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Comments
First SOTM contribution here. Thumbjam, Auxy and Impaktor all figured into the mix.
I look forward to hearing what folks think and listening to the other contributions.
First round of feedback... ;-)
@rkmonkey. The chord progressions and vocals gave off a nice Pink Floyd vibe. Love the contrast of the rock rhythm section and the busy electronic percussion which at points sounded industrial.
@jocphone. Really cool sound collage. Cool transition from the random to the rhythmic around the 1:00 minute mark. Some very creative sounds in this tune. It’s really unique how you shift between a chaotic, gritty vibe to a peaceful vibe. Dug it.
@igneous1. I really dug the deep rich bass. The piece gave off a little Peter Gabriel vibe to my ear. I could easily imagine Peter singing over this. Nice smooth mix.
@achromus. Beautiful. Very peaceful vibe. Pretty sounds and melodies. Really interesting meter. I guess it’s 4/4,
but it has the feel of an odd time sig.
@Matt_Fletcher_2000. Some nice weird metallic sounds to start things off. Great mix. All the voices came through nicely in the mix. Dig that swampy bass coming in around 1:30. The piece had an interesting edgy, unsettling vibe to it.
@High5denied. Pretty sounds and nice chilled out vibe. Meditation worthy I think. Cool progressions. The singing guitar (I assume it was a guitar) reminded me a bit of Alex Lifeson’s work on Xanadu.
@BvsMV. Never heard of synthgaze before. The piece had a kind of dreamy vibe. I dug the very analogue synth sounds.
@hellquist . It’s about 3 below here, and this tune provided a very fitting peaceful, introspective tune for a cold winter day. Nice work.
@orchardman. This definitely had a very “live” feel to it. Really dug the guitar work on this one. Whoa! The solo around 2:30 just sort of hits you over the head.
@theconnactic. This one definitely got the head bopping. This is like a jazzy Carlos Santanna with a little bit of trance elements thrown in. What? Amazing bass solo around 2:05. . Dug it.
@rickwaugh . Some very nice progressions in this one. Reminded me a bit of early Yes stuff. Enjoyed the story behind the song.
@crouchie . Really dug the vocals. They were recorded well, the lyrics were interesting, and the ryhtym of the spoken word part connected with the other rhythms nicely. Cool backing beat.
@aaronpc . This piece has a really nice groove. I really liked the sounds you used. All the parts fit together well. The progression of the tune really kept my interest throughout. Nice mix too. Nice transitions and breaks.
@ecamburn, that's a great piece of music. Super energy, great sounds. That first transition is amazing, just turns on and goes. I'm not entirely sure if I get an overall theme to the piece through the transitions, that would be my one nit, but very polished.
Thanks ecamburn, appreciate the thoughts.
Hey, @ecamburn: nice track! Loved the variety of riffs, specially the one at 1'26'': nice tone and nice choice of notes. The breakdown at 2'52'' is also cool.
@TGiG I love the redirect at 1:38. Really do. But then it became lost in dissonance. Nothing against dissonance, but in that case I really thought you were on the trail of something. Take the song to more places, then by all means tear it to pieces.
@LostBoy85 ..........your radio friendly songs continue sir! Another stomper from your warehouse of hits. Where is that located please so I can break in & steal some of your stuff
A deep in the gut bass drum beat anchors your sinisterly sultry song firmly to the dance floor. Hue & Cry meets Seal meets euro pop. Particularly liked the part at 2.50. I'd imagine your mate & his wife are ultra proud of your skills heard throughout this meaningful song.
Again, your vocals are the star of the show & agree with @rickwaugh about you successfully writing the lyrics & melody. Your tone, range & dynamics completely suit this style of music (is there a genre that doesn't!). Your vocal parts that are purposely lower in the mix & harmonies all add beautiful textures & interest. It's all thought out & done so well & professional sounding mix & production. This is only the first draft? Where do you go from here? What's next? I'm looking forward to whatever it is.
@LostBoy85 technically it's pretty excellent, singing is great as ever, and the vocal melody in the chorus is very hooky and hummable, the vocal textures and backing also very good and varied.
One thing that jars a little bit is that the anthemic/poppy nature of the music doesn't really fit the subject matter, which is dark and unhappy. I guess that's a subjective judgement, because the contrast might be deliberate and ironic, but for me these lyrics would go better with a darker tune. I'm sure plenty of people will disagree though, so let's chalk that one up to a matter of taste.
Chorus is very good, strong melody, and also strongly contrasts with the verse melodies.
@TGiG Nice one for putting your music out there. The opening salvo is eerily powerful, especially when the bass kicks in. It sounded like a swarm of wasps travelling up & down a silver metal lined mine shaft looking for a way out. Stay in there wasps & enjoy what's next. I wasn't sure which way you'd go after this....a sound mangling or more structured song. Perhaps 50/50 in that regard. That twisted wee bit 1.31 to 1.35 is yummy.
