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//// Depression- I hate this.\\\\

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Comments

  • wimwim
    edited October 2023

    A very small amount of weed (drops actually) help me through periods of poor sleep where I start waking up anxious in the middle of the night. I've never been able to get to the bottom of why that happens so THC/CBD is the easy way out.

    It seems to lift my mood a little as well and ease neck/back pain while sleeping. I have to take it early enough in the evening so that it wears off over night though or I'm just a moron in the morning. That's why I never stuck with weed. "Normal" use just makes me sleepy, and I'm dumb as a rock all the next day. 😂

  • @wim said:
    A very small amount of weed (drops actually) help me through periods of poor sleep where I start waking up anxious in the middle of the night. I've never been able to get to the bottom of why that happens so THC/CBD is the easy way out.

    It seems to lift my mood a little as well and ease neck/back pain while sleeping. I have to take it early enough in the evening so that it wears off over night though or I'm just a moron in the morning. That's why I never stuck with weed. "Normal" use just makes me sleepy, and I'm dumb as a rock all the next day. 😂

    Yeah, that’s what I do making sure I have it 12 hours before I am going to wake up. I think most of my irritability was just related to poor or lack of sleep. I stopped drinking too which seemed to help.

  • @Fingolfinzz said:
    Yeah that’s a good point, it’s definitely not a black or white issue and always a process. I feel like I really lucked out with my doctor getting me on the right thing on the first try cos I have had those moments where they couldn’t get it right and it was not a fun experience. That probably aided in my aversion to it for so long cos they had me on like five different things at one point and I felt like a total zombie from it, it was definitely not fun. My dad has gone through a lot with mental illness as well so that’s always been hard to watch cos in the 90s it seemed like they were experimenting and throwing shit at the wall until something sticks. Medical marijuana has definitely been beneficial for me as well even before medication but it definitely got to the point where it wasn’t enough. It really was almost enough though, I still need it a lot to help me see things more objectively if I get stuck in my head about something and helps me get to sleep as well

    Yeah the 90s was still the Wild West when it came to mental illnesses lol. That’s when I was on Ritalin and it zombified me as well.

    Medical weed has been the most beneficial so far. Adderal wasn’t horrible but the side effects got to me. Loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, etc.

    Glad you’re doing well! Hope you continue to :)

  • I hear nowadays one can get swabbed as a way for the psychiatrist to better understand your chemical needs? Anybody know anything about this? Sorry if it’s already been asked. I’ve been lurking this thread since its inception, but not entirely.

    I’ve felt/known something’s always been off with me since adolescence, but I’ve functioned good enough later in life, barely held it together at first. I saw someone. I was on Wellbutrin, but my heart started palpitating, but the real reason I quit altogether therapy and the meds was because my doctor laughed at me after telling her something. Anyway fast forward and I’m 48 with my own family, who I love and I know I’m loved, but I hate when I sometimes feel that taking care of myself, my son, my wife, or getting together with other family and friends feels like a chore or burdensome. I know there’s people out there who would kill to have what I have, minus the debt 😂.

    But seriously, I’m aware of and practice certain things, albeit poorly, like mediation, healthy eating, and exercise, helping others, but I’m certain it’s chemical too. How can you explain the dreams I have where I cry or sob? They are worst than nightmares. So, that why I ask about the swab thing, if anyone has any experiences with this.

    And to the O.P. and many others suffering, we’re not alone, even though we sometimes wish to be. Which reminds me, I’m also an introvert, but I feel in tune with my self enough to recognize whenever I simply need to be alone, or when I am intentionally isolating myself from connecting to others and living life.

  • @Blipsford_Baubie said:
    I hear nowadays one can get swabbed as a way for the psychiatrist to better understand your chemical needs? Anybody know anything about this? Sorry if it’s already been asked. I’ve been lurking this thread since its inception, but not entirely.

