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Comments
I unwrote it.
Ah man,that's too bad.I saw that u had said that u had finished something in Gadget? I wanted to listen but I had a screaming baby demanding that I sing Bonjovi anthems in his ear!:) crazy,I know but that shit seems to work!:D
I think u should reconsider posting it mate.Very friendly folks on here.
My contribution - so far: not shure if this is the final version.
I think good things are: the chord progression and the melodie-line of the solo guitar. But....I have doubts about : the development/structure of the whole song; parts of the lyrics (English is not my native language) and the vocals (different aspects of it: the way I sing and talk-sing; the way I recorded it; the effects and eq; the mix) and I probably have more doubts about other things in the near future......already got one: I probably should edit out the breathings you hear.
Edit June 29: I deleted this first version, don't want it to stay on the web - I made a much better version, it is posted further on, and in the list on page 1
Well, for what it's worth, I did listen to your piece. I'll confess, it challenged my metalhead insensibilities that a song could be constructed so solidly out of will and original sonic thoughts set to a beat. But just as I was starting to feel like nobody in the airport spoke English, I remember the clear, melodic resolution that just managed to sneak in the terminal there at the end. That was a beautiful moment you captured. Do keep at it
@Marcel - great beat Intro to propel listeners headlong into your sparkling production. There were times I was uncertain whether I should be following the spoken words or the singing, for me a bit more separation would have helped, but maybe that sing/speak interplay is precisely what you were aiming for. The instrumental ending gave the whole piece such a nice lift. I love when a song can really breathe in between or following vocal lines. Very nice work!
@richardyot - thank you for your kind feedback, I didn't forget you ... I've just been wrestling with your suggestion about beefing up those spots you mentioned. I wrote a musical bit for it, then said, no, it's fine as is, then said, well I could at least give it a try ...
You would make a very good producer, sir. And, I'd wager, a successful one
Please do! Hell, I'm gonna think of myself thusly from now on!
@Marcel I think there is the seed of a really great idea there, but IMO it still needs work.
I think the song needs a two-bar intro before the vocals come in, it's too sudden at the moment
I really like the background vocals, they give a lovely 60s vibe to the song, and the foreground vocals could work really well but they need some variation I think.
What could work would be some contrast between spoken and sung, for example you could sing the line "all the times we try" onwards (maybe with the same melody as the backing) and that would give the song a huge lift a that point.
The guitar at the end is really wonderful, just like last month I love the melancholy feel it has, it's very expressive in an understated way.
@Marcel, I gave your track a few listens and I definitely love the vibe of the song.your guitar playing is Amaze balls!! (My young brother assures me that means awesome!!) your idea of talking directly over the melody is to me at least very original & the melody of the top line (vocal) is really nice.Im just not sure that you need to talk over the whole song,I would save the talking for a bit later maybe??:) As far as lyrics go I got the general idea of what the song was about,yes some words eluded me but I actually quite like that.it gives me something to think about,however if u weren't talking along with the melody I might struggle to understand each word but that's an eq,compression thing not a language issue.
I did notice a weird kind of pop somewhere between 60-70 seconds.might just be me tho as I've had a baby scream at me all morning.
I really loved the musical outro mate.all in all I thought it was a very pretty little song that with a bit more work could be a real gem in your set list!:)
Ps can I please hire you to play guitar on a future track of mine??:D
@richardyot and @LostBoy85
I really appreciate your constructive words about the song! I am not happy with the song as it is now, and your ideas are a great help to improve it! Many thanks for the feedback, I needed that.
An intro, indeed, that's a good point. More variation in the vocals, for instance the talking not all the time, or make the talking part a singing part somewhere, good ideas! I am going to work with these things. Thanks for taking the time.
Ps to LostBoy85: Was that a serious request? Or words to say that you like the guitar? or both. If it was a request: I like the idea to play some guitar on a future track of you, I am interested. So if you send me something in the future, I am willing to give it try, but I can't promise anything. You certainly can ask me, and send me something, but it is possible I react with: sorry, I have tried to play on it, but I just can't come up with something good. And there is the time managment factor: I have a job and I don't always feel like playing or visiting this forum, so it might take a few days (a week?) before I react. Nevertheless: I like the idea. So feel free to send me something anytime.
@Marcel I dig the tune and the vibe. Reminds me of early Radiohead somehow . Would definitely work on varying the talking part as others suggest. Perhaps gradually work it in from the back of the mix. Great job!
@Marcel Agree with much of what has been said already. Both on the plus and minus side. Radiohead meets Leonard Cohen. No bad thing. Melancholy in spades, which is one of my favorite currencies. The trick (as you know
is to keep the feeling while at the same time increasing the clarity. Look forward to 2.0.
@rkmonkey and @JohnnyGoodyear thanks for comment! Been working on the 2.0. Forgot to mention the title: Goodbye My Love. Almost finished. No time now to finish it. Have made the higher voice the main voice, and only a few times put the talking voice in the mix. There now is a short intro, and I added a no voice part the middle. End section is the same. Been with my head in Auria the last couple of hours, much too long, it is addictive, have to get up early tomorrow...grrr.