What sticks out to me is the clever way, in respect of when you change those 3 main chords. On the 6th beat & not the 4th where I thought it may change. It threw me off kilter & that's a great unexpected thing. Like the fading out of the drums at 3.50 to allow the juddery, spiked stuff to finish off. Deep, dark undercurrent with happy, alive sounds surfing above them sharing the waves. Any thoughts of vocals for your song?
@TGiG is that a reference to Tesla in the picture and the title? Certainly looks like him
It's not easy listening by any means. Starts off dark and brooding, and then the arp/melody comes in and is initially almost pretty sounding but gradually becomes more intense until at the end it's pretty unrelenting. Quite effective though and it could be a soundtrack to something with dark visuals. It's sounds like the arp/melody is being glitched by an Effectrix-like effect to me, to gradually destroy it.
If it were me, I would shorten the glitch phase and bring back the basic melody at the end as a reprise, and as a way of adding contrast to the broken up section.
@LostBoy85
I try not to veer off into stylistic preferences regarding feedback on this here thread, but like Richard, I find the track a bit too 'jolly' for the lyrics. Technically, yes very well sung, but I felt there was a tad too much going on with the voice parts in places.
@ecamburn nice track with lots of surprises up its sleeve.
Initially I wasn't really taken in, the intro a bit too simple musically and the tshh-tshh hi-hats didn't really grab me at first, but when that first melody comes in at 50 seconds that all changed - and then I really enjoyed listening to all the evolving lead lines that take you through to the end of the song. Lots of interesting little melodies played and lots of invention to keep them interesting for the remaining 3 minutes of the song. With just enough repetition to anchor the track. Nice ending too.
@ecamburn just finished listening to this with some sunny Austin morning coffee and am selfishly annoyed to see Mister Yot has (again) stolen my critical thunder (such as it is). Agree largely. I think the repetition does anchor it, but I would have liked some more narrative, but then that's my weakness/interest. Congrats on your first addition!
I just realized the soundcloud SOTMC channel has become my go to radio station for awesome real music. Cheers to everyone of you that throw your tunes up here. Now I need to find a tv station like this.
That's cool.....And a splendid idea! Tonight at work, I listen.
Wow first I'd like to thank you for coming up with and maintaining this incredible club. Bravo!
Yup, that's good ol' Tesla. I thought of his coils while writing in Animoog. I do like dark, uncomfortable pieces to invoke the imagination but I have to agree that I have an issue with staying on the same "corse" for too long. See, I don't wish to reinvent the wheel but I find the typical pop song structure formula a bit boring so I don't like to go back to a chorus, hook, etc. Because of that I typically back myself into a corner and don't know where to go except to stretch it out. And I totally agree that I should shorten the super long end and go into some sort of melody! Thank you!
Thank you, it's about time I commit to writing! Yes! It totally sounds like wasps swarming! As a drummer I find it very difficult to write percussion on anything other than drums! I can't stand using loops. Period. Drum machines and sequencers could do it but my add wants nothing to do with all of the programming required to make something interesting!
And no...I hate the sound of my voice and I am a terrible writer of the English language.
Thank you! Losing the listener in the dissonance was intended however I absolutely agree that it should go down different avenues sonically. I tend to stretch things out too much in order to not be repetitive...which obviously is repetitive! Ha!
I'd defiantly like to revisit this and change it up a bit. Can we do that here?
I'm still listening to other tacks here. They are sooo good that I forgot to think of critiques
Thanks again you guys!
Aw don't worry about that sir! I can't stand hearing myself screaming & shouting either. It's because of the advice & confidence boost that all the beautiful people in this Club have given me, that I can serve up some any type of vocal at all. I hope you decide to give it a go on future songs. No mic needed to start with, I just slam it straight down the pipe of the iPads internal mic.
Good luck!
Yep, you can delete the track from SCloud & then, when you're happy, just upload your revised version. Think you lose all your stats but hey........ If you have a pro account, I don't think you even have to delete first but please check cos I'm still in the cheap seats!
@rkmonkey Love the track! I wasn't expecting the turn at the beginning with the vocals, it's great! I totally love that slap sounding bass and helicopter? Was that a helicopter in there?! Awesome! Great work!
@Jocphone Dude. I love it! So good! I especially love piano melodies and the stereo imaging with the sounds surrounding and moving all around from left, to right, to center. Lovely piece!
@Igneous1 This song makes me happy! I throughly enjoy the overall tone and enthusiasm of the piece. The different bell sounds totally make it solid in my opinion. I know this has nothing to do with the final product but I see in your notes that it was made in Gadget? If so that's skill! Nice work!
@theconnactic Man,that's some bad assery on the guitar man! Very cool! I liked how you broke up the guitar and gave the track some great dynamics with some quieter parts.Great bass drop! The only thing that I wasn't crazy about was the beat,but I get that you didn't want the Veg getting in the way of the sausages! (Sorry man,wife's making me watch too much masterchef of late!) Welcome to da club and great first entry.