    I’ve felt/known something’s always been off with me since adolescence, but I’ve functioned good enough later in life, barely held it together at first. I saw someone. I was on Wellbutrin, but my heart started palpitating, but the real reason I quit altogether therapy and the meds was because my doctor laughed at me after telling her something. Anyway fast forward and I’m 48 with my own family, who I love and I know I’m loved, but I hate when I sometimes feel that taking care of myself, my son, my wife, or getting together with other family and friends feels like a chore or burdensome. I know there’s people out there who would kill to have what I have, minus the debt 😂.

    But seriously, I’m aware of and practice certain things, albeit poorly, like mediation, healthy eating, and exercise, helping others, but I’m certain it’s chemical too. How can you explain the dreams I have where I cry or sob? They are worst than nightmares. So, that why I ask about the swab thing, if anyone has any experiences with this.

    And to the O.P. and many others suffering, we’re not alone, even though we sometimes wish to be. Which reminds me, I’m also an introvert, but I feel in tune with my self enough to recognize whenever I simply need to be alone, or when I am intentionally isolating myself from connecting to others and living life.

    Hmm I haven’t heard of anyone doing that either. Interested to read if anyone chimes in.

  • edited October 2023

    I believe psychiatry is still at an “infant” stage. Going back to my mother’s case, she’s now diagnosed with personality disorder, along depression, anxiety, etc. “Personality disorder”, “depression”, they’re such broad and vague terms, they provide no context about the root of the problem and thus how to address it.
    It’d be as is the doctor’s diagnosis was “stomach pain” and you looked no further. Just take some pills to ease the symptoms. Of course you need medication for depression, anxiety… But you need to address and analyze the root and cause of the problem. This is hardly the case with mental health issues.
    My mom has been in bed for about 15 years. Not leaving to buy bread or walk to the pharmacy, she’s “too depressed for that”, for anything… This has derived in bad physical deterioration.
    So we can agree that’s not a “reactive” depression. Depression is the end result, the symptoms… but the root can be a breakup, a tragedy or purely a chemical unbalance. It is vital to look further, and it seems like it’s up to the patient. When in many cases the patient doesn’t have the tools or mindset to address this crippling condition.
    Mental health is the leading cause of labor absence, and the numbers are scary. Seems like we’re making small advances, but we’re still far from treating it with the importance and resources it needs. The fact that we’re discussing this in an iPad-music forum is certainly indicative that we’re getting past the “shame” factor, and that’s a great start. Again, all my respect and support to everyone opening up and talking about their mental health 🙌, you’re the best.

  • edited October 2023

    Yes. I needed a little nudge to get some of my own head size down…

  • You have probably heard of SAD (seasonal affective disorder).   I've never felt I had it that bad before but this year the dark days have gotten to me more it seems.

    A while ago I read somewhere but don't recall where - maybe it's totally bogus - the suggestion that it helps to stare at the sun >with your eyes closed of course<  for several minutes.  So your just seeing the light through your closed eyes.

    I started to experiment with this recently and maybe it's just a placebo but I felt a different kind of positive feeling afterwards that seemed to last for a while.

    So as long as this thread just popped up again, I thought I’d share. It's easy enough to try it out so see what you think.

  • @Stochastically said:
    You have probably heard of SAD (seasonal affective disorder).   I've never felt I had it that bad before but this year the dark days have gotten to me more it seems.

    A while ago I read somewhere but don't recall where - maybe it's totally bogus - the suggestion that it helps to stare at the sun >with your eyes closed of course<  for several minutes.  So your just seeing the light through your closed eyes.

    I started to experiment with this recently and maybe it's just a placebo but I felt a different kind of positive feeling afterwards that seemed to last for a while.

    So as long as this thread just popped up again, I thought I’d share. It's easy enough to try it out so see what you think.

    My wife had a specialized lamp for that when we lived somewhere with very long, dark, winters. She was supposed to sit under it for limited amounts of time each day. I don't know if it really helped or not (she suffers from other causes of depression too so it was hard to tell). But, I just thought I'd mention it.

  • @wim said:

    @Stochastically said:
    You have probably heard of SAD (seasonal affective disorder).   I've never felt I had it that bad before but this year the dark days have gotten to me more it seems.

    A while ago I read somewhere but don't recall where - maybe it's totally bogus - the suggestion that it helps to stare at the sun >with your eyes closed of course<  for several minutes.  So your just seeing the light through your closed eyes.

