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Song of the Month Club - December

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Comments

  • edited December 2015

    Black Dog's Love Song

    Here's a morsel of a minute's worth, brought about by The Black Dogs that descend upon some of us sometimes. While writing the words I was thinking of Dorothy Parker, while adding the music, our friend @monzo.

    Shellfish lead to swelling
    of that there is no doubt,
    booze will pass to yelling
    spider-veins and gout,
    hackles get all raised and shit
    anguish makes us growl,
    yet love alone drives a man
    to throwing in the towel.

  • edited December 2015

    @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    Black Dog's Love Song

    Here's a morsel of a minute's worth, brought about by The Black Dogs that descend upon some of us sometimes. While writing the words I was thinking of Dorothy Parker, while adding the music, our friend @monzo.

    Shellfish lead to swelling
    of that there is no doubt,
    booze will pass to yelling
    spider-veins and gout,
    hackles get all raised and shit
    anguish makes us growl,
    yet love alone drives a man
    to throwing in the towel.

    String em together and I'm a buyer....

  • @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    Black Dog's Love Song

    Here's a morsel of a minute's worth, brought about by The Black Dogs that descend upon some of us sometimes. While writing the words I was thinking of Dorothy Parker, while adding the music, our friend @monzo.

    Shellfish lead to swelling
    of that there is no doubt,
    booze will pass to yelling
    spider-veins and gout,
    hackles get all raised and shit
    anguish makes us growl,
    yet love alone drives a man
    to throwing in the towel.

    Nice one @JohnnyGoodyear, fabulous words. Where is @monzo Is he ok?

  • @Bluepunk Thanks for the thoughts. I believe Mister @monzo is in Wales, although not entirely Welsh. As for how he's doing I have no idea, no news, no indication; he doesn't call, he doesn't write. I imagine he's fermenting just nicely....

  • @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    @Bluepunk Thanks for the thoughts. I believe Mister @monzo is in Wales, although not entirely Welsh. As for how he's doing I have no idea, no news, no indication; he doesn't call, he doesn't write. I imagine he's fermenting just nicely....

    Thanks for the mentions guys, brewing nicely here in stormy Wales. Needed a break after the forum mauling the other week. Moving forward though, I'm still reading and enjoying posts on here, and shaking marital foundations with my appaholism.

    It's nice and friendly in the SOTM thread so I'll carry on posting my rubbish in here. I've been experimenting with AP so might have something done soon, and will post my 'sounds great, like it' comments later.

  • @monzo welcome back, with a fresh copy of AP no less :)

    @Igneous1 You're very much continuing on that jazzy 1970s fusion journey - your latest track has even more of that feel than the previous one, partly down to the choice of sounds, but also very much the music, especially the changes. It's got the funky bass and the groove keeps it bopping along, it's an interesting direction.

  • @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    @Bluepunk Thanks for the thoughts. I believe Mister @monzo is in Wales, although not entirely Welsh. As for how he's doing I have no idea, no news, no indication; he doesn't call, he doesn't write. I imagine he's fermenting just nicely....

    Thanks @JohnnyGoodyear It's been a while so was hoping he's ok. I'm in Wales so if I fire up Cyclops, adjust volume to extra high & drive around the Valley's with speakers hanging out of the car windows, I'm sure he'll be drawn out (like a Bisto gravy trail). :wink:

    By the way, your lyrics for Black Dog are brilliantly clever & emotional. You are able to tell a story in only 3 or 4 words. A*+.

  • @High5denied There's a good and funny song in there but it definitely needs a little more polish. Here are my thoughts so far:

    I think the guitars can come in sooner, the drum intro is a bit too long.

    You need more on the bottom end: a more prominent kick drum and a bass guitar (or other bass instrument) to anchor the rhythm section.

    Singing is good overall, in tune (which is good) but some phrases are rushed and/or slightly out of time. You might need to tweak the lyrics in some parts so that the meter flows a bit better (fewer words per line).

    Guitar playing is great. The song itself is quirky and angry at the same time, quite a fun combination.

  • @JohnnyGoodyear Very unusual to post anything at all so early in the month (isn't it usually around the 30th that you like to make your contribution?), but to post two in the first fortnight is unprecedented.

    I like the latest, even though it's only a fragment. It's worth developing more I think, you could easily flesh it out into something that's a couple of minutes longer. It could have a wistful harmonica solo as an interlude in the middle, followed by a second verse that wraps the whole thing up.

  • @richardyot said:
    @JohnnyGoodyear Very unusual to post anything at all so early in the month (isn't it usually around the 30th that you like to make your contribution?), but to post two in the first fortnight is unprecedented.

