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Comments
Just before I say anything else; love the end, perfect. As for the tune I have decided (look at me) that you are the Dr. Johnson of your day (albeit him having more of a taste for the devout Anglican approach and all things Tory than you might have...I'm just guessing here). A wise eye on the doings around you but with a tendency to undiagnosed Tourette's....
Would like to read an essay on your visit to the docks...more details etc
@Bluepunk : brilliant, witty wordsmithery with enough potential radio bleeps to create a new rhythm track! I liked it. A well observed commentary on our times and times past.
Thank you. I'm more interested in this idea of turning expletives into rhythms. New app light bulb moment. To us intellectuals (that's all but me) here on AB, the new app shall be known as "Fuck Drum." To the punters on the street, we will drop the D and R from drum and release as "Fuck um."
Cheers.
Great idea @Bluepunk
@Johnn>; @JohnnyGoodyear said:
I will jot something down this evening. Not too much though because they are still looking for a consignment of dodgy Man U shirts that went missing from there a few years back. I can't seem to shift the bastards so have to be careful who's listening in
Never knew the reds were sponsored by Harp lager. They missed the S off in the printers. The ink workers were based in the back streets of Burnage so it makes complete sense to my Blue brain.
I'm going to be getting down to a bit of fuck um & bass later
Haha. Second "new genre" this club has created this month. One day.....yes, I firmly believe that one day soon, someone or some people are going to spring from this here talent filled hot tub and land slap bang onto some record companies fat deckchair. Warm, thick towels are ready on the decking adjacent.
Another pastiche from yours truly.
Andy Mackay, Phil Manzanera, Brian Eno, Paul Thompson, and The Bassplayer have gathered together for a Roxy Music rehearsal, but Bryan Ferry has not yet arrived. The assembled gentlemen proceed to do what they do so well. And all is going well. In the last moments, Mr Ferry arrives, flings his jacket aside, leans over his piano, and proceeds to ride out the song with the band.
I swear it's true!
Thanks for listening.
An essay.
Thank you. You know I enjoy a chat and you also know that I bow down to and adore your word skills. Apart from enjoying your songs, listening to your words have helped me to improve mine. For instance, in this I used Carcharodon Carcharias. 12 months ago it would've been - WTF is that big black triangle in the ocean with a lot of red pumping upwards from and around it!
Lots of folk ask me "why that language in song mode?" Well ok, 15 actually, all those unfortunate enough to HAVE to listen. You beautiful people here and the 3 I have bound and gagged with headphones on max, up the attic. I will let em go once they sing "Downtown Abbey grew their own veg." Disbelievers......I dunno. I blame my niece for the swearing. Until she stops calling me "Puncle Kuv," I feel as though I should continue. She messaged me with an alternative at the weekend.....Huncle Kuv. Trust me, that doesn't match. She tried to change it but her idea of a "hunk" differs greatly from mine. I cannot, will not, wear speedos or sing Euro-pop like............David Hasselhoff! I need to speak to my sister about her. Serious issues.
The Docks. Nothing to hide. Many escapades, many escapes. Too many for an essay, so as the song relates to Maud, I'll stick there. We go back a long way. In one of our previous incarnations, I was a completely lost, drug addicted, alcoholic, ex Squadie. Maud was on the take....on the dock gate. Now, we are both reformed characters (Mmmm) and I try to help folks out that find themselves like I once was.
So back then, my career path led me to some black shit holes and eventually to a gang. Crooks. They liked my chat. Could use it. I needed cash for my fix so seemed like serendipity (is that the right word). No real names allowed in the gang. Kids, I thought.
I became Dick the Distraction for some occasions and Charlie the Charm for the better gigs....that's debatable now, looking back. Ok, so Maude had Charlie every Tuesday night when her hubby was off on the ale playing darts, then a pretend Dick (it's very complicated) on Fridays when the NOT drug related merch (I must've completely been off my head eh) sailed in. Long story but she sussed me out as part of this bigger, real scam. Recognised my distinct, alluring aftershave combo of stale joints and Vodka with a dab of speed. You missed out there Becks. I'm gunna take you on in the aftershave wars matey.