    I started to experiment with this recently and maybe it's just a placebo but I felt a different kind of positive feeling afterwards that seemed to last for a while.

    So as long as this thread just popped up again, I thought I’d share. It's easy enough to try it out so see what you think.

    My wife had a specialized lamp for that when we lived somewhere with very long, dark, winters. She was supposed to sit under it for limited amounts of time each day. I don't know if it really helped or not (she suffers from other causes of depression too so it was hard to tell). But, I just thought I'd mention it.

    I’ve been thinking of getting one this year as well, I think the long wet summer has left me even more bereft of vitamin d and other sources of dispelling the gloom…

  • edited December 2023

    It definitely helps! I have a lamp that I drag out each fall. It’s legit, getting sunlight would help too, just don’t stare at the sun.

  • Many musicians and artistic people often tend to have more depression or mental health disorders than others. Maybe it's because we are more sensitive or emotional. Anyway, to help combat some forms of depression, it takes a lot of work; sleep, diet, exercise, and getting up early to find some natural sun (even when cloudy).. I am also experimenting with natural herbs like St. John's Wort. Good luck and we are all here to help. You are not alone.

  • @Antos3345 said:
    Many musicians and artistic people often tend to have more depression or mental health disorders than others. Maybe it's because we are more sensitive or emotional. Anyway, to help combat some forms of depression, it takes a lot of work; sleep, diet, exercise, and getting up early to find some natural sun (even when cloudy).. I am also experimenting with natural herbs like St. John's Wort. Good luck and we are all here to help. You are not alone.

    One of the bad things about working night shift is it makes all of that twice as hard and sometimes impossible (natural sun, exercise due to gyms being closed, etc). Of course there are other ways and workarounds but I wonder if depression is worse or more likely with people working night shift. I do know I felt slightly better overall when I still worked day shift.

  • edited December 2023

    @HotStrange said:

    @Antos3345 said:
    Many musicians and artistic people often tend to have more depression or mental health disorders than others. Maybe it's because we are more sensitive or emotional. Anyway, to help combat some forms of depression, it takes a lot of work; sleep, diet, exercise, and getting up early to find some natural sun (even when cloudy).. I am also experimenting with natural herbs like St. John's Wort. Good luck and we are all here to help. You are not alone.

    One of the bad things about working night shift is it makes all of that twice as hard and sometimes impossible (natural sun, exercise due to gyms being closed, etc). Of course there are other ways and workarounds but I wonder if depression is worse or more likely with people working night shift. I do know I felt slightly better overall when I still worked day shift.

    I would honestly say that working a night shift is not good for people prone to depression. People need some light in their daily cycle and sleep issues can mess with and disturb the brain chemistry, dopamine levels, and hormones such as melatonin production, and more. I hope you can find a job where you can sleep at night and work during the day. There is always a way! I forgot to mention that I also avoid alcohol by all means! What goes up must come down and that goes with mood too:)

  • @Antos3345 said:
    ... I forgot to mention that I also avoid alcohol by all means! What goes up must come down and that goes with mood too:)

    I actually measured and tracked the affect of alcohol on my sleep patterns over a period of time using an iPhone app that does a surprisingly good job at tracking sleep level using the sound of your breathing.

    Alcohol helped me to fall asleep but overall was detrimental because when it wore off halfway through the night, I would fall out of REM sleep rhythm and never return to it. The rest of the night would be erratic and more than cancel out the effect of falling asleep faster. This in addition to the detrimental effects of the alcohol.

    By far the most positive measured results were when I was consistent about sleep and wakeup time. No self medication comes close to that as a beneficial effect.

  • edited December 2023

    I want to add to maybe check out Wim Hof on Youtube. I have been doing cold showers for a while now and it's helped me a lot in many ways. I just feel better with more energy in the day. Maybe it's a placebo, but I haven't been having the winter blues much this year, also not been sick so far (knock on wood:) and have far fewer headaches.

