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Comments
@LostBoy85 Well produced for your first track for sure.
Very well done there lost boy, your vocals style was just right for the lyrics and the lyrics hit the spot for the story your telling. Good stuff, what's next?
@LostBoy85 that's an awesome vocal performance, I didn't think the song was cheesy at all, just good. Great melody and energy, I could imagine it would be even better with a real band behind it. Thanks for posting it!
Good job for first track @LostBoy85. It is a good song and the vocals work well but for me what kills it is lack of dynamics. It feels like all of the instruments are played at one precise volume which in fact would not be possible unless they were played by robots.
One very (if not the most) important part of music is conveying emotions. As we know though emotions come in different colours and at different volumes. Angry is loud and sad is quiet but of course most of the time they're all mixed up and that's where we artists come in.
This is only my opinion but it also comes from a lot of songwriting, producing and life experience. I'm trying not to sound grand. Keep doing what you're doing just think of dynamics as something that will make people connect with your music.
Thanks a lot guys:)
@supadom,I appreciate your advice mate.thanks for commenting.
Ok, I'll post. All done in GarageBand iOS, this is a demo intended for summer recording sessions with the band, where it will change I'm sure. It will also gain lyrics instead of gibberish, and be sung by a vocalist. But hey, if Burt Bacharach can sing in public, so can I! Vox done while driving into NYC on rt. 3 and 495 into the iPhone. Timing is a little shaky when driving! But I won't turn into Steve perry (or whoever you consider great) with a mic or another session, so here it is:
@mrufino1 It's obviously WIP so it's hard to judge at this point, especially with the placeholder vocals.
There's lots of interesting dynamics and changes which is cool, but without the lyrics it's really hard to know what those ups and downs are trying to make me feel, once the words are there it will be clearer.
The main melody is a bit too "bouncy" for me (subjective judgement!), the rhythm of it is maybe too obvious or maybe it's the melody itself (possibly riffing on the major triad). But then again if it's a really happy song that might be fitting. Also it would be nice to have more variation in the melody as well - but all these issues will probably be addressed when the band gets going on it.
@mrufino1 well crafted erasure/Damon Albarn mash. Vocals are a bit muffled and would probably do with some compressor/improved mic technique. Also would be nice to hear dropping some of the instruments as seems like they're all playing for most of the time. This would I think cure the attention loss that occurred to me half way through the tune. Mix is quite well balance otherwise and I can see the main melody 'sticking' which is a good thing.
@mrufino Hey man,I really like the melody(verse especially) I love the music style as well.
I look forward to hearing the finished result,very promising mate.
I get that it's a wip but to me it feels like it may need a bit of a bridge? Also just my opinion but the first chorus could probably be halved.i loved the the music leading into the second verse,cool change up.I must admit I'm a sucker for a catchy song even if the current vocal reminds me of drunk people trying to read the karaoke screen when I worked out in Tenerife!:D
@richardydot @supadom
Thanks for the comments. Keep on mind it's a demo done on iPhone GarageBand, with vocals sung into an iPhone while driving! (Yes, that's bad...)
Also, all of the instruments were done on screen in GarageBand, I wasn't near my music gear at the time- that's why I dig GarageBand so much, because you can create something semi-finished without having an instrument around. I'm glad to get some other ears on it though because you'll think of things that I would never think of. Lyrics are not my thing, so it will be interesting to see where my bandmates take this. For me, I have to get my ideas down before I forget them, then stop worrying about it and see where others take it. That's worked well for us in the past and every time I learn to be more open. Nothing on this is set in stone!
We record in July, so we'll see. Last year 4 of my little iPhone ramblings turned into songs.
If lyrics aren't your thing, just do what macca did:
@mrufino1 Yeah. Job One done. You've got a song here. Agree with Richard about the lyrics (but you knew that already) and with Dom as regards 'Also would be nice to hear dropping some of the instruments as seems like they're all playing for most of the time,' but again I imagine all of that balancing act will get taken care of more or less well by The Band, and especially the vocalist, once you go past this sketch into the flesh out stage.
Most honest thing I can say is that this makes me anticipate hearing the final cut. Promising. Oh, and I can also now imagine and hear what people are getting at when they say I mumble too much
You must be looking forward to the getting together with the boys...but these Route Three sessions will stand you in good stead....