Anyway, she clocked me. She had a call from our financial advisor, Fred. The upshot was that the Tuesdays would carry on as usual but then after the deed was done, I would have to leave a wad of cash (extra sweetener) on her bedside table like she'd just done me a fucking favour. Jesus! My Dick got used more than my Charlie. Sounds great in that sentence doesn't it but I preferred playing Charlie. Had a ball. When the "client" did Charlie, (and the drug, most did), their stashes (in sorrowful voice - "silly people, why did you show me") came home with me. Win, win. All small time stuff....until the chief wanted to get bigger and my one remaining brain cell and the one, hanging by a thread degree on my moral compass stepped up. That and the introduction into the gang of a bloke the size of a Tesco Superstore. Neil the Knee. I wanted to have the choice to be able to play football again so I left.
So, apart from the Docks smelling of Omega 3 and the stench of codrruption (had to be done, sorry) my time spent visiting them were all bobbing and weaving affairs. She, Maud, always pats me down at the gate (doesn't need to) in a half hearted, calm way when we meet down there now. Like I'm some kind of a retired, reformed football aggy geezer (shit!) I think she misses the Tuesday night tickles and gets off on it. I don't, that's a fact. Yuk.
Shit. Gotta go. My sis has messaged me. She's asking how can I call out Mister H not being a hunkster when she's just read my strictly private message back to my niece.:
"Please, please don't tell anyone, especially your mum or my misses (she'd be very disappointed to learn that it's not Idris Elba) that my ideal hunk would be the physicist Brian Cox." .......(Brushwood scene).......What? He's got terrific teeth!
There's my essay. Never written one before. See, another step on the recovery from the, I didn't attend school much, only for the Christmas dinner, attitude. Thanks again.
Brilliant and brilliantly off-the-wall, even if there are many bricks in that wall shamefully familiar to me
There is a fine canon of underworld writing, but not much in the working class English tradition, especially not in the first person. I think you have a whole world to climb into and inhabit. Colorful but vaguely frightening. Keep the punters on the edge of their comfortable beds etc. Crime, drugs, sex, a few post-squaddie memories, heart of gold of course, but still a convincing unspoken edge.
We may have to start up a Memoir of the Month Club at this rate....
What a great story, there's enough material there for a whole album. And it makes my life seem so tame in comparison, although secretly I'm quite glad about that. Dull respectability feels easier somehow, being a drug addict just seems like so much hard work I don't really have the stomach for it.
When I was drinking heavily in my twenties I had a dream that I was in the pub drinking with the devil, and he kept saying to me "time will tell", the inference being that I would become an alcoholic. Well, the trouble is, I just didn't have the stamina for alcoholism, could not face feeling that crappy every day. It actually takes a kind of dogged determination that I completely lack.
But then again, I don't have any stories that are half as good as that one. I'm being quite serious when I say there is some great material you can draw on there: write some songs, or even better write a book.
Excellent, @Bluepunk A right riveting read and a great example of your wordsmitthery. Words, (however) don't come easy to me...so I admire your talent!
Fuck, this one is really good !!!!
Congrats !!!!
Ironic. My blood sister did one of those family tree searches and discovered that many of our ancestors were smugglers who worked along the South coast. I was praying that Gaudi would be mentioned somewhere down the line. That would've explained my past penchant for shrooms of the magic type. After witnessing it's beautiful madness recently, how else did he come up with the idea of The Sagrada Familia? Still think it's a Disney animation. I digress.
You made the right decisions Richard. Mind, the booze n drugs were the easy bits to jettison compared to the immovable memories of Maud's sexual perversions. Now that does deserve a book or a complete overhaul and rewrite of the Karma Sutra...for weirdos.
To finish this story Johnny, old habits die hard. Not the substance abuse, I mean the crack ( don't like how it's correctly spelt). Yes, guilty. On my last visit (the time the song is referring to) I did exit dock stage left with some, let's say, souvenirs. Maudy has filled out over the years (too many paid for by the firm holidays no doubt) and can't bend down to frisk below the knee. Even if she could, she'd concentrate her search to my groin area. They were tucked down my City socks love......unlucky.
