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Comments
@Joel75, it’s a good tune. I think the piano is too loud compared to the vocal at the beginning. You could turn up the vocal throughout, I think, but especially in that beginning part, though she’s a bit pitchy here and there. I like the arrangement a lot.
Thanks v much!
Thank you so very much Rick... wow! If I'd sung this today (two days without ciggies) the manicness would've hit new heights. Mmmm, where's the mic! Sing into it, or fucking eat the bastard? Cheers.
@Bluepunk Brilliantly wild and chaotic.....great work from a single app + your voice.... I'd recommend VoiceRackFX if you want 'easy' finding of vocal FX, I'm guessing you would very quickly make use of the gender changing FX and have a female version of yourself nagging at you from the background while you are trying to tell your stories
... but for me, save for the odd key moment where FX would work, leave your voice as it is...it suits perfectly what you are doing 
Hey Monzo, nice mix of sounds here. I swear I can hear a big evil monster snoring around the one minute mark. I thought sure those metallic percussive sounds echoing later in the track were going to wake him (one of my favorite parts of this). Anyway, good stuff, I enjoyed it.
dammit, no guitar solo, I want my money back! where's my proof of purchase!? as I think someone else posted, to which I agree, this is your best yest, that I've heard, in the 4 months I've been in The Club. Very cool stuff you have going on with Elastic Drums. I've messed with that often, but always end up going with SeekBeats when I want synth drums. This track makes me want to try harder with ED. I like the way you use the multiple vocal tracks too. I give it a B+. The first time I listened without the spoiler, and thought I heard something about titties, but upon reading the lyrics the second time through, it seems it was mis-heard. Titties would have gotten you an A.
Very cool idea to work with someone else's stems and see what you can do with it. you did a nice job on the mix, vocals sit well and the backup vocals are placed well. I think it sounds plenty full enough. SoundCloud probably does some level adjustment, like most of the other online services, to level match.
If I was being critical I'd say the song needs a hook, or needs a way to set the hook apart from the rest of the song. Probably the "getting to the other side" bit is (or should be) the hook, but the track seems to flow in and out of it, without anything to differentiate it. (IMHO, of course). Overall, good job on this though, I enjoyed listening to it.
Hey Joel, welcome to the club! I'm pretty new here myself.
Nice sounding track. Your student has a beautiful voice and it's a nicesong. I had a hard time understanding the lyrics (I mean hearing the words, not understanding the meaning
). Both in the heavily filtered beginning, and after it kicks in. I think the vocals need to come up on the mix. Maybe simply going with a longer attack time, and shorter release on the compressor would be enough to bring them more to the front, or less reverb, if you're using a healthy dose. The drum kit sits back a bit, which may be fine for this genre, but it was during the instrumental bridge that I noticed it, I wanted to hear more snare crack during that. Maybe riding the fader up on the drums during that section would be enough. I hope I'm not sounding too negative, with this being your first time sharing something. Honestly, overall it sounds very good, which causes me to be more nit picky and critical. Look forward to hearing more next month. Cheers!
Thank you Andy, appreciate your kind words and recommendation, which I have got and should've taken time to investigate with intent. Nancy is more than enough 'nag' for these ears thanks mate so I'll pass on that particular effect. Bones, bones, bones. Yes. Soaps, soaps, soaps. NO. Cheers.
Well in that case I'm writing down all the words that rhyme right now. I'd love an A. Thanking you kindly and am just happy that you and others enjoyed it. I know I was very lucky with ED because I didn't have a clue about using all those things that you can alter in 'Jam Mode' and blagged it. 'Settings' buttons petrify me..... seriously. Cheers again.
This is what I was getting at, too. Needs to be a surprise, rather than a distraction.
@Shaken&;Stirred, I greatly appreciate the detailed feedback! It's funny how when WE know what the words are, we tend to mix the vocals maybe a little lower than the average listener would prefer. Cool tip on the compressor setting; I generally just play with the threshold and ratio until it sounds good, but I'll explore the attack and release idea. I generally just keep the drum track stereo from formation to completion but I can certainly see (hear) why it would be nice to have individual control over something like the snare.
As for "Murder", I'll echo what others have said here about the Toy Piano - love it! I liked how it starts panned hard left, and just when I was starting to get disturbed by the missing right side, everything else comes in. I also enjoyed the double tracking of the vocals and the panning of the delays. Cool clean electric guitar chord stabs, with what sometimes sounded like a "wavy pitch" effect. I also thought the accelerando and losing of the swinging feel worked well for the end on the song. My criticisms would be things that I'm almost positive were intentional, such as the way the notes of the toy piano part don't really fit tonally with the other chords. There generally seems to be a prevailing "disturbing" quality, where the different parts don't quite mesh harmonically. Nothing that makes it sound overly dissonant by any stretch. And although the "Red rum is murder spelled backwards" was starting to grate on me a bit by the end, I admit I woke up singing it in my head this morning! So congratulations on creating an ear-worm!
Hey Joel, thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I can tell you listened to it with a focused ear.
There are a couple other chords that don't belong. It was a case of jamming on a riff first, figuring out what's going on later!
the pitch effect you heard on the guitar is correct - that's and effect from Tonestack call "The Duplicator". I have the dry signal panned left, and a 10ms delayed signal hard right with a slight amount of "vari-pitch" enabled. (good ears!)
Also, the atonality of the piano is deliberate, as you thought. That riff is arpeggiated G6/9 - E, and it's in A-Major, so yeah, the G was just visiting.
Regarding the compression attack/release time, this video explains and demonstrates the attack side of it, with a good example. I've noticed a difference in my mixes when paying attention to this. cheers!
That is most certainly over the top, but much thanks!
