really nice lead synth sound...vocal sounded hesitant (is hesitant the right word ? Hmmm) in a couple of spots...
@richardyot @DefRobot The guitar is definitely not dead....my entry for this month is waiting for me to strap on the axe, not got long left mind you...
Hey, so, I gave this a few thorough listens. It's mellower that stuff I usually go for, but that shouldn't stop be from being able to do a valid critique.
The levels are good, sounds are pleasing, I like the lyrics, the vocal placement, and effects fit nicely, so to sum it up, it's very well mixed IMO.
If I was your producer, I would suggest trying something to add greater differentiation between the verses in the chorus. They are very similar to each other. Instrumentation-wise, I hear some toms added in the chorus, but not much other change.
Both the verse and the chorus are pretty much whole notes, so the progressions are similar. With the exception of the first "Tantalising fire.." line, which starts on 1, the vocals start each line on the and-of-four in both verse and chorus. I jumped back and forth between the lines "He wanted to control you.." in the verse, and "He took it all on faith" in the chorus, and they an almost identical vocal melody.
Things that might help - a different, maybe lower pitched vocal melody in the verse, which would add more focus on the higher pitched chorus, different vocal phrasing between verse and chorus, a progression that has something other than whole notes in either verse or chorus, maybe syncopation. I find myself in this spot a lot when writing songs, and go through this list above to see how I can mix it up. Just my advice, worth what you paid for it, but I hope it's a little helpful. cheers!
@DefRobot, good tune. Bit of punk, but of old rock. Your voice at times reminds me of Ozzy Osbourne. I didn't hear much bass in there, either too low in the mix, or maybe not there at all, otherwise, I like the mix and arrangement. End is very cool.
@JohnnyGoodyear, love that. Great mix, beautiful simplicity, great lyrics. Nothing else to say about it.
@zpxlng, that's truly unique.
Superb mix and arrangement. You are NOT going to crack the top 10 in the pop charts, but extremely entertaining. Great sounds.
@richardyot, really like the song and the arrangement. I think your vocals are a bit too prominent in the mix, you lose the backing track at times. I do like the lyrics. Mix and sounds, aside from the above mentioned quibble over the vocal was very nicely done.
I feel one overall criticism I'd pass on is that rhythmically, you are most often in the same space, both in tempo, and feel. It's very straight 4/4 pretty much all the time, and the beat count doesn't vary a lot. Maybe a challenge to do something a bit more frantic, or very slow, or pick an unusual time signature and have a go.
@richardyot, I enjoyed your song quite a bit. Very soothing, but not in a "I'm going to fall asleep" kind of way. I think my favorite thing about the piece is the chord progression. Specifically, I really like starting the verses on the iii chord, and the unexpected ii chord on "grace" and "fate" was really cool. Nice round and warm bass sound, which filled out the sort-of electric piano sound nicely. I also liked the drum sound, very realistic, and nice occasional addition of an offbeat hi hat in certain spots. Critiques: Although I admire the non-quantization of the drum track, it may have been a little too "loosey-goosey" in spots. When you first start singing, there's something a little off rhythmically - I think it's the way "Tantalizing" and the snare on beat 2 don't quite play well together. And I very well may be the only one hearing this, in which case the "it's not you, it's me" excuse certainly applies! I also wonder if maybe the reverb is laid on a little strong? Not that it doesn't fit the mood (it does), but as I've gone through years of recording and grown more comfortable with my voice, I've started backing off the reverb (maybe using a slight delay instead) to where I don't really hear it, but more "sense" it. I just know that reverb can sometimes be used as an attempted mask for "almost, but not quite" vocals, and I'm not sure you really need that much. Just a suggestion, as the song is well-written and sounds good!
Really like the rubbery bass/stringed thing sound. I often try to find that and rarely do. Just enough tension, just enough bounce. Parts in the middle remind me or suggest in some way a thoroughly modern Floyd fiddle. Can imagine a piano (slow) over (or under) it all. Also appreciate the suggestion of samples/voices/disembodied somethings in the background....overall a nicely controlled mad groove.