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Comments
Many thanks & I will be checking Firo out. Chords.....It's like learning a foreign language!
Well, wait until I tell the boys down at the Old Punks Home. Chords. The very idea.
It's OK actually, as long as he makes sure not to learn more than three.
@richardyot
A very nice song and I have no issues with the vocals, apart from they are perhaps a bit high in the mix. It's the mix itself that I think needs work. There's too much low frequency / mid low frequency 'mud' and little space for the mix to 'breathe'. It's too limited / compressed too, which adds to this.
Is that an ebow I hear at the intro ? It sounds slightly sharp, but I'LL refrain from commenting further if it's isn't an ebow.
Yes I think you're quite right (pretty much alluded to this in my post about limiting). It's definitely over-compressed, and also the frequency balance could be improved (which is the story with all my mixes). The struggle for me is that I don't like too much separation in my mixes because I think it makes them sound sterile, but I haven't yet managed to quite get the "wall of sound" thing right yet. In this case I also wanted to play with the Lurssen mastering app, which only made things worse
Yes, that is an E-bow, well spotted. There's also an E-bow "solo" in the instrumental bridge. If it's a bit sharp I must have bent the string (subconsciously) while I was playing, because I'm careful to tune the guitar before recording.
We call it drooling over here under the red blanket...
The ebow can be a tricky beast to work with. One thing to be aware of is that if you are directly over the hot spot it has a tendency to pull the string sharp, even if the guitar is in tune.
I didn't know that, it probably is right over the pickup in that intro part. Thanks for the tip. I haven't quite tamed the E-bow yet, I love the sound it makes but it's not easy to play.
@High5denied @theconnactic @Bluepunk @richardyot Thanks for the nice comments, guys. I'm definitely going to be messing with it at least a little more, but it's good to know the road is thus far clear of debris.
C'mon @rkmonkey I know you were puffing on one behind the bike shed with us as well! Own up
@JohnnyGoodyear hi mate I just listened to "Adven Turin" I actually really liked it.I love sci fi,and I love audiobooks,so combine those and that now must mean that I love...you? did you write it? It's very interesting.And the music marries well with it.And hey,no juicy mouth noises to be heard. nice work!
Thanks Mister Leo.
That piece is another example of how things appear oddly in the head. An old friend of mine got back from a year in Antarctica and -to a weird SOTMC-type group of writers I hang out with- he suggested the topic of the month: Adventuring. Lots of stories about expeditions lost out on the ice and pirates doing what pirates do, none of which appealed to me, but I saw the turing part of the word and happened to be thinking then about AI (I'm always thinking about AI) and, to some degree, the converse; what does it mean to be human (especially in secular terms)....
@Bluepunk 'Ello mataaah! Nice to hear a different pace from you on this track.I think your vocal delivery,melody choices in the first minute are superb.Its not that the rest is bad,it's just I think you did some cooler stuff melodically in that first min.Good song,not really my taste but I appreciate the work that you've put in.
Now listen,for god sake turn your vocal up a bit.I would rather it was too loud than too quiet.For most of us writing lyrics is the hardest part of songwriting so why do all that work for the listener to sit there struggling to make out what you're talking about.I know some people use the "confidence" thing as a defence for that,but Kev you can sing bloody well mate so you don't get a pass on that from me. ...or is it just that I have to listen better?? I also think that it would be cool for the songwriters in general on this forum to post their lyrics aswell.I know @richardyot has done that a few times.
I thought the music was very cool and dark to my ears,I think you do some excellent work with the tools you use.Especially guitarism! That dev should be slipping you some cash!
Keep at it my man!
Leo
@LostBoy85 Good to see you back Leo. After having our collars felt by our Headmaster @richardyot for mitching Febs class, we've got to be on our bestest behaviour. I didn't fancy detention....again, so thought if I post my lyrics with all those expletives..............
Yes, that's a valid point & I will, in future post the lyrics so you can all follow along with the swearing in time Thanks for your kind words & from a top singster like yourself, up another rung on the ladder of confidence/belief I go.
I've been talking to Adil at Rhism, obviously thanking him first, & hopefully there's an update soon (ish). I cannot, will not update to ios9 until his wee app does. It will work stand alone but could have issues if being used in AB. I'm dying to have a go on GB new drummer as well but need to be on ios9 for that.
Anyways thanks again & am looking forward to hearing your new tune. If you impress the gaffer he may let you off writing those extra lines. I must be greedy cos I was always quite partial to an extra line or two........................(refer to song).
@crouchie Hey man,nice track! I thought the music was cool and man,you crammed some words in this one eh?!;) for the most part you nailed it I think.i loved the harmonies and the structure.
You're obviously very talented and you know what you're doing.Just a couple of things I noticed/suggestions & please keep or sweep.