So cheers darling Maud. This Goldenn Virginaaa baccy (must use the same Burnage printers) does possess a certain oriental, almost Chinese aroma. Now, what the fuck am I gunna do with this container full of fake Utd shirts that's been sat in my garden for decades........ want one? HaHa
....OK, 18th century smuggler punk anthem with Maud frigging in the rigging please.
Thank you kindly. Appreciate that. Can we expect another vid to accompany your December entry? Looking forward to the Santa shorts and balaclava with reindeer antlers superglued on top.
Thank you but I can't all take the credit. I borrowed all the big long words from Mr Goodyear. Took me 12 months to get @Jocphone to allow us to witness his stunning, unique voice in song mode on here (another thread but It's a start) and I'm hoping we can hear your musical masterpieces with included vocals soon as well.
Cheers again.
Mr @JohnnyGoodyear if you find an entry in your notes for this fellow, would you be so kind as to add an appropriate sentence decorated with the words 'Git', 'Cajoling', 'Bastard', 'Thoughtful' and 'Thank you' when you have a moment?
@Bluepunk I'm still not sure for december entry...I'm working on a track, but not very happy with it. I'm also simplifying my setup...Been quite busy lately I must say...Hopefully, soon
Hello again, have missed being part of things. Finally got time to put something out. Happy with the vocal this time. You can hear my youngest in the middle eight complaining that he can't hear what I'm listening to. He snuck up on my whilst i was recording in the bedroom. Left it in cos it made me smile. Comments gratefully received as always. Cheers. P
@raindro Animal pics (stills) fill me with unease. Even my own dogs. It's the eyes. We had a duck pic on here in the summer. Kinda wishing Mssmzz was around back then to sort the nutter quacker right out. Nightmares. Is Mssmzz a cat? Your cat, the one in the pic? Hiya mate.
The music matches what I feel. Pressed go and played a game of "Stare" with him/her. Got as far as the Slangus comment and pulled out. I wish the big tabby I can hear over the back would....pull out. Dreadful racket on a Sunday. You say you were sleeping when you created this tune. Fabulous quality. Will we hear an awake you as well? You're a talented soul indeed. I hooked onto the bass for a rhythm section and after a few spins, it does sink in and I found myself tapping. Maybe some breaks and or vocals could add some air and noticeable dynamic changes but I talk crap so don't listen. Oh yeah, if you do decide to record some vox, don't try to record when bouncing on the trampoline. I know. In fact, if you want any advice on non-studio recorded vocals, please chat with @trackedout. He wrote the book, the bible on it.
@JeffChasteen Great back story and put me right there, in the crowd, feeling it. I noticed you didn't name The bass player. One of my many musical heroes was Graham Simpson. Obscure maybe but boy did he have soul. Gone now. Drifted away quietly. A very interesting back story to him as well. To me anyway.
First run had me reaching for the up button on the drums but I was wrong. During the next few listens I got it. Because of your majestic musical playing above those tubs, it gave the drums a subdued, back of stage effect which I really liked. Very clever. Nice job. Powerful depth to it all. Relentless pounding on my "man this is good" sensors. When I got to the less intense part at 2.30, I realised just how heavy the main part is. What are you playing/using to create that distortion that sits above it all please? Enjoyed this Jeff. Very much.
Cos he didn't get a mention, thought I'd take the liberty of posting a pic of him. See and feel the pain. God bless you mate.
" He used his band royalties to travel the world learning about different cultures and religions....." Not a bad way to do it...
Yes, a free spirit. Got locked up on one of those jaunts to disappear as well. I can't link YouTube but at the bottom of that wiki page under References, number 2 and go to the bottom of that Bryan Ferry page, there's a 5 minute film of him being interviewed. When asked why he left Roxy Music he replied "I didn't exactly leave I was just too stoned to know what the fuck was going on." Classic.
In honor (or at least nudged by) Mister Dylan's recent literary award. Words in the spoiler. No prizes whatsoever for figuring out how many song references they contain
There are no bells for the poet
down in the hurricane
no visions of Johanna
she will never be the same
he's given up on old New York
on the tambourine man too
with one more cup of coffee
you'll feel the same way too
It’s 3 o’clock in the morning
the only sound you hear
is the manager of night now
he's crying out in fear
he finds himself in darkness
in the there that is not here
he thought he’d own the future
but the cost became too clear
There are no bells for the poet
that ring in Mozambique
sixty years of writing
all gone in a three day week
Mister Dylan is the poster child
of all that's said and done
be sure that when you're long since dead
the lady will be laying on (and on and on...)...