I tell ya iPhones voice memo is a god send! I have dozens of memos where I'm just singing like mrufino when I'm out walking the dogs or at work.wherever inspiration strikes.
I'm a window cleaner and so I work alone a lot(yes I've literally whipped the phone out up a ladder!) it's a great tool...the phone...& also the ladder!:)
Also you guys should check out a podcast I've been listening to called 'sodajerker on songwriting'. It's fantastic stuff.each episode is an interview with a renowned songwriter,lots of amazing advice and tips from some absolute legends.
Anything to get the creativity going I guess,which is why I'm really enjoying this forum.
Looks great:
http://www.sodajerker.com/podcast/
Okay, so I would like to take the tunes on this thread(and maybe April's too) and download them all and put them on a playlist (I use Anytune Pro as my player) so I can just have a little Audiobus album. Obviously called "Song of the Month". Because you have all contributed awesome material for a real life Album of real, uncontrolled unsupervised music. One of you here must know the best way to get this done. Any ideas?
I dunno, but someone on the bus today told me that home taping is killing music
@noisehorse (and anyone else), feel free to download our finished material at http://shutterwax.bandcamp.com
Also, a few EP's from a previous incarnation:
http://noisetrade.com/theharveymoon
Johnny you don't take the bus do you mate?? For some reason I had this vision of you driving an old Cadillac or something!:D
@LostBoy85 I'm a man of the people Mister 85, what can I say? I also walk a lot. I know, weird stuff. I like horses (as a method of transportation), often run from place to place, and have been known to talk to women on trains. All good.
My finished entry for this month:
For me this exercise is proving very useful, I can see that in the five months I've been doing this I've really made progress in every area. My songs are better, my lyrics are better, production, mixing, vocals, arrangements - everything has improved.
My playing still needs to tighten up, that's one thing that still needs a lot of work, but it's on my radar.
@richardyot. I agree with you, this is a more finished in toto article than I've heard from you to date, so your plan is working Doctor (evil cackle etc
.
I'm not going to say this is an undiscovered JAMC gem because I know that will only annoy you, but my area of (limited) specialty is probably at the lyric/vocal end of things and you have made palpable strides in this area. I think some of your phrasing still sounds as though you could do with singing the song another 100 times to get every last word down 100 per cent and you have a tendency to take swing up on the last word of some lines and in doing so introduce a more obvious and uncertain quaver into the melody (53 secs: "give me the eeyyyye..." etc), but more than anything my comment this time around on the vocal is I'd like to see its volume punched up another notch, which I think is proof positive that it's getting better....am going to listen on different headphones again later, because I also think that the vocal sounds a little 'furry' (a hair too much bass), but that may just be what I'm listening on....
Final comment for now; it's only May 15th and you're done already
Nice track @richardyot,I'm no guitarist but to a casual listener like me I thought your playing was good! I especially like the musical outro.
Sadly I'm not qualified in any shape or form to give technical advice.
I keep it simple and just go on whether I think it sounds good to me or not,& honestly I liked the vibe.i agree with Johnny that the vocal needs to be louder so we can hear every word. (a compression/eq thing I reckon).the harmony was nice too.
Do u write personal lyrics or do you make up situations? Just curious is all:D
Thanks for the feedback LostBoy85 and JohnnyGoodyear, I might do a new mix tonight then with the vocals higher and some different EQ on them. Listening back I also think the drums need taming, the kick in particular is too thumpy and I think having such a prominent kick on a slow paced song makes the whole thing plod.
The song isn't about any one specific experience, more of an amalgamation of several ones - being given the runaround by a girl when you're 16/17. I was really just trying to capture the feeling of late adolescence, like a coming-of-age movie.
@richardyot -
Indeed the drums with lower volume seems better. Also the rythm guitar seem slightly off beat, if I hear it well. But overall: it really has improvement and vocals are more interesting in melody as previous posts. Everything has improved indeed. Some interesting aspects for me are: the sort of lower guitar melody solo line (at the beginning and elsewhere), it is for me the heart of the song musically, it sets the character of the song in the beginning, well done. And I like the guitar solo near the end, it sets in simple and nice, I like that.The construction of the last section (starts somewhere around 3:21) is very good. (too much volume on the beat, but you know that) Also I like the bassline there.