    I like the latest, even though it's only a fragment. It's worth developing more I think, you could easily flesh it out into something that's a couple of minutes longer. It could have a wistful harmonica solo as an interlude in the middle, followed by a second verse that wraps the whole thing up.

    Thanks Mister R. I'm all about the wistful harmonica-ness, excepting not being able to play it. I like the Black Dogs thing as is, even as short as it is (maybe a link/filler for that difficult Side Three of the double album etc).

    My biggest problem with it is the words. I like them, they say what I wanted to just perfectly (for me). And when that happens (only once in a while) and then I leave them for more than about ten minutes it's as though they set in stone and become almost as if written by someone else. Secretly I think I must have stolen or dreamt them and surely could never match them with more etc etc. I'm sure this weakness of mind is very common. Or that's what my front-of-house therapist tells my hind-brain lizard so full of doubt and worry.

    Might still do some more with it, but am happy that I've managed what I did etc.

    Harmonica. Hmmmm.

  • @monzo said:

    @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    @Bluepunk Thanks for the thoughts. I believe Mister @monzo is in Wales, although not entirely Welsh. As for how he's doing I have no idea, no news, no indication; he doesn't call, he doesn't write. I imagine he's fermenting just nicely....

    Thanks for the mentions guys, brewing nicely here in stormy Wales. Needed a break after the forum mauling the other week. Moving forward though, I'm still reading and enjoying posts on here, and shaking marital foundations with my appaholism.

    It's nice and friendly in the SOTM thread so I'll carry on posting my rubbish in here. I've been experimenting with AP so might have something done soon, and will post my 'sounds great, like it' comments later.

    Well done that man. The SOTMC is a warm retreat for all manner of scoundrels, vagabonds and other musical marginals. Glad to hear you're still tootling away (of course you are).

  • @richardyot said:
    @High5denied There's a good and funny song in there but it definitely needs a little more polish. Here are my thoughts so far:

    I think the guitars can come in sooner, the drum intro is a bit too long.

    You need more on the bottom end: a more prominent kick drum and a bass guitar (or other bass instrument) to anchor the rhythm section.

    Singing is good overall, in tune (which is good) but some phrases are rushed and/or slightly out of time. You might need to tweak the lyrics in some parts so that the meter flows a bit better (fewer words per line).

    Guitar playing is great. The song itself is quirky and angry at the same time, quite a fun combination.

    Thanks for these thoughts and tips. Much appreciated. I've got a bass guitar hidden in there, but....It may need to be brought out more. Fewer words per line........hmmm...Great idea.... I've already got some of the verses and chorus trimmed down in my head...now to just make it to the mic to get er done.

    Thanks for listening and commenting!

  • @Bluepunk said:

    @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    @Bluepunk Thanks for the thoughts. I believe Mister @monzo is in Wales, although not entirely Welsh. As for how he's doing I have no idea, no news, no indication; he doesn't call, he doesn't write. I imagine he's fermenting just nicely....

    Thanks @JohnnyGoodyear It's been a while so was hoping he's ok. I'm in Wales so if I fire up Cyclops, adjust volume to extra high & drive around the Valley's with speakers hanging out of the car windows, I'm sure he'll be drawn out (like a Bisto gravy trail). :wink:

    By the way, your lyrics for Black Dog are brilliantly clever & emotional. You are able to tell a story in only 3 or 4 words. A*+.

    Ah, good to see you back @monzo & looking forward to your next tune. I can now turn the car around up here in the Valleys & head back home before there's nothing left on my car to steal! The Cyclop's internal "owners search engine" is definitely working! :wink:

  • Hey @High5denied,so I'm listening again to your track,its a cool song,I like the style but a few things came to mind and it's all just my opinion.Initially I wasn't feeling the intro but it does settle a little with repeated listens.(I'm still not sure about it though It is 40 seconds long which I thinks too long,unless you have a crazy "sweet child of mine" or aha "take on me" kind of hook,then I think it's best to get to the vocal soon as,to keep the listener interested.)

    You sing the verses well enough mate but the chorusey bit has timing issues.Its hard to keep time with a minimal beat in the background.(trust me,I just did that ACAPPELLA song to a bloody metronome!) A little trick I learnt and what I would suggest is to create an extra drum track with exactly the same drums as the verse looped throughout the choruses as they are easier to sing to.rerecord your vocals and then when your done,just bring back the original drums and mute the extra track.Voila! Your timing should be much better.(does that make sense?)

    There's a couple of pops In places .52-.55 ish in the left phone,1.32ish,2.14,2.25 & 2.42.These all seem to be drum related.

    The guitar work is excellent my friend! :D
    Do u compress your vocal? How about EQ? I feel it needs brightening up slightly so it can sit on top a bit better,it's a little muffled to my ears.The overall volume of it sits well with the music,I just think it needs tweaking to make it shine.

