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Comments
Hi mate,
Well your wife should be very happy with it, cos u both did an awesome job!
Thanks for sharing the backstory. I love hearing the stories behind songs & u have really created something great & uplifting out of tragedy, which is not an easy thing to do.
I love the whole 80’s vibe. You do it very well mate. The vocal melody is lovely and your wife sounds fab!
Two observations if I may...
At 3.18 “I will listen for your call” for some reason is very rushed there, it sounds much better at 4.20ish. If I were you I’d copy and paste the 4.20 one into the first as well.
I don’t mind the snare, I love big 80’s snares, but after a while my ears got a bit tired of it.
Now don’t do anything to it on my account, I’m just letting u know how I felt as the song progressed.
I hope those are of some use to you mate. Congrats on a lovely track.
Hi guys,
Sooo...this is the second song I’ve written with my new songwriting partner Johan.
I took care of the lyrics, melody, vocals and Johan did the rest. Our first song Avalanche was an upbeat, hooky affair, this one is..er..the complete opposite I’m afraid, but hopefully still enjoyable.
It’s actually the sequel to my own song “Phantom Love” which I posted on here forever ago.
All thoughts are very welcome. Thanks very much.
@LostBoy85 your voice is sounding better than ever on this one, there's a smidge more restraint in parts, and a lovely range of delivery, from quiet to loud which helps to sell the story, love the short break into falsetto BTW. Nice melody too.
It's definitely a power-ballad, and the uptempo section and the guitar solo at the end reinforce this, I don't find it that different in style to last month's entry, it's got the same DNA to my ears. It's sad but it's not really dark - you live on the sunnier side of the street
The production is great, performances are excellent throughout, good job.
@obijohn Even though your track is mostly synth-based it has quite a strong sixties vibe to it, partly because of the classic-sounding synth patches and also the vocal.
Nice slow intro, that takes its time to build the atmosphere (it might be a fraction too long, I would be tempted to trim it a little I think the first 30 seconds are really strong but then it does meander a little too much with disparate melodies coming in and out). The vocal takes you by surprise when it comes in, which is cool.
The vocal has a simple hookiness to it which is quirky and catchy, and the doubling works well. I think though the track overall is too long, if I was your producer I would trim it down to just the essential parts: keep the beginning of the intro which does a great job of drawing you in to the track but maybe cut some of the instrumental parts later on to create a more concise and tightly arranged song.
Cheers mate.
I use Desktop DAW mostly (my iPad doesn't have enough guts to do what I want with it) But I do use both infact. Tho the iPad is limited at what I throw at it. It is a very good sketchpad. So when I make a stem(as much as the iPad can handle) on the iPad.I transfer it to my Desktop with Ableton Live, & take it further from there. For example: I have the vocal acapella(so I know what key it is & bpm is)Then make a bassline/Chord progression, etc Transfer it to Desktop & put it all together there.If I use Cubasis, or Auria Pro to sequence it, the iPad comes to a grinding halt, especially when I add fx ( the limitations of iOS) Also with Ableton, I can work a lot quicker & it's easier to manipulate the acapella to suite the instrumentals or vicer versa. I use everything that is available to me in my sonic arsenal really.
I would use a banjo if I had one.
Fantastically moving piece. Vocals were spot on. In places I got a Myles Kennedy vibe, especially on the phrase “running through my veins” (high compliment if that wasn’t obvious
). You’ve got a great partnership going here with Johan, I look forward to more.
Thanks. I was toying around with doing a “radio edit” version, including both cuts on the album, and I think you just sealed that deal lol. That does mean cutting out some of my favorite parts, like the thunderstorm intro and the a capella coda, but that stuff will be there in the extended original version so I’m cool with it.
If it was me I would keep the thunderstorm intro, and possibly the accapela outro, and cut some of the less focused/more meandering instrumental sections. Just my opinion and feel free to disregard.