  • edited December 2023

    @HotStrange said:

    @Blipsford_Baubie said:
    I hear nowadays one can get swabbed as a way for the psychiatrist to better understand your chemical needs? Anybody know anything about this? Sorry if it’s already been asked. I’ve been lurking this thread since its inception, but not entirely.

    I’ve felt/known something’s always been off with me since adolescence, but I’ve functioned good enough later in life, barely held it together at first. I saw someone. I was on Wellbutrin, but my heart started palpitating, but the real reason I quit altogether therapy and the meds was because my doctor laughed at me after telling her something. Anyway fast forward and I’m 48 with my own family, who I love and I know I’m loved, but I hate when I sometimes feel that taking care of myself, my son, my wife, or getting together with other family and friends feels like a chore or burdensome. I know there’s people out there who would kill to have what I have, minus the debt 😂.

    But seriously, I’m aware of and practice certain things, albeit poorly, like mediation, healthy eating, and exercise, helping others, but I’m certain it’s chemical too. How can you explain the dreams I have where I cry or sob? They are worst than nightmares. So, that why I ask about the swab thing, if anyone has any experiences with this.

    And to the O.P. and many others suffering, we’re not alone, even though we sometimes wish to be. Which reminds me, I’m also an introvert, but I feel in tune with my self enough to recognize whenever I simply need to be alone, or when I am intentionally isolating myself from connecting to others and living life.

    Hmm I haven’t heard of anyone doing that either. Interested to read if anyone chimes in.

    It is now somewhat common for DNA analysis to be used to help determine which medications are more or less likely to be effective for an individual when there are drugs that work be very different mechanisms. I know a few people whose doctors ordered these profiles because they were having difficulty finding effective treatment for depression, anxiety or ADHD.

  • @Antos3345 said:
    I want to add to maybe check out Wim Hof on Youtube. I have been doing cold showers for a while now and it's helped me a lot in many ways. I just feel better with more energy in the day. Maybe it's a placebo, but I haven't been having the winter blues much this year, also not been sick so far (knock on wood:) and have far fewer headaches.

    Wim Hof is legit. I find it very good for focus and decreasing stress.

    I use topical magnesium daily too which has a noticeable effect on sleep quality.

  • @HotStrange said:

    @Antos3345 said:
    Many musicians and artistic people often tend to have more depression or mental health disorders than others. Maybe it's because we are more sensitive or emotional. Anyway, to help combat some forms of depression, it takes a lot of work; sleep, diet, exercise, and getting up early to find some natural sun (even when cloudy).. I am also experimenting with natural herbs like St. John's Wort. Good luck and we are all here to help. You are not alone.

    One of the bad things about working night shift is it makes all of that twice as hard and sometimes impossible (natural sun, exercise due to gyms being closed, etc). Of course there are other ways and workarounds but I wonder if depression is worse or more likely with people working night shift. I do know I felt slightly better overall when I still worked day shift.

    Night Shift is well researched as having a correlation with poorer health. It's not something I've read about in a while but there have been plenty of studies. I think it is always important to remember that these studies really only show corelation, and the most important thing to think about from your own point of view is, 'what do I need to do to be one of the outliers whose health is not adversely affected by working nights. That likely involves things related to diet, lifestyle, sun exposure, socialising, maybe certain supplements, etc. Or, maybe you should genuinely consider getting a day job if you try to make smaller changes and still feel subpar. Depending on your hours though, you likely should be able to get at least some more sun exposure. Also, c'mon, having no gym access doesn't mean there aren't tons of other ways to get exercise!

  • @Antos3345 said:

    @HotStrange said:

    @Antos3345 said:
    Many musicians and artistic people often tend to have more depression or mental health disorders than others. Maybe it's because we are more sensitive or emotional. Anyway, to help combat some forms of depression, it takes a lot of work; sleep, diet, exercise, and getting up early to find some natural sun (even when cloudy).. I am also experimenting with natural herbs like St. John's Wort. Good luck and we are all here to help. You are not alone.

    One of the bad things about working night shift is it makes all of that twice as hard and sometimes impossible (natural sun, exercise due to gyms being closed, etc). Of course there are other ways and workarounds but I wonder if depression is worse or more likely with people working night shift. I do know I felt slightly better overall when I still worked day shift.