@marcel, can't wait to hear it mate! & yes I am def gonna send you something in the future if that's ok? That will be awesome! So how can I contact you man?
@LostBoy85 just have send a personal message to you, see your inbox in your profile.
@marcel Lovely calming vibe to finish the weekend off with before the mania of the week ahead. Nice one. Enjoyed.
I'll post some feedback on everyone else's tracks shortly when I've had a listen through, in the meantime here's my usual strange effort. Rhythm comes from processed and un-processed Elastic Drums, squidgy bass via iFretless, and everything else is from the iM1. I did record a cracking bassline but Auria flipped tracks after I'd set up the one to record on, and it recorded over an existing track instead so I had to go through and undo everything. I didn't have the heart to do it again. Sample grabbed from YouTube and pulled about in Audiostretch....
@monzo my favourite part is the middle bit because it feels quite cinematic, I have to say it's a shame about that bass line as it would be good to have something tying the whole thing together, the start and the ending are a little bit too sparse for me and I'm not sure what the song is trying to convey in those bits. It would make a good soundtrack to an eerie film.
As for the Auria issue, in theory even if you record over a track the old audio will still be there, underneath the new recording. Just cut and paste the new audio onto a new track and the old track will be intact.
Thanks for the feedback! I think my intention was to provide the impression of a storyline, rather than my usual blasts of random noise. I like the middle bit best too - there's quite a lot more I could do with this if I had the time - using the unprocessed rhythms (at the end) more in the rest of the track might help weld it together better.
I tend to start these types of things off by jamming about with a rhythm app, and then chopping it up in Auria and adding other stuff - it's an organic process rather than a planned one so I guess this is reflected in the loose feel.
Ahhhhhhhhhh...........thanks for the tip, wish I'd known this before. That's very, very useful. I'm using the SOTMC as an opportunity to get to know Auria better, and each time I learn something new, this is a really good tip though.
I might put another, more structured track in before the end of the month as I've got something cooking in Gadget - another learning opportunity.
@monzo I had many afternoons on the nod a thousand years ago that sounded and looked just like this. The start is very familiar to me. Funny how noise hits people in different ways. Of course it's cinematic, but I don't need the film because it runs already inside my wordless memory. However mostly buried.
I can see that bass would 'pull it along', but I can also see/feel bottom end being supplied by a wash sound, but those are two different products at day's end I guess.
Look forward to your Gadget piece if you get to it this month, but I like this. We are such a disparate (not to say desperate
crew....
Thanks for the feedback - hope I didn't stir up any bad memories.
Occasionally soundtracks from 'altered states' lodged in my subconscious find their way into my stuff....usually by accident. Other times it's less recognisable and just a noisy mush.
Thanks, I'll try and do a nice toe-tapping dance number for the kids. No melting brains or aliens.
I made a new version:
Goodbye My Love (final version)
I did a lot of work in Auria and I think it is much better now.
Bravo @marcel!! You solved your musical Rubiks Cube! You have made some lovely adjustments! Great intro & I love how u staggered the singing with the talking.Great job mate.The main thing is that you are happy with it:D
@monzo ,Man U have a lot of crazy sounds going on in your piece.You obviously know what you're doing on the sound mangling front:) I'm new to sampling,could u please explain to me how you pulled the voice off of YouTube? Was it as simple as holding your phone up to the computer speaker? Cheers mate.
@Marcel Significant progress. You should be pleased/proud of the development in this.
I have a list of things I intend to do when able to travel back in time and I am adding this song to it. 1966 I think. And I will ask Christa Päffgen to sing this. I think she would do an excellent job.
Thanks for the comments
yep you got it - normally I'll find a way to grab samples digitally, but on this occasion as I wasn't too fussed about the audio quality of the sample (and to save time) I just held the iPad in front of my PC speaker and recorded it into Audioshare. It's also added a bit of atmosphere to it, so I'll probably use this method again.
@Marcel that's so much better now! The spoken part just adds emphasis in the chorus and is really effective, and the melody of the vocals is now front and centre where it should be, whereas before it couldn't really be heard.
And the lead guitar part is still wonderfully sad, it's nice having those little breaks in between the verses for the subtle lead guitar. I love the bit at the end where the guitar does a reprise of the vocal melody too.
The layering of the voices works very nicely and adds a great texture. My only comment would be to bring down the spoken part just a little bit, at the moment it sounds a tad too loud.
Hardcore.
@monzo - nice work! Eerie by design rather than sleight of hand always wins out. Or to put it another way, you did Rod Serling proud:
On this splendid and somewhat analogue subject (almost), I have the summer trip to Maine coming up this weekend and was considering using Impaktor and AS (for found sounds) for the whole trip (Limo---->Austin--->New York--->Portland---->Drive up the coast) and then making my SOTMC for June out of the resultant travelogue, but realized it was just a desperate measure in response to having half a dozen songs half done but all somewhat stuck in second.....