On Positively 4th Street
way down Watchtower Lane
we're talking of our differences
yet still sound just the same
all tangled up in color
blown on an idiot wind
we're forever young yet aging
all masters of our sin
Saying it aint me babe
as the times keep changing here
it's nothing like alright Ma
we're getting thinner by the year
we think that we'll be released
with God here on our side
but these boots of Spanish leather
leave us no place left to hide when
There are no bells for the poet
There are no bells for the poet
There are no bells for the poet
There are no bells for the poet
@crouchie Missed you too. What "hit the soul" lyrics you have here sir. All of them bludgeoned me like a sledgehammer would.....hard. I love to feel any crumb of emotion in music. You've baked up a brioche, cob loaf baguette and left me breathless. Herculean my friend. Lived those few minutes. I would need to write another essay this month to write down all highlights on the vocal delivery front but top of the pops to me is how you finish "breathe" at 1.25. And the rasp at 3.15. Full of character and wee intricacies that I'm noting down to pilfer. The best I've heard you sing.
The bass drum rhythm is brilliant. The 3 in a row bass drum thumps at the end of each line is addictive and I fell into it head first. The little flicks in between as well Cozy P.
Made me smile with happiness also and good to see the young ones are throwing a couple of lyric lines into the pot as well.
"As you do unto others, so they will make you bleed." Powerful and the blood transfusion is booked for tomorrow in preparation. I'm fucked.
Unless you top this next month, easily your song of the year for me. Memorable song. I felt like you were singing it directly to me. That's what it's all about.....isn't it? Deserves to be heard by the mainstream this does Crouchie. 
Proper lovely comment Mr BP, have printed off and stuck on my wall already! Really v kind and am mightily glad u liked it. For once I was actually q happy with the voice, probably why it's noticeably louder in the mix. Am looking forward to a reviewing session and I already hear great things about your tune :-). It good to be back on sotmc again
P
@JohnnyGoodyear Well that's your "group" issue sorted in a couple of minutes flat! In terms of your singing, No bells propelled me back to a track you sang on with Mr Fletcher last year. That was the first time I heard your unique country/cockney/punky twang. Is this a style that you gravitate towards naturally? You sound so comfortable singing a similar vocal style in this song. Seems to bring the best out in your vocal chords IMSO. Nothing forced or bullied, more unprocessed, wholesome and again that word natural.
Tidy drums (yum intro) that stay honest with cute flicks in all the (right?) places..... and a crash cymbal out. Go tiger. One thing I'm yet to find out. Is this you on the guitar (on all your work). If the answer is no, please just answer me yes. I have this picture you see of you sitting on a moss bank in front of an crowd performing at an unplugged festival in Norwich.
Sorry, I know very little about Bob Dylan or his music. Yes, I know, strike me down and burn my bondage trousers but never got into him. So I can't take on your teasing question. Didn't stop me from reading/listening to every single word and whether it is related to him or not,
"He finds himself in darkness, in the there that is not here" and "We're forever young yet aging" are thought provoking and real..... Natural. Charming and very well sung, played and produced. Thoroughly enjoyed this and I would like to hear you in this mode again.
Wow. Thanks, Mr Punk; I'm really glad that you enjoyed it!
Simpson was a fantastic player. Roxy always had great bassplayers...Simpson, Kenton, Gustafson, Maida...hell, even progboy J. Wetton acquitted himself well during his tenure.
The distortion? That's my trusty 70s Epiphone running into Tonestack's Muff and Fuzz Face emulations. I also used a touch of Squashit on the guitar, bass, sax, and synth tracks.
Everything else is Sampletank, Thumbjam, Viking, Rock Drum Machine recorded into Tonestack's IAP recorder. I like the limitations imposed by 8 tracks (otherwise, I would never finish anything) and use it for 90% of my recordings.
Once again, thank you so much for your kind words.