@Shaken&;Stirred, I greatly appreciate the video. Some great tips in there that I'm definitely going to start putting to use!
While I'm on here— here is an update to an old SOTM entry. Good god I work slow. Anyway, I decided to add vocals, and thought those who helped me with it here may like to see where it ended up as a final. I've already submitted this month, so it's only an FYI if you're interested.
Thanks for listening, and for your kind words. I agree that the wandering synth should go, or at least, be dialed back considerably.
@Shaken&;Stirred I think there's lots of bits I like in "Murder" but I think you should be more ruthless in your arrangement. I would have taken the distorted guitar from the final chorus and opened the track with that ( similar to last month's feedback I think) because it's exciting and catchy. Then I would have added the toy piano as drop somewhere in the track.
I think the toy piano idea is really nice and atmospheric but the melody could be hookier and more memorable I think - it's all on eighth notes and sounds sequenced, I think melodies with pauses and gaps tend to sound more memorable and interesting. It sounds better in the slower version actually, but the rest of the track sounds better in the fast version.
The guitars throughout sound great and are definitely the highlight of the track for me. Vocal melody is good as well. It's a good song which I think could be made even better with some re-arranging basically.
Thanks for listening, and for your kind words. Upon reflection, I agree with you that the synth is far more meandering than wistful, and that the dropout is too abrupt. Thanks again.
Will get around to listening to more other members tracks over the weekend, in the meantime:
Thanks Andy - I try and stick to the same tempo and key for each project, so (usually) the bits gel together
Thanks matey, hope it didn't wake him up!
Thank you! I need to work more on the structured stuff really, but when I'm on the iPad I tend to just jam it out. I do a whole bunch of jams for each track/project, and then pick the best bits. Doesn't always work, but because it's a bit random, the results are always a surprise to me, which keeps me interested.
Hey, thanks for the well thought out feedback, and for listening to both versions, I appreciate it! For most tracks (not all, for sure) my take on arrangement is that it should build, adding new elements as the track progresses, to hold the listener's interest. Like a fireworks show with the grand finale at the end, or a "Stairway to Heaven" kind of thing for a more musical reference! I wanted this track to build like that. To start with the big gits, I feel I would have shot my load too early, and have nowhere to go.
In that last double chorus, I switch the progression from E-A, as it is in the rest of the song to A-E, and the vocal melody along with that has a more uplifting feel, which is probably more catchy, but I wouldn't want that to be the vibe of the track.
I felt the toy piano with the atonal riff was the right thing to build upon. It sets the creepy vibe I was going for. That riff is not straight 8th's btw, it's eights on beats 1 and 2, 16ths on beats 3 and 4 with 37% swing (by modstep standards), so it does have some movement. It's true I originally wrote that for the slower tempo, so maybe some of the coolness of it was a casualty of the faster tempo.
Anyway, probably more analysis of my track that anyone cares about other than me, but there ya have it.
Thanks again for the kind words, cheers!
No, no - the analysis is the point of the exercise
I try and approach the feedback I give as if I was the producer of the song in question, and make the kind of suggestions I would if that was actually the case. This means I can sound critical (sorry about that), and it's also useful and interesting to have some back-and-forth about the feedback.
In this case I totally get what you're saying about the build-up, but maybe something to think about is how to hook your listener in - the last couple of months I found your songs have their most exciting part towards the end - but the first few seconds of the song are arguably the most important of all: think of classic songs such as Smells Like Teen Spirit, Sweet Child O' Mine, Purple Haze etc.... They don't leave their killer hook for the last chorus or the middle eight: they hit you with it in the opening bars, and then they build the song around that hook. You can clearly write cool and and exciting hooks - you should use that skill to the max
You can then still build up the arrangement with drums, percussion, additional parts etc...
Yes! No need to apologize, your feedback is great, and I truly appreciate it. I think your references are spot on, and this is something I will definitely consider and work on with future arrangements.
I think this exchange of ideas is great, but one of the downsides of SOMTC is that the tracks are pretty much in the can by the time they're shared. If you were a producer and we were in a studio, this back and forth would happen at a time when it's easy to try the alternate arrangement. Now it just feels like too much work!
I think this is why writing collaborations work so well for many, with the back and forth exchange of ideas during the writing and arrangement process. Many of us probably work in a bubble and don't lift the curtain to anyone until the final coat of paint has dried.
Yes, but there's always next month.
@richardyot Has a ‘That’s Entertainment’ vibe to me, be interesting to see where your production takes it.
@Bartlinux Feels like this has distinct sections. Starts off all bleeps and bloops then sort of Depeche Mode sounds come in at half pace. I like that change.
Good drop in the mid section before it all gently comes back in. Good groove.
@trackedout Comes in all ‘My Sharona’ at the start, especially the beat. Then morphs into a great slacker rock tune. The most confidence I’ve heard in your vocals, in all the tracks I’ve heard from you.
I love the chaos in this. The guitar break is great and eclectic. Then that bass it drops down to is fantastic. I would’ve cut it straight after the bass. Great track.
@MonzoPro I like the glitchy sounds in this. Reminds me a lot of The Shamen for some reason, but more experimental.
The track morphs a lot, especially towards the end and that keeps up the listening interest.
@Bluepunk I’ve mentioned The Sleafords in conjunction to your music before, but this takes that influence off on a proper tangent.
The poetic nature of this is stark. Manic as hell. Great collapse in the tune/rant at the end before the little outtro.Best yet from you.
@Crouchie Lovely sounding production. Reminds me of Air in the whole feel. The The as produced by Air.
Very clear mix with everything in it’s own sweet spot.
I’m sure the band must’ve been very pleased with the track.