Nice job! The beginning reminds me of the Planet Krypton theme, which is one of my favorite John Williams pieces. Of course you go your own way with the piece and the piano adds a nice melodic element. Well done. My only recommendation would be in the choice of piano. You should seriously consider getting the Ravenscroft 275 piano, especially if you plan on doing more pieces featuring the piano. It’s the best sounding piano on iOS and more than worth the cost (also, I don’t believe it ever goes on sale, so don’t hold out waiting for it, just get it now lol).
Another great one mate. Fab production.
Well, sorry, but I can’t disregard your opinion!
I’ll be honest and say that it does concern me that you found some of the intro parts less focused, as each phrase has an intentional musical purpose in an overall arc from the initial “requiem” to the upbeat core of the song. So it tells me you got a “is this even going anywhere?” message, completely opposite to the flow I intended. Which means I failed in my task musically, or at least structurally. That can’t be just disregarded. 
I mean, it’s okay in my mind for a causal listener to not “get it” (as long as they keep listening, in which case the job was done), but I have to take it seriously when more experienced composers find it lacking focus. At the very least it’s given me a lot to think about. Anyway, thanks for the constructive criticism, very much appreciated.
EDIT: Yeah strike all that. Not sure where all that defensiveness came from. Sorry about that, definitely not in the spirit of the SOTMC! Carry on!
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My entry this time around. Just like last month, more of a sketch than a real complete song. Arrangement is not my thing. Hope you like it nonetheless.
Epic track, seems to touch on some different eras and has a nice progression to different places.
Great track, mix sound clean to me. The vocals seem to be in the "proper" place and could stay there but I kind of agree with you that they could come down just a touch.
I liked the feel and groove of this track. Nice sounds and transitions. As long as it’s in the “sketch” phase, my favorite section was 5:20-6:05 or so, and I really wanted that to continue for longer. I felt the claps came in too soon, almost forcing me out of the zone that you had so neatly set up. But hey, if that was your intention, no need to change it. Everybody has parts of songs they wish lasted longer.
Thanks for the feedback - The Ravenscroft definitely sounds promising. I did not have a sustain pedal either so it was a little tricky. I definitely plan on more piano landscapes.
Gotta agree with previous posters, the arrangement and mix are great. I commented on SC as well but I really enjoyed this! All Gadget?! I used to rock Gadget on my iPhone 6 and yeah, the battery drain was/is bruuuuutal, not to mention on that screen size, yikes! Great job though!!
Thank u, v kind! Can just about manage on the bigger phone, but it’s great to have it so accessible to just try things out.
Man, if Portishead and Daft Punk had a baby I'm pretty sure it would sound like this!!! And that's a great thing
Don't mind the date, it is the newest/latest I've done:
Sequenced in Auxy, sampled from Blocs Wave, GarageBand iOS and Groovebox. Chopped up everything in AudioShare. The whole shebang was run through Grand Finale. I think that's all the apps under the hood!
Brilliantly done. I can imagine this played on a beach party here in Cyprus(in the summer). Loved all of it. As the Greek Cypriots would say here........ "Bomba!".... Great job mate.
I like the mechanical percussion, and the dissonant piano was very cool! The vocal sound fits perfectly with the feel of the track. I did kind of want more of that bass that closes out the track, it might make for a nice intro as well. Good job on the track!
@studs1966 @obijohn Thanks guys!
Mr. YDot, I like The Cup. The vocals sound a bit stressed, maybe strained in the 2 verses, however that disappears in the chorus. The melody is soothing, easy to listen to. It's a great interlude to a hectic afternoon.
Why the sad face? Great sounds here. I like the choral break at 1:46, and the badass bass return at 2:55. The tension rises in the last minute before fading into the sad sunset. Smile Dude, you nailed it!
Wow! I could feel the Need, the pain and the despair that you offered up in this song. The video adds a dimension that just pulls it all together.
Thanks for that insight. I've been looking at Cubasis - why I don't really know since Studio One does everything I need, and more that I don't even know about yet. Pretty sure Cubasis will be put on hold.
Oi! Wake up! Page 7! Never before has this Club taken a day to find! Wake up! Oi!
Great mood... I really like that Wobble guitar and the bells together .
@crouchie
Splendido. Delicious sounds throughout and all roiling delightfully together.