Firstly the word "see" at around .35 is a little off tune. (Bloody hard to get that right i know,and I dread to think how many takes it would get me to nail the pitch on that one)
Secondly,I thought the transition into the second chorus was a little busy.Id suggest losing the "cos" at the beginning of that chorus and see if that flows better.Its a fast delivery kind of song but you don't want to rush and that point was a bit of a rush to get all the words in,imo.
Lastly & this is just a subjective thing,I love the decision to drop a third chorus and go a different route and I like how the music builds and fades but if I'm honest I felt it just out stayed it's welcome by about 30 seconds or so.
All in all,another impressive contribution mate
Nice work
Leo
Many thanks for that. Always very detailed and helpful, much appreciated. I'm glad u liked it cos views have been mixed. Interestingly @crony has taken the vocal stems and is doing a very exciting sounding re-imagining of the tune. I'm looking forward to the finished article v much, he's a v talented fella!.
Now I need to get reviewing the other tunes this month, my guilt is getting the better of me.
Cheers
P
@orchardman Hey my friend your channelling is still working. Since you released your tune 2nd March, there hasn't been one drop of the wet stuff down here. I thank you!
You couldn't give Michael Fish a few pointers could you.
The sun always shines on the righteous my friend. Either that or it's finally spring time. Now if I can just get my next track to raise the temperature up a few notches we'd be laughing.
He's not dead then, that Michael Fish? Always presumed he'd have toddled off by now. I've lost all track of UK weathermen. Glad to hear he's still being Fish-y. Surprised in some ways he's not at SXSW this week, every other bugger seems to be...
I remember being on Vaushall Bridge at 2am that night and wishing I'd stayed back in the bed I'd just so rudely left...always presumed that storm was a personal punishment the rest of London had to pay for...(oddly reassuring to realize how much more self-obsessed I was was back then )
Vauxhall Bridge at 2am! I won't ask Luckily, I was in the boozer. Acting responsibly & for the first time listening to the coppers, for safety reasons, we were advised to stay inside the pub. Well..........that's what I told the wife anyway.
Finally a reasonably timed entry! Enjoy!
I'll get to my feedback this weekend. Thanks guys!
@TGiG there's some interesting stuff going on here, the interweaving melodies in the intro, the strings that add a rhythmic groove, and the gradually building layers, some good dynamics - especially the break at 1.50.
I would say that the piece could do with more rhythmic variety in the melodies though: all the notes in the individual melodies are perfectly evenly spaced, 1, 2, 3, 4, and it all feels over-quantized and mechanical. As a human, I want to feel some human emotion in the music so that I can relate to it, and this piece does not really feel human, for want of a better description.
That's not to say you shouldn't quantize, or use MIDI etc, but some less predictable rhythms and dynamics in the playing would definitely put more feeling into the tune.
But other than that there were some interesting ideas and progressions in the music, it had an almost classical feel to it.
Wow! Very cool, @TGiG! I really loved the piano riff. Congrats!
I just posted another one, made today while my Rio de Janeiro was flooded by the heaviest rains in, say, years! I started it in GB and several IAAs, and finished it in AP. It's not another submission for the march edition of SOTM - since I already submitted two songs! - but I find this thread the best place to share it. Feedback will be much appreciated.
Dimitri
@TGiG After a few listens, it's really grown on me. It's like whoevers left from Ultrasound & Killing Joke have downed their normal tools, got together (Mmmm, I don't think so) & recorded an orchestral instrumental with modern drum machine beats!
The constant riff (KJ) accompanied with splashes of colour & some light & shade (US) is a mix my ears are not used to hearing & are now all the better for it. The sweeping intro, lovely piano & string work that flow through your tune all give a solid base. The drums (sound & playing style) do a good job of reminding us that this new & now.
Liked the part from 2.45 where you speed up those notes & makes it feel more urgent along its way to the end. Yeah, a good listen to your song has ensured a good start to my day. Cheers.
@High5denied dude! I love how you keep working on your songs,very commendable!
There's a lot of sponsorship deal potential in this track,from balloon makers everywhere (especially red ones!),subway,Mountain Dew etc.I do love the quirky lyrics in this track for sure.
However I have to be honest and say that where the song trips me up is the meter/rhythm of the chorus.The timing throws me man,I'm sorry.In my head I hear the vocal starting on the kick drum...hmm...if u want you could send me the chorus music mix and the lyrics and I can try and see if I'm just talking bollocks or if I might be able to help the flow a bit better?? No worries if not,it's just hard to explain what I mean:(
Bottom line is that I enjoy the song,but imo it still needs a little work.
Just my honest two cents mate.
Keep at it!
Leo
Hey! For me at least, never stop the constructive honesty you give about my songs! I appreciate it from everyone. It only makes my songs better, and what I am trying to do better. I agree that it needs more work. But, without comments like yours and others......I wouldn't know what to do! So Thank you! I did post the song on my FB page, cuz I thought it was good enough for my friends to hear. lol.......
Thanks for listening. I'll send you the Chorus and see what magic you can drudge up