@rickwaugh hey dude,great to have you aboard,thanks for your comments on my track,I appreciate it a lot.Now I hate to copy myself but my review of your track pretty much mirrors the one above.Excellent guitar playing and a nice overall track but I just didn't get on with the drums in your track.They seemed a bit too metronomey in places.Sorry dude.Now I realise that you don't want your potato dauphinois to steal the thunder away from the lamb shank but I just feel that they could have been better.No offence meant mate.Nice track overall mate.
@crouchie Man,what a fantastic track! Excellent delivery/performance really took me back to Arrested development's "Mr Wendel",Blurs "Parklife",Counting crows "Mr Jones" and anything by "The streets".I loved the music,especially the raving section.The lyrics were simply awesome! Some words were slightly quieter than others so maybe some more compression on the vocal would really make it pop.
Really great stuff man.Well done!
@LostBoy85, no worries. The drums were straight midi out of Notion. I'm still not quite sure what to do about percussion in the long term. Definitely a work in progress.
Thanks to everyone who commented on my track,very kind of you all.@Bluepunk haha,man,there's no way in hell I'd play this song for my mate whose in trouble,it's way to obvious.I just like observing and finding things to write about.As for my mate who did the music well I think I scored a miss with this one unfortunately.Sigh..oh well u can't please everyone,he's pretty prolific and is working with actual pop stars.Its been good fun though.I read somewhere that Sia (whose had hits with everyone it seems) wrote a load of songs with Adele for Adeles album and not even one made the cut.I must admit that made me feel better!
@richardyot do u know mate,it's funny,it never once occurred to me about the music and the lyrics being a contrast! I do know that a lot of people have had success with that old songwriters trick of pairing upbeat music with downbeat lyrics,but I can't claim that that was my intention on this one...note to self...must pay more attention to what I'm doing!!
@TGiG . Tesla inspired? The intro pad and synth sounds sounded evoked energy and electricity nicely. Dunno if that was intentional or not. Some really interesting sound design in this piece. It's interesting how the piece moves back and forth between melodic music with a beat and pure abstract sounds. The last minute or so is a very challenging listen, but it sounds like that was on purpose. :-) I definitely felt like I was taken on a journey with this one.
Thanks TGiG, and glad to see you pitching in!
Exactly this: I made this song for the guitar and the synths to dance together around the beat, so it should be as straightforward as possible. Very thoughtful review and thank you very much for the compliments, but I shall say it wasn't my first entry.
All the best!
Happy & peaceful 2016 to you all. This is quite possibly the closest to a love song that I will ever make! It's dedicated to Mrs Bluepunk who had a crap 2015. Mental health issues resulting in some stays in hospital under the dreaded "sectioning orders". I mention this otherwise you wouldn't have a clue what the words are on about. She lives her artist life right on the very, very edge & sometimes falls off. I have even tried a very basic solo for the first time in her honour....yikes!
This months songs have all been wonderful so far. Sorry to have broken that run!
Apps played: Guitarism, ifretless bass, Cubasis, ipad internal mic.
@Bluepunk love that bass line, and love the tone that you got out of iFretless as well, sounds just like a real bass but it presumably doesn't give you blisters when you play it
Also the playing is really tight, you sound like a really well-rehearsed 3 piece band, very solid rhythmically. Vocals are also very good in a sneering John Lyndon way. Nice touch to get your wife to sing the chorus as well.
There is a definite sense of steady improvement in your songs in the last 3-4 months, keep at it because I'm really curious to see where this journey takes you. Initially it was your drumming that stood out, but now it's that bass riff and the song structure that are the highlights.
Well. Steve Cook on lead then. Careful, this way there be dragons etc.
Overall a good song. It feels a bit betwixt and between, but then that's as much to do with the listener and what they add on/overlay. All the technical bits are good. Words good. Singing efficient and good, and -Lord knows- I know getting to that point is 90% of the battle, but this material is good enough that part of me wants the other ten per cent. This is WAY more than a first draft, but it is (feels) like a good safe version. Accomplished, job done etc. BUT (of course) there's more room still etc.
Love that the Missus actually delivers the message.
@Bluepunk, great tune. Channeling the Ramones, which is not a bad thing at all. Solo was right on. Nice tight mix, everything in its place, everything fit the style very well.
Added this:
https://forum.audiob.us/discussion/comment/194651/#Comment_194651
appropriately to the Glen Frey thread, but -on further thought- it might really belong hereabouts...
@Bluepunk hey dude,firstly I'm gonna give you a bollocking for putting yourself down when you posted the track!! Bad Kevin!! You have come along leaps and bounds in a short few months and are a massive part of this ere clubaah! I've not heard a bad track from you yet and this one is really good.The vocal level is spot on to my ears (which uv struggled with in the past,so good job!) Question? Is that your wife on the chorus or are you putting on a voice? I honestly thought it was the latter. Well done for pushing yourself with the music (especially the solo) and I've always felt that it's more rewarding as a songwriter to write about "real" stuff happening around you which your obviously tackling here.Does your wife like it? She should.Well done mate!