    I would honestly say that working a night shift is not good for people prone to depression. People need some light in their daily cycle and sleep issues can mess with and disturb the brain chemistry, dopamine levels, and hormones such as melatonin production, and more. I hope you can find a job where you can sleep at night and work during the day. There is always a way! I forgot to mention that I also avoid alcohol by all means! What goes up must come down and that goes with mood too:)

    I’d agree with this. My wife also works night shift and we’re on the same schedule (and share a car) so we’d both have to find similar jobs with similar schedules to make that work unfortunately. I’m saving up for a new car currently, so hopefully all that will happen in due time.

  • edited December 2023

    @Gavinski said:

    @HotStrange said:

    @Antos3345 said:
    Many musicians and artistic people often tend to have more depression or mental health disorders than others. Maybe it's because we are more sensitive or emotional. Anyway, to help combat some forms of depression, it takes a lot of work; sleep, diet, exercise, and getting up early to find some natural sun (even when cloudy).. I am also experimenting with natural herbs like St. John's Wort. Good luck and we are all here to help. You are not alone.

    One of the bad things about working night shift is it makes all of that twice as hard and sometimes impossible (natural sun, exercise due to gyms being closed, etc). Of course there are other ways and workarounds but I wonder if depression is worse or more likely with people working night shift. I do know I felt slightly better overall when I still worked day shift.

    Night Shift is well researched as having a correlation with poorer health. It's not something I've read about in a while but there have been plenty of studies. I think it is always important to remember that these studies really only show corelation, and the most important thing to think about from your own point of view is, 'what do I need to do to be one of the outliers whose health is not adversely affected by working nights. That likely involves things related to diet, lifestyle, sun exposure, socialising, maybe certain supplements, etc. Or, maybe you should genuinely consider getting a day job if you try to make smaller changes and still feel subpar. Depending on your hours though, you likely should be able to get at least some more sun exposure. Also, c'mon, having no gym access doesn't mean there aren't tons of other ways to get exercise!

    Well that’s why I said there are other ways in my original comment lol I still do get sun exposure though! Didn’t mean to make to seem as if I didn’t. Was just pointing out that the above mentioned practices don’t easily apply universally.

    Day shift job isn’t in the cards right now but some day I’m sure I’ll move into a day job. It’s not gonna be anytime in the next few months or year though.

  • My main point is to fight depression, it takes a lot of work. Taking a pill won't do it all. For some it works, for some it doesn't.
    The hardest part is to initiate the process. You can do it!

  • Happy Xmas @onerez, I hope you’re doing well and that 2024 will bring all the good things in life.

  • @Antos3345 said:
    My main point is to fight depression, it takes a lot of work. Taking a pill won't do it all. For some it works, for some it doesn't.
    The hardest part is to initiate the process. You can do it!

    10000%. Well said.

  • Depression runs in my family - my father, sister, daughter, some of my cousins, me. Dad told me it came from his mothers side of the family. Ironically her maiden name was Downer.

    My problems didn’t surface till I was in my 50s. Looking back there was a correlation to periods of high stress in my life and that was a trigger for Dad too. People tell you not to worry which is impossible for me but making that connection was very helpful. At least I had some idea of what was causing me to feel so shitty and was able to avoid stressful situations when possible. E.g at work I would decline projects I thought were going to push me over the edge and fortunately I had a boss who understood what I was dealing with.

    I tried CBD oil briefly and it didn’t seem to help. What did help was journaling my thoughts - how I felt, what I felt good about, what was not so good. I made me think about cause and effect and over time you recognize patterns that you should avoid or reinforce.

    I also take lots of vitamin D and a magnesium supplement called “Natural Calm” twice a day. I read someplace that a high percentage of North Americans are deficient in magnesium and it is critical to normal brain chemistry. It’s not a magic cure but it’s one of many little things that help. And it helped with my chronic constipation problems too ☺️

  • I think it is important for people who are able to deal with depression without medication to NOT suggest that this course should work for others. Feel fortunate that it works for you. It doesn’t work for everyone.