    I agree about the bass needing to come up a bit mate.

    So yeah...those are my thoughts mate,do with them what you will.I hope this helps :)
    I look forward to hearing the finished track.

  • edited December 2015

    :)

  • @LostBoy85 said:
    Hey @High5denied,so I'm listening again to your track,its a cool song,I like the style but a few things came to mind and it's all just my opinion.Initially I wasn't feeling the intro but it does settle a little with repeated listens.(I'm still not sure about it though It is 40 seconds long which I thinks too long,unless you have a crazy "sweet child of mine" or aha "take on me" kind of hook,then I think it's best to get to the vocal soon as,to keep the listener interested.)

    You sing the verses well enough mate but the chorusey bit has timing issues.Its hard to keep time with a minimal beat in the background.(trust me,I just did that ACAPPELLA song to a bloody metronome!) A little trick I learnt and what I would suggest is to create an extra drum track with exactly the same drums as the verse looped throughout the choruses as they are easier to sing to.rerecord your vocals and then when your done,just bring back the original drums and mute the extra track.Voila! Your timing should be much better.(does that make sense?)

    There's a couple of pops In places .52-.55 ish in the left phone,1.32ish,2.14,2.25 & 2.42.These all seem to be drum related.

    The guitar work is excellent my friend! :D
    Do u compress your vocal? How about EQ? I feel it needs brightening up slightly so it can sit on top a bit better,it's a little muffled to my ears.The overall volume of it sits well with the music,I just think it needs tweaking to make it shine.

    I agree about the bass needing to come up a bit mate.

    So yeah...those are my thoughts mate,do with them what you will.I hope this helps :)
    I look forward to hearing the finished track.

    This is a great review/response, I'm sure it will be useful to Mister High, but I also learned from reading it. Dix points (says the French judge).

  • edited December 2015

    Here we go, hat thrown in ring again....

  • edited December 2015

    https://soundcloud.com/fras42/transient-worlds

    Hi everyone

    This is my first submission however I finished some pure IOS made tracks before. And this is the first beatless track I made. Though finished earlier I labelled is as unfinished and yesterday, while searching for some of my samples I found it on the drive and found it perfect match since my daughter was born on Wednesday and this was I was waiting for. Alchemy and I-density and some field recording samples by myself :) Arranged in Nanostudio. 100% iOS
    Please bear with me as my English is my best tool to express myself.

    richardyot

    Easy listening, it was comfortable, for me, to read the lyrics while listening. If it is 100% IOS then I am satisfied with the sound quality, though ii is still a raw material as you mentioned. And yes the singing could be better but you are aware of it.

    Chef’s Omelette

    Very playfull and creative. Sounds nice, though I do not have gadget I hear the lows are quite clean, I perceive the mix quite balanced. Nice.

    Binge

    Man that sounds cool. This is the the music by means of electronic instruments :) And makes me dance. the vocal is OK too.

    If I ever.

    Acapella is not my cup of tea but this. This is sweet. Evolving, nice head and tail :) thoughtfully designed

    Rise of The Capacitor

    This is eclectic. I hear the old Genesis, even King Crimson and something IOSish contemporary
    This is my favorite as I go through the December tracks. Rich.

    Ukulele Rain

    The best sounding track for me (December SOTMC). Very cool voice or the overall voices layers at the end! :)

  • @LostBoy85 - Thanks so much for taking the time to listen again and offer all of the thoughts and tips. I appreciate it! I think I concur on your thoughts on the intro. Too long. I may ditch it all together, not sure yet. It's a cool little preset I made in Bias FX, like a slicing FX on the guitar. Wanted to try to use it in a song, wasn't even part of it initially.

    Agreed on the Chorus too. I had felt my timing might be off a bit, wasn't sure. I think @richardyot thoughts on using fewer words is one I will put into place, and that may help in the timing. Also, your thought on a different drum beat on the chorus to keep time better is great! Infact, that is how I kept time with my guitars, used a drum track in the background, when it was time to lay down vocals though, I had already taken out the drum track used for my guitars, and placed in the accent beats.

    I appreciate the finding of the pops, I didn't hear them, but you and @rkmonkey were kind enough to hone in on them. I wonder if the pops are a place where the drums might have clipped? I'll have to check.

    I do compress my vocals, I compressed the hell-a-valoovah out of them. lol....I may need to figure out how to record them less harshly. Other rockers do it, just haven't figured it out yet. I EQ'd em a bit, but still need to perfect that on em.

    Thanks again! I appreciate the time to go through my song and offer those tips!

  • Welcome to SOTMC fRAS, good to have you here....

    I like the overall vibe/ambiance very much and your 'field samples' feel very well-placed. Perhaps they sound/work all the better because I don't understand the words, which makes them the more mysterious and this piece IS quietly mysterious.