Just an idea about the rythnm guitar playing: it now has the same sort of play all the way. (at least that is how I experience it). Perhaps it is a good idea to vary somewhere. You now do 2 strikes of the strings within a beat (if I am correct), perhaps a good idea is to do somewhere (within the chorus perhaps) only one strike a beat (also advantage: it is easy
) , perhaps an idea to use no drums in that part. And perhaps slow down the overall tempo in that bit. Just ideas. Makes it perhaps more with variation.
Another idea: (only trying to be constructive ) you sing a bit staccato in my opinion. Your singing now seems more on the beat than your guitar playing is, weirdly enough. The singing: perhaps make it more fluid, fluent (if you know what I mean). More as one speaks. Perhaps easier to say for me than to do for you
Another thought about the rythm guitar: perhaps it is a sync issue in the Daw you use, perhaps if you move the whole rhytm guitar track slightly to the right it will be more in sync. (or move it to the left, I am not sure about it, but my first guess is that it is now structurally before the beat) I have to see the rythm guitar track with some sort of beat grid (or drum track above or below it) to see this better.
@Marcel: thanks very much for the detailed feedback, I really appreciate you taking the time to listen so carefully and give such thoughtful feedback.
My playing has always been loose, and when I listen back to older tracks it's one thing that really jumps out at me, there are timing issues everywhere. It's possible the latency is throwing me, or it's possible my playing just isn't tight enough, or a bit of both. I can re-record the rhythm guitar part for this song fairly easily, and I can also consider your suggestion of varying the playing pattern. Changing the tempo mid-song is probably beyond my abilities technically for now, one tempo is hard enough
And the same goes for the singing, the staccato you are hearing is down to me consciously trying to keep to the beat, if I sang it without doing this the timing would drift.
It's clear that I need to spend a significant amount of my practice time working on rhythm, it's always been a big weakness of mine but I do need to address it, because unless my playing gets tighter I won't be able to clearly get my ideas across in my songs, without technical distractions letting the songs down.
@richardyot @marcel Good interaction here. I think Marcel's feedback was excellent, not that it was all 'right' because what is that anyway? but good things to think about and probably confirming as regards area of further practice etc.
I do think the singing/rhythm/phrasing is an undervalued part of the whole vocal area. Figuring out exactly where syllables should fall, what should be stretched out, where slight pauses should come and so on. This is why I clumsily talk of singing it a hundred times.
Part of the recent @animal post (another thread) highlighted this for me when he talked about being free to just play. I do feel that the immediacy of the red record button gets me trying to record too soon.
In the days of 'pound a track an hour' recording studios, we used to spend a week or two in rehearsal rooms under the railway arches in Brixton playing the one or two songs we intended tor record over and over and over again...and on reflection what was nailed more than anything (for me) was the muscle memory of every phrase...
@JohnnyGoodyear - Hey Johnny, about the movies you posted with your songs - in april this guy standing in the wind, and this month this mostly abstract thing. These are very good and strong images, I can look at this guy standing in the wind for minutes and still be fascinated. I wonder how you make them, did you shoot it yourself, did you 'borrow' them from the internet somewhere. I just bought Pinnacle Studio for iPad, I have hardly any experience with film composing, well not entirely true; I did some picture collages on my Youtube channel , see for instance
- nice piano recording I did by the way. Could/would you tell something (if/when you have time for it) about how you make these kind of abstract and interesting movies?
@Marcel Really very nice piano my friend....
As for your video questions, I do a lot of film-editing, some shooting etc., but I have been collecting clips of movies, odd old adverts, pieces of documentaries etc etc for years and have a huge and confusing collection of them
.
However, if there's a secret for me I think it's Premiere which I am very comfortable using and find to be a creative medium for this sort of task which balances technical tools with ease of use. Just the sort of thing we are always talking about here for the best apps.
Having said that, I think any program that lets you cut accurately and add (as desired) simple entrance/exit options would do the job. The trick is really in choosing the right pieces in combination to add to the 'narrative'.
Be well.
@JohnnyGoodyear - thanks for compliment about the piano playing, and thanks for reply about the video questions. Interesting collection this must be
. A good source to make all kind of stuff.
Well, many of us collect some thing. For me I have maybe 50 gigs of video clips of 5 secs or less. I like to point at the book drive they're on and tell my 12 year old: "Son, one day all of these will be yours...." So far he's distinctly unimpressed