    There are a lot of people that struggle with depression for whom non-medical intervention does not work… and they may feel reluctant to turn to medical intervention that could be life-saving because they get the message that they should be able to overcome come it by other means.

    Unfortunately, medication doesn’t always work and for some it takes a while to find something that works.

    A friend’s doctor put it well: “clinical depression is a life-threatening illness. If you had diabetes , you would not be reluctant to treat it medically. Your depression is a medical condition, it isn’t a failure of will even though it can feel like it. It is not your fault. Let’s figure out how to help you feel better.”

    Unfortunately, there is a lot of inertia in our culture that has resulted in a lot of people still thinking of depression as primarily psychological rather than something physical.

  • @espiegel123 said:
    I think it is important for people who are able to deal with depression without medication to NOT suggest that this course should work for others. Feel fortunate that it works for you. It doesn’t work for everyone.

    There are a lot of people that struggle with depression for whom non-medical intervention does not work… and they may feel reluctant to turn to medical intervention that could be life-saving because they get the message that they should be able to overcome come it by other means.

    Unfortunately, medication doesn’t always work and for some it takes a while to find something that works.

    A friend’s doctor put it well: “clinical depression is a life-threatening illness. If you had diabetes , you would not be reluctant to treat it medically. Your depression is a medical condition, it isn’t a failure of will even though it can feel like it. It is not your fault. Let’s figure out how to help you feel better.”

    Unfortunately, there is a lot of inertia in our culture that has resulted in a lot of people still thinking of depression as primarily psychological rather than something physical.

    Yes I was talking with someone recently and for all its faults, one good thing social media has done is to help de-stigmatize mental illness and disorders. People are way more comfortable sharing things now and as such it also helps with our understanding how the disease and how it affects everyone.

    The whole process of finding a medication that works - or doesn’t - is so painful and frustrating. And sometimes (often) it’s not even just depression. Anxiety and other disorders can attach to it and just make everything worse. My depression stems from my Neurodivergent brain and my anxiety and they all feed each other which can make it hard to find the right “cure”. Especially for things like OCD which doesn’t really have a cure at all.

  • @espiegel123 said:
    I think it is important for people who are able to deal with depression without medication to NOT suggest that this course should work for others. Feel fortunate that it works for you. It doesn’t work for everyone.

    Medication should be a last resort. Without proper diagnosis it’s just trial and error which is often more harmful.

    I’ve done more with my hands for people than any prescription drug has.

  • @BroCoast said:

    @espiegel123 said:
    I think it is important for people who are able to deal with depression without medication to NOT suggest that this course should work for others. Feel fortunate that it works for you. It doesn’t work for everyone.

    Medication should be a last resort. Without proper diagnosis it’s just trial and error which is often more harmful.

    I’ve done more with my hands for people than any prescription drug has.

    Who said anything about not getting a proper diagnosis.

    Saying that it should only be a "last resort" is, in my opinion, a not very helpful way of seeing it. Depression is a life-threatening illness and many wait too long to get treatment or try to tough it out.

    Yes, people should get a proper diagnosis. Telling people that they should only accept medication as a last resort is not good medical advice.

    I never said or implied that medication works for everyone. But telling people to trying everything else first is going to lead some people that need treatment to not seek or accept it.

  • I don't think it's wise to call medication a last resort. That tends to stigmatize it.

    I've known people that absolutely require medication end up being hospitalized more than once due to going off meds because of a deeply ingrained feeling of inferiority over needing it. One person I've been close to is in a never-ending cycle of institutional hospitalization every year or two. Staying on her meds could prevent this. Sure, she needs other help as well, but the meds are absolutely essential.

    I do think it's essential to understand medication as one of the potential tools, alongside therapy, for managing depression where warranted. I do get frustrated that my wife's psychologists over the years have become simply medication managers rather than pushing her to deal with the problem as a whole.

    But I also know that in the beginning she was incapable of making any progress through therapy until medication got her to the point that she could respond to it. I don't like to think where she'd be today if medication was stigmatized as only a "last resort" at that time.

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