    The whole thing is very well controlled and understated in a way that I find so hard to do with instrumentals. You are patient with the work and it rewards you :) A very nice first entry.

    The only critique I would have is the ending is too sudden/unfinished. Ambient tunes do have a tendency to drift away (understandably) and I think it would be cool to bring it to some kind of different resolution, but this track deserves a 'proper' conclusion.

    OK, down to business: How's the baby doing? What's her name? What language will she grow up speaking?

  • edited December 2015

    @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    Welcome to SOTMC fRAS, good to have you here....

    I like the overall vibe/ambiance very much and your 'field samples' feel very well-placed. Perhaps they sound/work all the better because I don't understand the words, which makes them the more mysterious and this piece IS quietly mysterious.

    The whole thing is very well controlled and understated in a way that I find so hard to do with instrumentals. You are patient with the work and it rewards you :) A very nice first entry.

    The only critique I would have is the ending is too sudden/unfinished. Ambient tunes do have a tendency to drift away (understandably) and I think it would be cool to bring it to some kind of different resolution, but this track deserves a 'proper' conclusion.

    OK, down to business: How's the baby doing? What's her name? What language will she grow up speaking?

    She is Dora and we speak slovak :) Thank you for your feedback I found it very interesting. I do not understand the words either it is the old radio receiver, with stupid speaker, which you can adjust to receive on 'short waves' very distant radio stations speaking weird (and I like your mysterious) languages ;) But these are picked because I understand a bit. it's something "sefl-confidence ..... level..., calendar'). Maybe you're right and the end should me more understandable (hm in what way)
    I remember I was not very happy with the spaceness feeling and clearer distances. Good points

    Maybe there is more to just reverb, but there is not too much control of it in Alchemy, but there is some more from iDensity reverb. Yes and I used Audioshare a lot.

  • @High5denied hey dude,my pleasure and I do think it's clipping on the drums mate.

    I was walking the dogs this morning and found myself singing your chorus which is obviously a good sign of a hook.Good luck with it all mate. :)

  • @fRAS First, welcome to the club & I hope you enjoy your time here. Second, welcome to the world Dora & the same sentiment.

    I think you've managed to cleverly write a soundtrack of a safe & secure place for your daughters first beautiful nine months. Like the start of a life, slowly but surely evolving into the miracle that has been lovingly created. I liked the radio snippets that you've added & it reminded me of the sounds I used to hear whilst trying desperately to tune into Radio Luxembourg way back in the mid seventies. It adds an edge to the mystical underbelly of your song.

    Good work fFRAS & to release it in the week of your daughters birth, I think is both apt & special. :smile:

  • @High5denied liked that, think the guitars come through well. Agree the intro might need a bit of sorting out but the main body of the song really beds in and runs through very nicely. Heard the pops too (have been having all sorts of problems with that on Auria Pro using midi, but I don't know if that was the case with u). Great stuff

  • @JohnnyGoodyear love the backing, great sound bed, what did you do that on? Like the vocals, echo the brevity comments.
    @Simon_Acetone I like that retro electro, almost chip tone in places, vibe. Nice use of the sample from the naughty man. I just wondered if you had used much EQ and compression/saturation? I think this works as proper retro sampling piece, but it would sound even better with a bit more bottom and a brighter high end, then just a bit of compression to knit it together a bit and bring the general level up. Good work
    @fRAS lovely tune, but the sample really makes it, a ton of atmosphere. Nice

  • @JohnnyGoodyear,well this one sounds like an old Irish gypsy kind of tune that should have 47 verses! :wink: nice job!

  • @crouchie said:
    @JohnnyGoodyear love the backing, great sound bed, what did you do that on? Like the vocals, echo the brevity comments.

    Thanks Mister Crouch. Backing bed was mainly Alchemy and some Earhoof which play nice together I find...

  • @LostBoy85 said:
    @JohnnyGoodyear,well this one sounds like an old Irish gypsy kind of tune that should have 47 verses! :wink: nice job!

    As an old Irish gypsy (of a kind) I just need to find another 46 verses...

  • @rkmonkey said:

    @JohnnyGoodyear said:
    Black Dog's Love Song

    Here's a morsel of a minute's worth, brought about by The Black Dogs that descend upon some of us sometimes. While writing the words I was thinking of Dorothy Parker, while adding the music, our friend @monzo.

    Shellfish lead to swelling
    of that there is no doubt,
    booze will pass to yelling
    spider-veins and gout,
    hackles get all raised and shit
    anguish makes us growl,
    yet love alone drives a man
    to throwing in the towel.

    String em together and I'm a buyer....

    No kinder compliment, thank you.

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